Making friends in Bend? (Portland: fit in, homes, neighborhood) - Oregon (OR) -Deschutes County - City-Data Forum

Hugshalo · 10-21-2008, 09:22 PM

I am having a hard time meeting people in Bend. It seems to be very clickish. I moved here 9 months ago and haven't really met anyone. Can anyone offer some helpful advice that doesn't necessarily entail outdoorsy activities? That isn't exactly my cup of tea. I am not against some activities, but not heavily into it. Help me please. It sucks moving to a new place all alone and finding it hard to meet people that will become friends.

Bendite · 10-22-2008, 10:18 AM

Any town can be tough to break into socially - the onus is on you to find the method. Every week or so, the Bend Bulletin publishes a full page of organizations looking for volunteers. Find a few that are in areas of your interest and sign up - they aren't all soup kitchen duty (though that service is one that always needs help). I've seen volunteer opportunities ranging from taking care of chimpanzees at the Chimps Rescue to helping out on the rape hotline, to pulling noxious weeds, to volunteering at the High Desert Museum. While you may not be an outdoor enthusiast, maybe something indoors will appeal, like a yoga class at the Parks & Rec's Juniper Fitness facility, or maybe a NYC Ballet Workout at the Academie de Ballet. COCC offers a myriad of courses for non-matriculated citizens, or sign up for a cooking class at Allyson's Kitchen. Bend has a place of worship for practically everyone, even those who are not affililated with any particular belief, and they all have social events. Bend is divided into neighborhood associations - fiind the one you're in and join in their efforts ( look on the City's website for links). I have no doubt that once you find a few things to do in areas of your interest, you will make friends.

delta07 · 10-22-2008, 11:47 AM

I agree with Bendite. I just moved to Bend in July and have found people to be very friendly and much easier to "get in" with than other places I have lived. But you do have to make an effort. If you're not the outdoorsy type, what brought you to Bend? Can you do something with that? What about social opportunities with co-workers?

Another thing I have found is listings on Craiglist for activities. There are things posted from individuals, groups, etc. on social opportunities in Bend. Have you looked into these?

I am by nature a pretty shy person too (I'm only guessing this might be you). You really have to step out of your comfort zone in order to meet new people in a new town. Give it a try and hopefully you will be hanging out with a new group of friends in no time.

Hugshalo · 10-22-2008, 02:07 PM

I am shockingly not a shy person, but have just gotten out of my element. I moved to Bend purely for the job. Nothing to do with the fact that it is Bend. I had never even been to the Pacific Northwest. I unlike you, delta07 have not found the people in Bend to be as friendly, which is very strange for me. I am generally a person that people find easy to get along with. Overall, I have found a number of people to be on the rudely sarcastic level. I guess I am just not used to the Pacific Northwest nature of things. I have been all over this country and have found this to be one of the more difficult places. Thank you both for the suggestions. I will look into some of them.

Bendite · 10-22-2008, 05:44 PM

I'm sorry you are having that experience Hugshalo - rudeness and sarcasm haven't been my experience here, and its very much not PNW style. I hope it gets better for you soon

delta07 · 10-22-2008, 11:39 PM

I'm sorry that you are finding it difficult too. One place that I am really enjoying meeting new people is at Juniper Fitness. I just joined this gym and it's really great! I think Bend definately can come across as a little elitess, but you have to take that with a grain of salt. Any desirable, somewhat resort like community is always going to have that element to it.

I too am new to the PNW. I just moved here from CO. I don't think it's harder than CO, but I have heard from eastcoasters and midwesterns that the west is tough to break into. I'm not sure why that is.

Hugshalo · 10-23-2008, 01:38 PM

Yeah, I consider myself more of an eastcoaster, even though I wasn't born there, so I agree with them. Again I do appreciate your suggestions. I have been looking into a few of them.

Steve Miller · 10-23-2008, 03:18 PM

Ah, In our younger years we moved from Oregon for jobs. We landed in WY, TX and MO. Fit in well in WY and TX, cause folks reached out to us. MO was a disaster socially and I can empathize with you. We still call MO, Misery. If you contact me directly, we can discuss your age and areas of interest.

juliempdx · 10-23-2008, 03:53 PM

I was just reading through this forum and find it interesting how people from the east coast say it's hard to break in on the west and vice versa. I grew up in the Portland area and spent most of my summers in Bend. I just recently moved to Pittsburgh, PA and I'm having a hard time breaking in to the east. I think it all boils down to what you are use to. So far I have been going to Yoga classes and joined a group on meetup.com. I can identify with your situation hugshalo. It's hard to meet people when you move to a new area. Good luck to you!!

StealthRabbit · 10-23-2008, 04:32 PM

There is definately a PNW social difference, (Coming from CO and the prairie states myself + it is a subject of sociological study) but.... it is also becoming more of an issue as we (US / all) get more connected through less social ways... CD...facebook ... email... 2nd life

I had a friend from CO move to VT, and they experienced an issue of 'tough-to-break-in' too.

Generally the PNW is not rude, and is congenial, but not necessarily warm, outgoing, and interested in deep friendships. (tho they happen). I've been invited into other folks homes more times in a month in the midwest and Mtn states, than has happened in 26 yrs in the PNW. Potlucks and general community connections are rare in the PNW.

You mileage may vary