Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have been married for many years and thought I knew my wife fairly well but she surprised me today with the Female mindset.
I was heading out to do some errands which usually means a quick run to the beach for a look at the scenery, water, wildlife.
I asked my wife, would you like to go, she said no, but as I was packing up she came out with the dog and said she would like to go. Okay great, she hopped in and off we went.
We did the errands and then stopped at the beach and walked around for about 15 minutes.
When we got home she split hairs with her question.
Why didn't you say that you wanted me to come with you? I said, well I asked you if you wanted to come along. I thought that was enough to convey that she is welcome to come?
I just think it is really odd. I don't think she was upset or anything but she wanted me to say "I want you to come with me" Vs "would you like to come along".
Is this an example of the Female mindset? I see, I want you to come and would you like to come as being close to the same thing. One I tell her I want her to come and the other she has the option. I see it that I am not putting pressure on her one way or the other, she can either say yes or no and either answer is fine. We are only talking errands here and if she hadn't come along I would have swung into the beach parking lot, sat in my truck for 2 minutes taking in the view and then left.
She may have had a difficult day. You may have just asked in passing by. How about - I have to run an errand and we can get a cup of coffee/bring a cup of coffee and enjoy the beach before the tourist hordes do?
This is the perfect thread to post this video on the female mindset... imagine as a man getting attention for simply existing... the video just came out 4 hours ago and is titled "why being famous is like being a woman" and basically as this guy's youtube subscriber count goes up he came to this understanding as he now gets approached in public by "fans" something that never happened before as men are functionally invisible unless they earn their status and value. Women in the west (and in general) get this attention for simply being born. One of those unfair truths about evolution and biology... women are born with value, men have to earn their value, at least at this point in the west's cultural development. It's something that can help both genders (or whatever gender you are) understand each other better, and maybe even their own behavior.
I have been married for many years and thought I knew my wife fairly well but she surprised me today with the Female mindset.
I was heading out to do some errands which usually means a quick run to the beach for a look at the scenery, water, wildlife.
I asked my wife, would you like to go, she said no, but as I was packing up she came out with the dog and said she would like to go. Okay great, she hopped in and off we went.
We did the errands and then stopped at the beach and walked around for about 15 minutes.
When we got home she split hairs with her question.
Why didn't you say that you wanted me to come with you? I said, well I asked you if you wanted to come along. I thought that was enough to convey that she is welcome to come?
I just think it is really odd. I don't think she was upset or anything but she wanted me to say "I want you to come with me" Vs "would you like to come along".
Is this an example of the Female mindset? I see, I want you to come and would you like to come as being close to the same thing. One I tell her I want her to come and the other she has the option. I see it that I am not putting pressure on her one way or the other, she can either say yes or no and either answer is fine. We are only talking errands here and if she hadn't come along I would have swung into the beach parking lot, sat in my truck for 2 minutes taking in the view and then left.
The Female mind is a thing of mystery.
The femail mind set is as normal as anything. Men have a particular "mind set" all the time. You sound like you are on the defensive end, as in you did nothing to provoke any thoughts in your wife's mind. It isn't "women" or their mindset that comes in to play here. It's "marriage". It is between you and her and your normal day to day life. Your demeanor, your actions, her reactions. She may be a little insecure in your feelings for her. But don't put the blame on "women" for something strange that your wife said.
I have been married for many years and thought I knew my wife fairly well but she surprised me today with the Female mindset.
I was heading out to do some errands which usually means a quick run to the beach for a look at the scenery, water, wildlife.
I asked my wife, would you like to go, she said no, but as I was packing up she came out with the dog and said she would like to go. Okay great, she hopped in and off we went.
We did the errands and then stopped at the beach and walked around for about 15 minutes.
When we got home she split hairs with her question.
Why didn't you say that you wanted me to come with you? I said, well I asked you if you wanted to come along. I thought that was enough to convey that she is welcome to come?
I just think it is really odd. I don't think she was upset or anything but she wanted me to say "I want you to come with me" Vs "would you like to come along".
Is this an example of the Female mindset? I see, I want you to come and would you like to come as being close to the same thing. One I tell her I want her to come and the other she has the option. I see it that I am not putting pressure on her one way or the other, she can either say yes or no and either answer is fine. We are only talking errands here and if she hadn't come along I would have swung into the beach parking lot, sat in my truck for 2 minutes taking in the view and then left.
The Female mind is a thing of mystery.
I think the one who is splitting hairs is you. Everything is OK. Nothing sounds odd. No one is upset. Why dwell on it?
As a woman I would prefer being asked if I would like to come along rather than have someone say Id like you to come along. That way if I do not really want to go I won't feel like I am disappointing whoever is asking.
As a woman I would prefer being asked if I would like to come along rather than have someone say Id like you to come along. That way if I do not really want to go I won't feel like I am disappointing whoever is asking.
Yes that is what I am talking about. I think by saying, would you like to come along it is giving her an easy out to say no. One of the errands was a trip to the dump. I feel that if I said to her, I'd like you to come then she is going to feel more obliged to drop what she is doing and come along.
I guess as another poster suggested, I could be splitting hairs but I think the way I asked her was a gentler way that did give her an easy out Vs her having to make a decision and then having to tell me no.
Either way was fine with me. I was not offended and I'm glad that she came along because it was a nice day and we did end up walking on the beach.
I have seen this terrific poster of railroad tracks describing how women and men think. It suggested that the man thinks in a straight track. The tracks representing how woman think were heading into a complicated train yard with tracks crossing and splitting all over the place.
It is funny how men think and how women think and how different it can be.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 26 days ago)
35,751 posts, read 18,091,770 times
Reputation: 50812
I don't know that this is the "female mindset", rather, she wants to feel wanted. Not like, you don't care at all one way or the other whether she was there or not.
Which is fine for some things, but a nice walk on the beach, she probably wanted to feel wanted and not just along for the ride.
And that's not a "female" thing. That's a human thing.
I have been married for many years and thought I knew my wife fairly well but she surprised me today with the Female mindset.
I was heading out to do some errands which usually means a quick run to the beach for a look at the scenery, water, wildlife.
I asked my wife, would you like to go, she said no, but as I was packing up she came out with the dog and said she would like to go. Okay great, she hopped in and off we went.
We did the errands and then stopped at the beach and walked around for about 15 minutes.
When we got home she split hairs with her question.
Why didn't you say that you wanted me to come with you? I said, well I asked you if you wanted to come along. I thought that was enough to convey that she is welcome to come?
I just think it is really odd. I don't think she was upset or anything but she wanted me to say "I want you to come with me" Vs "would you like to come along".
Is this an example of the Female mindset? I see, I want you to come and would you like to come as being close to the same thing. One I tell her I want her to come and the other she has the option. I see it that I am not putting pressure on her one way or the other, she can either say yes or no and either answer is fine. We are only talking errands here and if she hadn't come along I would have swung into the beach parking lot, sat in my truck for 2 minutes taking in the view and then left.
The Female mind is a thing of mystery.
You state she wasn’t ’upset or anything’; as such, it would appear you’re the one making an issue of it. That said, how does sitting in the ‘beach parking lot for two minutes’ in between errands equate to enjoying the scenery? Go for a real walk on or around the beach; the point is to enjoy your time (alone or together) rather than nitpick.
That said, I can’t imagine how complaining about the ‘female mindset’ relative to your wife is beneficial, lol.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
