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Old 02-11-2015, 05:13 PM
 
Location: The State Of California
10,400 posts, read 15,573,369 times
Reputation: 4283

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Valentine Month Top Ten List On How To Treat A Lady.......

Listed below is a top ten list on how to keep a woman satisfied and happy.....

1.Warm the car up on every cold and miserable morning letting her step into a warm car that's ready
to hit the road when her rump hits the seat.

2. Always keep the toilet seat down when you aren't urinating , and when you urinate place right foot on
right side of toilet......left foot on left side of toilet and aim water hose straight DOWN.

3. Be able and ready to always perform Ladies and Manly Man Jobs around the house , such as patching
A Hole in the Roof during a Lighting/Thunder Storm and washing a sink full of Dishes.

4. If you are 6' 2" tall and have a water hose like mine that causes water to splash up out of the toilet
bowl when you urinate , always pull 6' 2" toilet paper off roll, ball up, pour rubbing alcohol on it, then
use your feet to clean all around toilet stood for a wonderful smelling bathroom.

5.If you want to Make Love to your Soul Mate/Wife and she's has a Headache , be bored stiff by giving her
A 40 to 60 Minutes Massage , then claim your most wonderful prize from her.

6. Oop's Daisey I Forgot the rest , maybe I will remember before Valentine Day......

7.
Oop's Daisey I Forgot the rest , maybe I will remember before Valentine Day......

8.
Oop's Daisey I Forgot the rest , maybe I will remember before Valentine Day......

9.
Oop's Daisey I Forgot the rest , maybe I will remember before Valentine Day......

10. See You Then........FOMC.......Falling Out Of My Chair......LOL

How Valentine's Day Works - HowStuffWorks

My Two Top Love Songs
Luther Vandross.....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2-P...-cfn5iaJ2k9Bz-

Peabo Bryson.....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17jhdqUlM0k

Last edited by Howest2008; 02-11-2015 at 05:39 PM..
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Old 02-11-2015, 06:17 PM
 
1,812 posts, read 2,222,203 times
Reputation: 2466
No one wants to hear about your hose. Stop it.
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Old 02-14-2015, 08:57 AM
 
Location: Jenks, Oklahoma
620 posts, read 1,751,381 times
Reputation: 533
Valentine Month Top Ten List On How To Treat A Lady......

Inappropriate thread for the Tulsa C-D forum.
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Old 02-14-2015, 04:13 PM
 
Location: The State Of California
10,400 posts, read 15,573,369 times
Reputation: 4283
Valentine Day Eve Went to trader joe's and brought some chocolates and later discovered that Safeway also had the Trader Joe's brand of Chocolates which cost the same amount to purchase.Normal people would think that the Chocolates would cost twice as much from Trader Joe's Stores.....

Continuation of top ten list

6. Always tell your wife after a augument than I'm not wrong , (but) I apologize for us having this hot and heated augement , so lets bury the hacket.

7. Make sure not to give your kids and grandkids a inappropriate NDN name like I did with mines " Raises By wolves " that will surely make your wife as mad as a hornet from a hornet nest with an arrow sticking all the way through it.

8. Always treat your Mother-In-Law like a Queen and not A Monster-In-Law.....

9. When your wife has a throbbing headache and you don't feel like Massaging Her for 40 to 60 Minutes then Making Love To Her , go to the store and buy her some TYLENOL Pain Releiver and call it a day.

10. I'm still thinking about that tenth principal of wisdom to drop on you folks out in OKLAHOMA.
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Old 02-18-2015, 05:01 PM
 
34,254 posts, read 20,529,748 times
Reputation: 36245
Quote:
Originally Posted by Howest2008 View Post
Valentine Day Eve Went to trader joe's and brought some chocolates and later discovered that Safeway also had the Trader Joe's brand of Chocolates which cost the same amount to purchase.Normal people would think that the Chocolates would cost twice as much from Trader Joe's Stores.....

Continuation of top ten list


7. Make sure not to give your kids and grandkids a inappropriate NDN name like I did with mines " Raises By wolves " that will surely make your wife as mad as a hornet from a hornet nest with an arrow sticking all the way through it.

LOL. I second that emotion.


Did someone say chocolates?



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Old 02-19-2015, 12:57 AM
 
Location: The State Of California
10,400 posts, read 15,573,369 times
Reputation: 4283


Now I got to run to the store and buy another 50 Pounds Bag of Dog Food........LOL
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Old 02-20-2015, 08:59 AM
 
34,254 posts, read 20,529,748 times
Reputation: 36245
Still waiting on number 10!

Your #9 was pretty funny too. If she has a headache, you better get out of the house quick! And don't be fantasizing about any love making. It's not going to happen. Headache means go away!
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Old 02-20-2015, 09:00 PM
 
Location: OKIE-Ville
5,546 posts, read 9,499,375 times
Reputation: 3309
Funny stuff Howest!

But, in a very rare occurrence I have to side with the Swakester on this one: nobody needs to hear about your hose, or lack thereof. :-)
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Old 02-20-2015, 09:04 PM
 
Location: OKIE-Ville
5,546 posts, read 9,499,375 times
Reputation: 3309
Quote:
Originally Posted by _redbird_ View Post
Still waiting on number 10!

Your #9 was pretty funny too. If she has a headache, you better get out of the house quick! And don't be fantasizing about any love making. It's not going to happen. Headache means go away!
I usually just tap the wife on the shoulder until she gives in. It can go two ways: 1) elbow to the face (worth the risk) or 2) desired result.
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Old 02-21-2015, 05:47 PM
 
Location: The State Of California
10,400 posts, read 15,573,369 times
Reputation: 4283
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bass&Catfish2008 View Post
Funny stuff Howest!

But, in a very rare occurrence I have to side with the Swakester on this one: nobody needs to hear about your hose, or lack thereof. :-)
Yeah it was over the line , but I wasn't talking about my Fire Hose......that would've been sexual....
Water Hose is just Urinating ( still TMI ) Tooooo Much Information!!!!!
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