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Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver
You're really talking about two separate things.
1) Destination Weddings are basically for narcissists. Hey, it's one thing if just the two of you want to stand on a hillside in Italy or a beach in the Caribbean with your beloved and say your vows. It's another thing entirely if you expect that your family and friends show up for the thing. It's expensive, it entails extra travel time, and you're essentially dictating to a entire group of people what their vacation is going to be for the year, versus just flying or driving somewhere and staying at a Hampton Inn for a couple of nights. Plus that kind of travel could impose a serious hardship to older family members. Anyone who has ever had to shepherd an 85-year-old through an airport will know exactly what I mean.
2) If you've been married once, you had your opportunity for the Blow It Out wedding ceremony. Hey, throw a party, but don't try to create the magic of your special day all over again, only with a different co-star.
Ita with #1....save the destination for the honeymoon.......but sometimes the bride or groom doesn’t live near family & so lots of people have to travel to the wedding anyways even when it’s local....
No...just no...to #2 tho. What if the wedding is a first for the groom ...or bride....& it’s only a second marriage for one of them? It’s not fair to deny that person a celebration.....A N D just because it’s a second marriage doesn’t mean no celebrating.....everyone getting married can throw a party & celebrate their love. It’s N O T meant to create the same magic & it’s not a movie with a “different costar”....it’s a celebration of love.
Ita with #1....save the destination for the honeymoon.......but sometimes the bride or groom doesn’t live near family & so lots of people have to travel to the wedding anyways even when it’s local....
No...just no...to #2 tho. What if the wedding is a first for the groom ...or bride....& it’s only a second marriage for one of them? It’s not fair to deny that person a celebration.....A N D just because it’s a second marriage doesn’t mean no celebrating.....everyone getting married can throw a party & celebrate their love. It’s N O T meant to create the same magic & it’s not a movie with a “different costar”....it’s a celebration of love.
Sometimes there really isn’t a “local” option. My sister lived in Asia and her husband lived in Europe when they got married. Needless to say, neither of those options was practical for anyone, so they chose a cruise out of Florida, which was somewhat local to the family members who lived in Florida. It was during the holiday season and actually more reasonably priced than hotels during that time. I had another friend who did a destination wedding in Mexico when she and her husband lived in Europe- again, still a cheaper option for most people than flying to Europe for the “local” option. I had another friend who did a destination wedding in Hawaii because both the bride and groom had relatives in China/Taiwan and it was a midpoint. There can be valid reasons for a destination wedding that are good.
1) Destination Weddings are basically for narcissists. Hey, it's one thing if just the two of you want to stand on a hillside in Italy or a beach in the Caribbean with your beloved and say your vows. It's another thing entirely if you expect that your family and friends show up for the thing. It's expensive, it entails extra travel time, and you're essentially dictating to a entire group of people what their vacation is going to be for the year, versus just flying or driving somewhere and staying at a Hampton Inn for a couple of nights. Plus that kind of travel could impose a serious hardship to older family members. Anyone who has ever had to shepherd an 85-year-old through an airport will know exactly what I mean.
2) If you've been married once, you had your opportunity for the Blow It Out wedding ceremony. Hey, throw a party, but don't try to create the magic of your special day all over again, only with a different co-star.
Well...#1 could be said about any kind of wedding...could it not?
If the bride and groom live in California, and you live in New York, and you get invited (and want to go, and are expected to go) it still involves travel time, booking hotels, transportation plans, etc.
The day after we came back from a vacation to New Orleans, my stepson comes over to tell us he and his GF were going to Florida for a destination wedding at the end of the week, and did we want to go.
"Sorry...we blew our vacation and money in New Orleans. Perhaps with more heads up, we could've worked the wedding in." Sigh.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,571,902 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by RamenAddict
Sometimes there really isn’t a “local” option. My sister lived in Asia and her husband lived in Europe when they got married. Needless to say, neither of those options was practical for anyone, so they chose a cruise out of Florida, which was somewhat local to the family members who lived in Florida. It was during the holiday season and actually more reasonably priced than hotels during that time. I had another friend who did a destination wedding in Mexico when she and her husband lived in Europe- again, still a cheaper option for most people than flying to Europe for the “local” option. I had another friend who did a destination wedding in Hawaii because both the bride and groom had relatives in China/Taiwan and it was a midpoint. There can be valid reasons for a destination wedding that are good.
Up to the 2 getting married to have it anywhere they want....but it’s sometimes hard for people to travel & get there....a bride & groom have to understand that.....
BUT....a 2nd wedding is still a reason to celebrate in any way the bride & groom want! These posts that call it delusional or say the couple can’t celebrate because 1 of them was married before.....are delusional themselves.....
I just attended a second wedding. It was between a widow and a widower who had been married to their respective spouses for about 40 years. It was a beautiful, local wedding. There were probably 75 guests and the bride and groom had their children, grandchildren & nieces as bridesmaids and flower girls/ring bearer. Yes, the bride wore a long white wedding dress (and looked gorgeous). Their love for each other was very apparent throughout the celebration. I bet that some people would have considered it "over the top", but, the beautiful wedding & reception, a nice dinner, open bar and a dance, but to me it seemed just right.
However, if they would have planned a destination wedding, I doubt if many of their friends (mostly in their 60s and 70s) would have attended and I bet that it would have really cut down on the amount of relatives who could attend.
Well...#1 could be said about any kind of wedding...could it not?
If the bride and groom live in California, and you live in New York, and you get invited (and want to go, and are expected to go) it still involves travel time, booking hotels, transportation plans, etc.
The day after we came back from a vacation to New Orleans, my stepson comes over to tell us he and his GF were going to Florida for a destination wedding at the end of the week, and did we want to go.
"Sorry...we blew our vacation and money in New Orleans. Perhaps with more heads up, we could've worked the wedding in." Sigh.
Not really, because the example you cite is understandable. If a couple decide to get married where they currently live or in the bride's hometown or wherever, there are practical reasons for doing so. And not everyone can live in the same place.
On the other hand, if you're just choosing a destination out of a hat, particularly one that's overseas, it's more about having the dramatic backdrop, rather than providing the occasion where two families can unite. It means the aesthetics of the occasion are far more important than its purpose. It's a bit narcissistic that way.
In my wife's family, there are one set of cousins who are always trying to one-up one another. Their get togethers are always obnoxious bragfests whether they basically talk non-stop about their jobs, their cars, and their trophy wives. The reality of it is these guys are almost all broke and can't keep a job, just like their skeevy dad.
So one of them recently got remarried and decided to have the wedding on some Greek island smack dab in the middle of the Aegean. Mind you, the mother is in her late 70s, and one of the brothers is having all kinds of financial hardship. But the couple was determined to have the wedding 4000 miles away. The plane trip just about killed my wife's aunt, and it caused considerable ill feelings among the brother and his family who couldn't afford the trip. To rub salt in the wound, there was the obligatory photo of the family after the wedding on some perfect beach with the calling out of the brother who couldn't attend.
Motivations are key here. Again, hey, if it's just you and your spouse-to-be, then bravo. If you expect people to show, then it's completely self-centered.
Last edited by MinivanDriver; 10-09-2019 at 08:35 AM..
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