Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My spouse of 41 years passed away after a long illness three weeks ago. I've had quite awhile to plan ahead and thought everything in my mind was settled. Now I'm rethinking things. Maybe purchasing another home right now isn't the right course of action. At my age, it might not be wise to tie up so much capital into another house.
Moving is expensive. Getting this house ready to sell has cost me a few thousand dollars already. Once it's ready, I still have to pay the realtor's fees, escrow fees, moving costs....
If I buy a new house, I reckon to get a few years out of it. If it has to be sold by me or my kids after awhile, there we go again. Expenses and fees. If I buy a house for, say, $400k, it will cost me $20k in realtor's fees, etc. to sell. That means it has to appreciate in value by that much just to break even. That's a lot of appreciation and it might not appreciate at all.
If I rent somewhere, the capital can be reinvested and at my disposal. No more maintenance worries, upkeep. I might decide to buy at some point and this will give me time to think.
Moving out of this house will be sad but I can't afford to keep it now.
Thoughts?
Very sorry for the loss of your spouse. My recommendation remains the same as always: buy a small condo, preferably in a popular location that will appreciate. Rents rise much faster than costs of maintaining a condo, and you may have more than two decades left of independent life. When you are ready to move to assisted living, you can sell the condo. It does not sound as though you are an investment wizzard, so not sure that you would profit better with renting for 20 years while investing the $ than would otherwise be tied in the condo.
all our assets will be a nice tax free gift to the kids one day. no real estate to deal with can be a plus for them
I am leaving my family cash and a much younger friend real estate. I told her as non-family she (and hubby) have to work a little for it . I realize real estate is such a PITA. I mean if there is anything left of me other than dust (all we are is dust in the wind). Mine is entirely favoritism and nothing is "fair." I do not have children so I can do it that way. Everyone knows a lot can happen your last few years of life and no one should count on much of anything for sure.
Grief and Mourning Thread, on City-Data, was helpful 12 years ago when my husband died, several widows in their 60's shared their experiences, questions about their new journey in life.
Vulnerable I was, had to let go of several friends, not acceptable behavior even with relatives.
Wait most Posters suggest. For myself, learned there No time limit of grief.
Financial, sought my pastor and a financial person whom I trusted, could be objective in.my decision making.
2 years after his death,, took a Road Scholar trip, on my own to Charleston, S.C. Had a learning experience, especially living in the West most of my life. Early 70's, took my first trip overseas, solo and joined the tour group.
This is to encourage you. For the trips, something I wanted to do.
6 years later, moved in the same town, to a modular home in a 55 community, from a home with an acre+ of land. Less maintenance, especially finding reputable help. Yes, pay a monthly fee, did pay property tax on my home.
You're wise Posting, stressful this time of your journey without the stress of moving. Breathe ! a dear friend told me. You've only just begun. Easy does it. One day at a time. The answers will come, when you're ready.
Made short paragraphs, my brain was numb when Bruce died. Took a while to adjust to my new journey solo with the help of my Lord.
Many thanks for all your replies - I read each and every one of them and appreciate the time taken to offer me such sage advice.
My house will be put on the market for $750k. I hope to net around $500k after all the fees are paid, mortgage, etc. This is all the money I will have in the world but am fortunate enough to have income from my spouse's pension and SS which ads up to around $3800/month.
There aren't many apartment buildings in my area and I don't want to rent a house that the owner will want to sell in a few years. I want to stay put.
Nice rentals around here are in the $2k range and there are slim pickings.
A lovely retirement (55 plus) neighborhood is being built nearby. The houses are new construction. The one I like will cost around $405k. There are some less expensive ones but smaller, like $385k. HOAs are $185/month and include maintenance (front yard) and a pool.
If I spend $405k on a house, my investment guru will have $100k to invest for me. That's it. All the cash I have. But there won't be a mortgage which is good.
The more I think about renting, the more I think it's time to stop worrying and just buy a house in the community I like. If I put it in trust for my kids then they can worry about paying realtor fees and all that stuff. Houses in those communities don't appreciate as much as non-55-plus homes. I am conscious of that.
If anyone is willing to offer any more advice on this subject, my ears are flapping to listen, lol.
Grief and Mourning Thread was helpful 12 years ago when my husband died, several widows in their 60's shared their experiences questions about their new journey in life.
Vulnerable I was, had to let go of several friends, not acceptable behavior even with relatives.
Wait most Posters suggest. For myself, learned there No time limit of grief.
Financial, sought my pastor and a financial person whom I trusted, could be objective in.my decision making.
2 years after his death,, took a Road Scholar trip, on my own to Charleston, S.C. Had a learning experience, especially living in the West most of my life. Early 70's, took my first trip overseas, solo and joined the tour group.
This is to encourage you. For the trips, something I wanted to do.
6 years later, moved in the same town, to a modular home in a 55 community, from a home with an acre+ of land.
You're wise Posting, stressful this time of your journey without the stress of moving. Breathe ! a dear friend told me. You've only just begun. Easy does it. One day at a time. The answers will come, when you're ready.
Made short paragraphs, my brain was numb when Bruce died. Took a while to adjust to my new journey solo with the help of my Lord.
Prayers.
Sera, I am so sorry for your loss and admire your ability to cope by being good to yourself. It is a huge adjustment on many different levels when a spouse passes away. Paperwork. Social Security. Medical Bills. Burial expenses.
Since my spouse was sick for so many years, my plans are not as sudden as they appear. I've had time to think and prepare. When it looks like things are ready to go, I rethink everything. I've never made these Big Decisions on my own.
I'm thinking maybe 84/5. I don't anticipate the last five years or so to be healthy and may go into assisted living at that point.
Did I miss Ex NY's actual age now? I mean married 41 years could mean 57 or could mean 77+?
Also, "planned death age" is an estimate and unless we are terminal we can only guestimate. For instance what I really think is 77 to 83ish for a "planned death age" for me. However, I also realize I could go to 87-93. Who the heck knows?
I think we have to rely on statistics (even if we think we kind of know based on immediate family, etc.). For instance I did an analysis of my grandmother's children (grandmother's lived to 92 and 95). Grandmother's children (including my parents) there was one that lived to 80 (just 80, not 81+). That is out of 27 children one lived to 80 and the rest was a mishmash of ages including my parents at 49 and 65. My 3 remaining siblings are 75, 77 and 79. Two deceased siblings our eldest lived to 77 and next eldest 71. I have health issues, my siblings have health issues and we grew up too close to the Nevada Test Site where nukes were tested above ground until 1962. We all go from cancer (and I know we have a lot of company in that).
Bottom line is age at death is almost impossible to predict unless you have a terminal diagnosis (and it could still be off).
I think Ex NY needs to plan for the worst and hope for the best. And, obviously wait for a while to ensure clearer thinking and judgement after such a dramatic transition in life.
Ours friends sold their house to family and are renting an apartment now. My daughter and son-in-law used to live in the complex. I know they are $$$. It’s a good fit for them. Ground floor with an in unit laundry.
Many thanks for all your replies - I read each and every one of them and appreciate the time taken to offer me such sage advice.
My house will be put on the market for $750k. I hope to net around $500k after all the fees are paid, mortgage, etc. This is all the money I will have in the world but am fortunate enough to have income from my spouse's pension and SS which ads up to around $3800/month.
There aren't many apartment buildings in my area and I don't want to rent a house that the owner will want to sell in a few years. I want to stay put.
Nice rentals around here are in the $2k range and there are slim pickings.
A lovely retirement (55 plus) neighborhood is being built nearby. The houses are new construction. The one I like will cost around $405k. There are some less expensive ones but smaller, like $385k. HOAs are $185/month and include maintenance (front yard) and a pool.
If I spend $405k on a house, my investment guru will have $100k to invest for me. That's it. All the cash I have. But there won't be a mortgage which is good.
The more I think about renting, the more I think it's time to stop worrying and just buy a house in the community I like. If I put it in trust for my kids then they can worry about paying realtor fees and all that stuff. Houses in those communities don't appreciate as much as non-55-plus homes. I am conscious of that.
If anyone is willing to offer any more advice on this subject, my ears are flapping to listen, lol.
Here is an alternative financial plan. Rather than investing $400K in a house and have only $100K left, why not put all $500K in a bond fund paying about 5% interest? That would earn you $25K per year which would cover all of your rent payments.
That way, even after renting for several years, you would still have your $500,000 dollars in savings or possibly even a little more if you manage to save some from your $45,000 per year pension. Plus, if you decide you want to relocate after a few years, all you need to do is give 30 days notice. No house to sell. No realtors to deal with. No commissions to pay. The commission savings alone would amount to perhaps $20,000 which equals approximately one year's housing rental cost.
Renting may well be your best bet and it's certainly the most flexible alternative.
I have to assume if she is buying a $400k house, that the initial outlay is around $100K & she will still be able to invest a lot of the $400K left. But $100K would cover about 4 years rent in her area & she would still have probably over $400K invested at that time as well. But she should do what makes sense for her.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. I realize real estate is such a PITA. I mean if there is anything left of me other than dust (all we are is dust in the wind). Mine is entirely favoritism and nothing is "fair." I do not have children so I can do it that way. Everyone knows a lot can happen your last few years of life and no one should count on much of anything for sure.