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My mom lost her dog a few months ago after a long illness. She has been adamant that she wants another dog. SHe is 87 and is fairly disabled...can't walk well and uses her walker often for fear of falling, not because she really needs it to walk. She lives in a cottage in a continuing care community that is very nice
I am two hours away from her, my brother is about an hour away, and my other brother is 5 hours away and can't be bothered to help so we don't really count him in the equation.
In the fall, my brother conference called us and said he wanted to start utilizing some of the services that the continuing care community provides for mom. He is not working full time and has been doing much of mom's care, her paperwork, financials, doctors visits, etc, so he sees her frequently. My older brother and I did not think such a suggestion would go over very well with mom, which really ticked my brother off because he interpreted it as meaning we didn't think she needed extra help. My POV is that mom has authority issues and getting the continuing care facility people involved would make her feel like she was sent to the principal's office
Now I have found a suitable dog for mom. A small couch potato adult dog who doesn't like to go for walks and basically just wants to cuddle. My brother is adamant that she should not have this dog because her activities of daily living are so shaky. She isn't cleaning, she is easily confused, she shouldn't be driving, she has trouble getting her prescriptions refilled.
I think we should Tell mom that if she wants the dog, she needs to pursue a home health aide 2-3 times per week. Would that be out of line?
Yes, you are making more work for everyone. Your mom isn't capable of caring for a dog. The dog will end up homeless again very shortly. A very bad idea.
No dog, please. I’m in an “active adult” community, where we are independent and each own our house or townhouse. One older/elderly neighbor was devastated after losing her dog to a coyote. She doesn’t use a walker, but isn’t all that steady on her feet, so she wouldn’t use a leash and just let the little dog out into the yard.
She now has a new dog that she can’t take care of. It just messes all over the house, and she has problems cleaning up after it.
She's not cleaning and she's easily confused. You don't need to be adding some poor dog to the mix. Your brother that spends the most time taking care of her needs doesn't need a dog to deal with as well.
My mom lost her dog a few months ago after a long illness. She has been adamant that she wants another dog. SHe is 87 and is fairly disabled...can't walk well and uses her walker often for fear of falling, not because she really needs it to walk. She lives in a cottage in a continuing care community that is very nice
I am two hours away from her, my brother is about an hour away, and my other brother is 5 hours away and can't be bothered to help so we don't really count him in the equation.
In the fall, my brother conference called us and said he wanted to start utilizing some of the services that the continuing care community provides for mom. He is not working full time and has been doing much of mom's care, her paperwork, financials, doctors visits, etc, so he sees her frequently. My older brother and I did not think such a suggestion would go over very well with mom, which really ticked my brother off because he interpreted it as meaning we didn't think she needed extra help. My POV is that mom has authority issues and getting the continuing care facility people involved would make her feel like she was sent to the principal's office
Now I have found a suitable dog for mom. A small couch potato adult dog who doesn't like to go for walks and basically just wants to cuddle. My brother is adamant that she should not have this dog because her activities of daily living are so shaky. She isn't cleaning, she is easily confused, she shouldn't be driving, she has trouble getting her prescriptions refilled.
I think we should Tell mom that if she wants the dog, she needs to pursue a home health aide 2-3 times per week. Would that be out of line?
Your mother does not need another dog. Your brother is right, she needs more care whether she wants it or not. My aunt complains to me all the time but she needs people to come take care of her when I can't and I tell her that. Do Not Get your mother another dog. It is something that needs care as well and who will care for it if your mother is unable?
My mom lost her dog a few months ago after a long illness. She has been adamant that she wants another dog. SHe is 87 and is fairly disabled...can't walk well and uses her walker often for fear of falling, not because she really needs it to walk. She lives in a cottage in a continuing care community that is very nice
I am two hours away from her, my brother is about an hour away, and my other brother is 5 hours away and can't be bothered to help so we don't really count him in the equation.
In the fall, my brother conference called us and said he wanted to start utilizing some of the services that the continuing care community provides for mom. He is not working full time and has been doing much of mom's care, her paperwork, financials, doctors visits, etc, so he sees her frequently. My older brother and I did not think such a suggestion would go over very well with mom, which really ticked my brother off because he interpreted it as meaning we didn't think she needed extra help. My POV is that mom has authority issues and getting the continuing care facility people involved would make her feel like she was sent to the principal's office
Now I have found a suitable dog for mom. A small couch potato adult dog who doesn't like to go for walks and basically just wants to cuddle. My brother is adamant that she should not have this dog because her activities of daily living are so shaky. She isn't cleaning, she is easily confused, she shouldn't be driving, she has trouble getting her prescriptions refilled.
I think we should Tell mom that if she wants the dog, she needs to pursue a home health aide 2-3 times per week. Would that be out of line?
Call up the people that run the place where your mother lives and ask if they have or know someone who owns service dogs. The owner could bring the dog to visit your mother 2 or 3 times a week. Thats what they are trained for. Even your mothers local senior center, fire dep, even police dep in some places employ service dogs. Your mother could still get to pet and cuddle another living thing which is very benefical to her mental health.
It amazes people how many people have no clue about the benefits to mental health, even phy health that pets give.
Call up the people that run the place where your mother lives and ask if they have or know someone who owns service dogs. The owner could bring the dog to visit your mother 2 or 3 times a week. Thats what they are trained for. Even your mothers local senior center, fire dep, even police dep in some places employ service dogs. Your mother could still get to pet and cuddle another living thing which is very benefical to her mental health.
It amazes people how many people have no clue about the benefits to mental health, even phy health that pets give.
Are you talking about a "therapy" dog? Service dogs are not trained to visit people; they are trained to alert to medical conditions their owner has, or to provide assistance for functionality the owner does not have.
Are you talking about a "therapy" dog? Service dogs are not trained to visit people; they are trained to alert to medical conditions their owner has, or to provide assistance for functionality the owner does not have.
Ive heard them called "service" dogs, also I have heard " therapy" dogs though the ones I know are more trained for different conditions than service dogs or what would be necessary in this case. Does it really matter which kind of trained dog? Trained is the important word. Or maybe a neighbor with a nice dog to visit the posters mother.
If your mother cannot look after herself, she probably can't look after a dog either. I agree with the suggestion that she request therapy dogs. I had a pal in a ltc facility & her favorite visitor was the dog who came in once a week. Plus she could die before the dog & then what are you going to do?
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