Trying to have a relationship with my Granddaughter.

[Mircea]

Originally Posted by WorldKlas

Her mother never liked me no matter how hard I tried to connect with her.

Her parents divorced when she was 16 and her Dad (my son) got full custody due to Mom’s alcoholism.

I seems almost hopeless trying to have a relationship with this girl. Do I give up? She is my only grandchild.

Originally Posted by cb2008

It is not hopeless, never hopeless.

The psychology says it is hopeless.

Originally Posted by cb2008

In a few more years she will learn to appreciate her grand mother.

Maybe. After the granddaughter has years of therapy. You missed the part about the dysfunctional family and the mother "poisoned" the daughter.

Bribery doesn't work, and the only thing the OP is doing is setting herself up for more disappointment and getting ghosted as a bonus.

The granddaughter is 18 and going to be living her life and that is not going to include the grandmother. Even if the granddaughter has a child or gets married and has a child, the dynamics of this relationship is not going to change. It'll be interesting to see if the granddaughter allows the OP access to her great-grandchild.

Oh, and keeping score is the worst thing to do.

Originally Posted by Spuggy

You can’t force a relationship nor do you need to give up. You are wanting something you can’t have and getting constantly disappointed. I’d say stop having expectations, because she is never going to be the grandchild you wanted. Maybe send texts and ask how she is but maybe put aside the gift giving and scale back paying for things. Maintaining a presence is the best you can do, one that is safe, available, fun to get texts from.

That is by far the most spot on analysis and advice. The OP needs to accept that whatever relationship exists is going to be on the granddaughter's terms and fighting back will only push the granddaughter further away.