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I've tried OK Cupid a few times over the years. It's not OK! "Met" some of the squirreliest women there. Usually it stops, for me anyway, before anything even starts, and the times its gone past the initial coffee get together, it hasn't worked out any better. I hate to use this phrase, but low quality people is how I would sum it up. People who don't have healthy relationships w/ others.
Would it be different if it were a pay site? I don't mind that, but a lot of people complain of it being almost impossible to end their membership and the monthly fees.
None of the dating sites are worth the issues you will eventually get. It would make sense to me that if a person is a paying member, they are more serious in their search for a partner. However, you are very correct in thinking the people are not so much "low quality", but yes, ones with relationship issues AND are very soon out of a long marriage or relationship. The dating sites should be called "rebound" sites. You might find a good transitional person to get you through your turmoil, but once you heal from what caused you to get on the site in the first place, you won't be interested in them anymore.
It's like being married 35 years. Your wife leaves you. You are lonely and desparate, your heart is hurting, you're flip flopping around like a fish out of water. Then you get on a site and you get to talk to some women and things don't hurt quite so bad. You date a little and nothing ever works out, but at least you had company for dinner. Trying for more at that time is inviting people in to your chaos. HEAL before you put yourself on the market or nothing will ever work out for you.
OkCupid is a great model, but it's not the app. Everyone is at least a little bit crazy lol.
If you have the money, might be worth considering a matchmaker. Most or all of the cheaper ones seem to be lacking. I think you need like 10k+ hanging around for free.
Also, you could consider paying something online, but pick something where you can pay in full and it's clear that you're only signing up for a limited period of time where the privileges end. If you have something that is more loosely defined with only a monthly fee, your concerns of difficulty canceling could certainly be much more valid.
Another thing you can consider is speed dating. You pay and you know what you get.
I met my wife on POF. When I was single, my order of preference was POF, Hinge, Facebook Dating, Bumble/Tinder, OkCupid. I preferred to express interest with a short message over swipe-and-match apps where the algorithm can limit your options. But I had at least one quality date from all of them. (No luck at all with Coffee Meets Bagels, though.)
I already gave up to find a normal person online, so I prefer just to go with the flow. At the moment I am just meeting people for casual fun, but you never know where it can lead afterwards. As an example I was using chat.casual-date. me to find a friend with benefits. I found a girl, who wasn't ready for any relationships, but she still wanted intimacy. We agreed that we are going to meet once in a week and stay just friends. But we felt so comfortable with each other that after a few months we started dating.
I already gave up to find a normal person online, so I prefer just to go with the flow. At the moment I am just meeting people for casual fun, but you never know where it can lead afterwards. As an example I was using chat.casual-date. me to find a friend with benefits. I found a girl, who wasn't ready for any relationships, but she still wanted intimacy. We agreed that we are going to meet once in a week and stay just friends. But we felt so comfortable with each other that after a few months we started dating.
Great first post!
...And, from a thread that is from this century!
Well done!
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