What do you think of people who acknowledge that they are attractive?

[CorporateCowboy]

Originally Posted by SnazzyB

The word "acknowledge" is kind of problematic to this conversation.

"Hey random lady just walking down the street, you're pretty!"

Acknowledger replies "Yes, I am."

(Well that's kind of awkward.)

I think more typically, it plays like this: "Hey random lady, you're pretty!"
Acknowledger replies "Oh, thank you for saying so! I'm flattered!"

Too funny; I agree an acknowledgement equates to a ‘thank you’ or ‘I’m flattered you think so’. That said, I don’t think it plays out too often one would directly compliment a woman or man on the street (stranger) relative to their looks, either. It’s a bit socially awkward, in and of itself.

[tamajane]

I'll admit now I was once attractive. For what it's worth. I didn't think so back then.

[Parnassia]

Originally Posted by littletraveller

Not in a bigheaded way. Just matter-of-factly.

If a person is attractive, I think they reach a point where they just know. I can name a dozen ways society treats attractive people differently.

Well, this is rather vague question isn't it? Definitions matter.

What do you mean by "attractive"? You're limiting this to physical beauty, aren't you? Is this just another thinly veiled whine about how unfair people can be to us underdogs?

Yes, yes, yes, studies have repeatedly demonstrated that the physically beautiful people among us tend to get more of society's goodies. It isn't fair. So what? It isn't going to change any time soon so don't hold your breath. If how others treat you has taught you to believe you aren't attractive, it's going to be up to you to find some other way to validate yourself. Or not. You can also sit around and mope over the injustice of it all or lose yourself in an endless search for some perfection that isn't attainable.

In an ideal world, "attractive" should encompass other traits of more value: intelligence, kindness, honesty, justice, humility, humor, all the rest of it. The trouble with this sort of attractiveness is that it often takes more than a glance to discover it. You have to invest a little more time in the person. Sometimes society does acknowledge more than superficial beauty, sometimes it doesn't.

Speaking of "acknowledge", what do you mean by that? I don't see anything intrinsically wrong with accepting what you have learned (or others have taught you) is true about yourself. It's how you make use of that knowledge that matters.

You can know and accept that you're attractive and use that to justify being a condescending, arrogant snob to the lesser beings you meet during your life.

You can also accept and acknowledge feedback people give you in a gracious manner instead of being snotty or ignoring it. Who cares if the compliment happens to be a validation of something the person already knows about themselves or whether it comes as a pleasant surprise? A little bit of self-depreciating humor can go a long way, but of course you can overdo that. Then you'll come off as insincere, perpetually needy and fishing for more compliments. Behaving in a gracious manner to other people also does tend to pay off socially. People tend to treat gracious people better than boors. What they might look like may have nothing to do with it!

[Igor Blevin]

Attractive people know it fairly quickly. From youth. They get much better treatment than unattractive people. Period. They have much more social success and it comes much younger.

I would guess that someone who acknowledges their attractivness without egotism is just an honest and secure person. Some very attractive people are almost ashamed about it, because they understand the huge advantage they were born with, without lifting a finger to earn it. I have seen very attractive people who could not take complements and did not like being told they are attractive.

I think somebody who acknowledges they are attractive but is not egotistical about it, is just very secure in themselves and well adjusted and realistic.

Attractiveness is no panacea but it is a massive advantage to be extremely attractive. It opens a lot of doors and gets you past a lot of barriers, creates exceptions, gets you out of trouble and gives you a longer leash.

Being ugly is a tough handicap to overcome. You had better be exceptionally good at something.

[godrestores]

In my experience, pretty privilege mostly applies to those that are conventionally attractive. Extreme attractiveness, on the other hand, is more likely to result in one being ostracized and abused, unless they're lucky enough to have a strong support system around them. Still, society is not very kind to its most unique individuals.

So bragging about one's perceived good looks could be delusional narcissism, but in rarer cases may be a defense mechanism towards the hate and backlash someone has received throughout their life due to their exceptional appearance. Humility is a virtue, but it has limited effectiveness.

[Auraliea]

I think when OP says "acknowledge," I think they mean interally. Not going around and actually saying it. At least that's how I am and how I see it. I know that I am attractive because well simply put....people tell me that I am and the way they treat me reflects that. Also I take very good care of myself (exercising, balanced diet, daily internal work). I tend to acknowledge it in a matter of fact fashion because it's really not that serious. Yes sometimes it's nice when people compliment me or do nice things for me because they like the way I look, but has anything truly meaningful happened because of it? No not really. It can also put me in some really awkard situations, as I don't really care for a lot of attention nor am I interested in attracting a partner. I rely on intellect, personality, and skills in order to acheive the things I want and need. Some people think it's strange that I don't "behave" a certain type of way because I'm attractive. But either way it goes, I know I'm just another person trying to figure out this thing called life.

BTW: I think being attractive and being unnattractive are extreme sides of the coin. I believe majority of people are average looking. "Extreme beauty" and "extreme unattractiveness" is rare. Most people fall in the middle. And being average, you would be surprised how far a decent exercsie routine, grooming practices, balanced diet, and learning to be more self ware can go. Just speaking from my own personal exeprience.

[NORTY FLATZ]

Are you talking "physical" attractiveness, or other?

[Lodestar]

There is that thing that the more socially agreeable you are the more attractive people will perceive you to be. Presentation is important. A smile is your friend.

And a word about false humility. That was a common practice where I grew up. It might have been a cultural trait or coping mechanism that our immigrant population adopted to stave off unwanted attention or envy. In my home culture it was considered bad form to ever admit to anything others didn't have. Most of us tried not to look more wealthy, important, more talented than anyone else. It was sure to raise community criticism. This is probably true in most cultures.

If anyone complimented you the socially correct response was to deny that you were any different than anyone else. That was considered gracious. But actually I always thought it was a demonstration of dishonesty, false humility.

I hadn't recognized how much we had carried that silent rule along with us until one day after dinner my young daughter said, "Good meal, Mom," and I answered, "Yes, it was, wasn't it?" She looked startled and told me I wasn't supposed to agree. That sounded like bragging!

But I feel a bit different about superficial attractiveness which has just entered the conversation. If someone told me I was attractive I think I would feel awkward, even if I thought so, to say, "Yes, I am, aren't I?" It's just not in our book of socially approved phrases.

[cb2008]

Originally Posted by littletraveller

Not in a bigheaded way. Just matter-of-factly.

If a person is attractive, I think they reach a point where they just know. I can name a dozen ways society treats attractive people differently.

You seem to be making two points.
1. One is the straightforward question in the OP above. I think of them same way as when they acknowledge they are athletic, strong, can run fast, are kind, white or black, had a new hairstyle, any number of things. I think nothing really. Yes I think if one is any of that they just know.
2. You feel society treats attractive people differently. True. It also treats poor people, the homeless, racial minorities, women, the disabled differently.
What is your point. really?

[RubyandPearl]

Probably by the time people are teenagers they're aware if they're attractive. Some even before then.

One of my cousins was the most beautiful baby and little girl, not just cute, but beautiful. Strangers just walking by would exclaim how beautiful she was. So by the time she was a teenager she knew.

My mother and her sister, my aunt, were very beautiful, 1940s movie star quality. They had also been really pretty as children.

I've wondered if attractiveness in childhood leads to narcissistic tendencies. Several people in my family seem to be burdened with those traits although none officially diagnosed.

From what I've read about it, I'd say my father, who was considered handsome, went so far as to have Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

That's not to say that every attractive person is a narcissist, not at all.

When I look in the mirror all I see are flaws

In the end it's just surface and fades anyway. I wanted to be known for my abilities not my looks.