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No, of course not, LOL. But I am saying that the fact that I was passed over for most of my life in part because I was too tall is a factor that normal-sized or petite women who are also not particularly attractive didn't have to wrestle with. My chances of even being considered as someone to date were lowered drastically by the overheight issue alone. Yes, if one is tall and naturally beautiful, it might be different, but I was not attractive. Not to the point where I needed a bag over my head or anything, but rather "plain".
I get what you're saying. I think "plain" is how I would also describe myself too. I didn't need a bag over my head either, and for what it's worth I was always very clean and wore make up to utilize what I did have. I tried to dress decently too.
I'd love to read a follow up to OP where OP actually tried out some of the advice offered and let us know how it's worked out. It's sad and, frankly, infuriating reading posts where they've tried absolutely nothing and are upset by the results. And even when they truly believe they've made an effort, I often don't think it's nearly enough of an effort. I have friends like what OP describes and what I generally observe is a full stoppage of effort after one failed attempt at something. Typically after the failed attempt, they rage quit, go home, and sulk about it for days, weeks, or even months. Sometimes I don't hear from these people for months on end. It's really sad to me that someone is living their lives that way.
I'd love to read a follow up to OP where OP actually tried out some of the advice offered and let us know how it's worked out. It's sad and, frankly, infuriating reading posts where they've tried absolutely nothing and are upset by the results. And even when they truly believe they've made an effort, I often don't think it's nearly enough of an effort. I have friends like what OP describes and what I generally observe is a full stoppage of effort after one failed attempt at something. Typically after the failed attempt, they rage quit, go home, and sulk about it for days, weeks, or even months. Sometimes I don't hear from these people for months on end. It's really sad to me that someone is living their lives that way.
There are some of these threads where the OP will say, "I'm not like that and can't do that." You probably can't change your nature, but you can change your actions. They don't want to change their actions. Some things are just a little more difficult for an introvert, but they are far from impossible. I actually do a better job of talking to strangers than my more extroverted wife. I moved a lot as a kid and had lots of experience being around a bunch of strangers.
To the poster who messaged me privately through the rep comment, I hope you see this.
I hear you. I understand your own frustrations about seeking advice or venting about your experience. Sometimes anonymous strangers' patience wears thin with us when we choose these avenues. But truthfully, what more can we expect from complete strangers who can't put even a face to our anonymous identity? We often judge others on their actions (or perceived inactions) while we judge ourselves on our intent. That's an unfortunate reality.
I hope that one day you'll feel comfortable enough to DM me. I'm happy to talk (privately and discreetly). I've been in your shoes before, though maybe I had better fortune or luck at times. Nonetheless, I feel like I am someone you can confide in and who will speak to you with grace about your struggles. If not, that's okay, too. I bid you well.
It is much harder for a man to find a partner than a woman. Woman have it made and can get a guy whenever they want. Women are often attracted to men that are older but men are not attracted to older women. This creates a dynamic where there are more men in the dating pool than women.
I read that 99% of women who wanted a child before age of 35 had one and the 1% was made up of people that physically couldn't conceive. Only 65% of men had children that wanted children by 35.
For every woman under the age of 35, there are probably 20 available single guys that will go after her. Every girl I've dated gets a ton of responses and will have 8 dates in a week. You have to compete and be more attractive than the other 8 is not an easy task.
Looks are the most important part of our lives and yet we have no control over that.
Don't believe everything you read. That is clearly a false statistic.
I think infertility might account for more than 1 percent, but otherwise, I would go along with that.
Just quickly off the top of my head I can think of a couple of women who got married early, divorced and never had children. One hasn't remarried. The other remarried after 40. Those were not fertility issues, just trouble finding the right person to start a family with. Saw a stat that 21.6% (Statista) of women 35-39 were childless. I find it hard to believe that 95% of that group had no interest in having children. Found a separate census report from 2014 on men. For that age group 28.4% had never had children. It was higher for men, but not as dramatic as that other post claimed.
One interesting thing from that latter report was education. Men with HS diplomas were most likely to be childless, 25.9%. Least likely were those with Associates, then those with Graduate degrees, both under 10%. Those with bachelor's, 16.7% were close to the roughly 21% for HS dropouts and some college than they were to those with graduate degrees or associates.
I guess I'd argue that if they were truly interested in having children, not finding the right man wouldn't have stopped them. After all, we don't technically NEED them these days -- only their sperm.
I guess I'd argue that if they were truly interested in having children, not finding the right man wouldn't have stopped them. After all, we don't technically NEED them these days -- only their sperm.
Well some women do that-or adopt on their own. We have one friend do the latter. But finances and the time and challenges of being a single parent discourages some from doing that.
Well some women do that-or adopt on their own. We have one friend do the latter. But finances and the time and challenges of being a single parent discourages some from doing that.
Again, priorities. If a woman truly wanted a child, she'd find a way around that (it's possible). So again I'd argue that she must not have wanted one that badly.
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