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Bit disappointed at the number of people who made statements to the effect that it was the bride and groom’s responsibility to feed and entertain the guest invited to the wedding. I’ve been to weddings in which some of those invited were asked if they could bring a particular family favorite food instead of a wedding gift. At one time the wedding gift tradition was to help a young couple to get started by giving them things for their home they didn’t already have. Today it’s become a dream wishlist. Many couples today are getting started in married life already having the items they need. A backyard wedding with family bringing food they prepared can be just fine with a bit of creative planning.
What you describe is not the same as expecting your INVITED GUESTS to purchase their food and drink at the reception.
What you describe is not the same as expecting your INVITED GUESTS to purchase their food and drink at the reception.
Right. Wording on wedding invitations is usually along the lines of "You are cordially invited to join us to celebrate..." As a guest, you should not be expected to pay your way into the celebration. Otherwise it reminds me of that line from the Music Man: "what the heck, you're welcome. join us at the picnic/you can eat your fill of all the food you bring yourself."
What you describe is not the same as expecting your INVITED GUESTS to purchase their food and drink at the reception.
Exactly. After watching the original interview with the bride, I gathered that the wedding guests were aware that there was to be no gratis reception after the ceremony (the bride stated that the guests were "on board" with the wedding plans).
As a guest, so long as I was made aware that there was to be no reception (or one in which I would be expected to foot the bill for my own meal and drinks), I wouldn't have a huge problem with it as I would be prepared by either remembering to put extra money/credit card in my party purse or eating before leaving for the wedding.
That being said, as a bride, I'd have rather had a simple buffet reception with punch, butter mints, mixed nuts, and cake (and a cookie table!) in the church basement than to have not offered my guests a meal or at least a light afternoon snack at all. No one's going to go into debt by choosing that route (after all, this was the standard reception for generations of working to middle class folks) but everyone ends up being fed and happy (except for the lushes who expect there to be alcohol served at a wedding reception, but that's another story entirely, lol...sigh).
Exactly. After watching the original interview with the bride, I gathered that the wedding guests were aware that there was to be no gratis reception after the ceremony (the bride stated that the guests were "on board" with the wedding plans).
As a guest, so long as I was made aware that there was to be no reception (or one in which I would be expected to foot the bill for my own meal and drinks), I wouldn't have a huge problem with it as I would be prepared by either remembering to put extra money/credit card in my party purse or eating before leaving for the wedding.
That being said, as a bride, I'd have rather had a simple buffet reception with punch, butter mints, mixed nuts, and cake (and a cookie table!) in the church basement than to have not offered my guests a meal or at least a light afternoon snack at all. No one's going to go into debt by choosing that route (after all, this was the standard reception for generations of working to middle class folks) but everyone ends up being fed and happy (except for the lushes who expect there to be alcohol served at a wedding reception, but that's another story entirely, lol...sigh).
You can get pre-made trays of cut up veggies and fruits, cheese and crackers, cold cuts, from grocery stores or Costco, that don't cost much at all. There are so many inexpensive options that don't put the burden on the guests so you can brag about how little it cost you personally.
At least in this situation the guests were made aware of the expense, but it's just so tacky, IMO, and nothing to boast about.
Very good news story. Had me standing from my chair saying “YES, good for them!” With careful planning a couple can have a very nice memorable wedding without spending a small fortune. Why start a marriage in debt to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars?
Making guests pay for anything at a wedding is tacky. Ugh
Making guests pay for anything at a wedding is tacky. Ugh
I agree.
I have a friend who got married while both of their finacials were on the weaker side, just out of university.
They went with a partner-registry at the court house. Then they began their professional lives etc, and a few years later they "re-married" with a bigger ceremony when they could afford it.
I don't think marriage has to be super expensive, I think it seems very stupid to go into debt over it.
But I also think the ceremony, reception etc is something one should do in a position when one can afford it without asking guests to pay.
I wonder if the bride had a shower? If she had a registry (common today), I wonder if she only selected inexpensive items.
My old boss said he and his wife went to the courthouse to get married and then they treated 8 or 10 guests to a
nice dinner at a fancy restaurant. They stayed married until he died.
Very good news story. Had me standing from my chair saying “YES, good for them!” With careful planning a couple can have a very nice memorable wedding without spending a small fortune. Why start a marriage in debt to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars?
There's much easier ways to do this.
In Fort Lauderdale, for example... lots of people simply get married on the beach, it's totally free, no reservation needed. People pay for parking which is like $5 bucks for most of the day. Just get someone with a pickup truck to drop off a boom box, and some folding chairs. You just pay for the priest or rabbi or whatever your flavor.
After the wedding, everyone goes across US-1 to the restaurant for the after-wedding party. The wedding bride/groom pay the bill.
Depending on how many guests, total cost anywhere from $500-$1,000.
Not everyone lives in Fort Lauderdale, obviously... but every town / city has a similar pretty location that's free... like a mountain range, an open pasture with flowers, whatever.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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That's more than what we spend on our wedding . . .in 1974.
My wife made her dress and all of the bridesmaid dresses, and the groomsmen shirts so that included the fabric cost. Her parents paid for the cake ($35), my boss at the time donated the champagne, my brother's band played the music, and the rented picnic space at a park in the Berkeley CA hills was just $25. My wife and I along with her mother and sister made all of the food the night before. My aunt took the pictures and video (8mm). We rented folding chairs and tables and in the morning I stapled paper plates to trees with arrows for the guests to find us.
The only issue I see is: Making their invited guests pay for their own food and drink. To me, that's not cool.
I went to a family wedding once, where we all brought a potluck meal, at a park, outside, on a windy, cold March day. It sucked all the way around. lol
I think that is ridiculous why should the guest pay for the food and drinks because they come to your weding to congratulate you not to pay your food.
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