What's it mean when a guy says I'll never get married but down the road ends up married to someone else not you? (woman, love)
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I think it's an easy way to spare your feelings by essentially saying you're not the only one he won't marry. That way you might not feel as bad since you are one of a group.
1. People change their minds.
2. They haven't found someone they want to marry, and assume that means they'll never find someone they want to marry?
3. It's a way of deflecting conversations they don't want to have.
People don't have to behave exactly the same way in all their relationship or have all the same feelings. Sometimes you realize you're not open to certain things with one partner, or that the relationship just isn't at that point where you feel comfortable doing it, whether it's moving in together or getting married. Your circumstances, feelings and outlook on relationships can change.
This happened to me 5 years ago and I will spare the details, but if I could just spare another woman out there from this kind of heartache--
Happily married now, but still and yet, just curious--
WHY DO guys do this to women? They will date you and tell you they never plan on getting married, or re-married, later on one of you decides to end it. Then a year later you find out he got married or remarried, after all that talk!
Oh and I have read the book "He's Just Not That Into You" and will admit this--My current hubby's behavior during courtship was NOTHING like my ex's (the one who told me ad infinitum, "i ain't never getting married again" and then two years later down the road, he's RE-MARRIED!)
Thanks
You know how much I hate that this happened to you
And not to defend the guy who did it, but I just wanted to say that when I've seen this happen it really was as much a surprise to the guy himself as much as everyone else when he did get married.
See, I really think when a guy tells a woman this he means it at the time he says it.
What he doesn't realize is, when "the one" comes in to his life (if she ever does) all bets are off, so to speak.
Some men just can't see themselves ever wanting to be married, but when the right woman comes along it's all they can do to get to the alter, lol.
All it really means is, you weren't "the one" for him - but that DOES NOT mean there was a thing wrong with you or that you did anything wrong.
People take rejection like this so personally - and I know it's hard not to - but most of the time there was really nothing you could have done - the chemistry just was not there, that's all
Is this guy not entitled to change his mind?? When I was dating my husband he told me he was never getting married. Guess who has been married for almost 16 years? Guess who was the one who actually brought up marriage?
I don't invest much into what those books have to say so I don't compare them to anyone. Obviously your ex and your current husband are completely different people.
Imo, I think you're still a bit hung up on your ex, otherwise I don't see why it would matter to you if you now have Mr. Right.
There could be many reasons for this. Some people truly never want to marry so they are honest upfront. However I suspect these are a minority as most people I know married, including the "never marrying" ones. I have had this happen to me and did it to others and it's mostly either because of timing or I wasn't in love with the person. I had several men propose to me and I said I'm never marrying because I didn't want them.
Btw, I despise that book as I think the advice is often wrong.
You know how much I hate that this happened to you
And not to defend the guy who did it, but I just wanted to say that when I've seen this happen it really was as much a surprise to the guy himself as much as everyone else when he did get married.
See, I really think when a guy tells a woman this he means it at the time he says it.
What he doesn't realize is, when "the one" comes in to his life (if she ever does) all bets are off, so to speak.
Some men just can't see themselves ever wanting to be married, but when the right woman comes along it's all they can do to get to the alter, lol.
All it really means is, you weren't "the one" for him - but that DOES NOT mean there was a thing wrong with you or that you did anything wrong.
People take rejection like this so personally - and I know it's hard not to - but most of the time there was really nothing you could have done - the chemistry just was not there, that's all
And to be fair as a guy, I can guarantee that some of us say this because we are not really into you. But whether he genuinely changed his mind or he wasn't into you, the result is the same, you aint marrying this guy.
I'm glad I am not married to this guy now--looking back--but woulnd't it be nice if er could get the message out to all single and dating women out there so they can be sparred a rough breakup?
I've seen this happen a lot, and not only at the marriage level but the relationship level as well. I've been told sooo many times by men that they were only interested in 'casual' dating or 'being friends first and seeing where it goes' and then BOOM they're in a relationship very soon after with another woman.
It just means they weren't into you and didn't consider you good enough for them. Fairly straightforward.
I'm glad I am not married to this guy now--looking back--but woulnd't it be nice if er could get the message out to all single and dating women out there so they can be sparred a rough breakup?
I don't know honey, how would that really work?
I mean, what "message" would you really want to get out? "John Smith says he is NEVER going to marry - date at your own risk if marriage is important to you!"
Well, really, if we would just all learn to believe folks when they tell us who they are, we'd all be better off
What do you care, OP? You're already married. My husband had a kid with his ex, he doesn't have a relationship with his 1 and only son.
Angelinajolie, is that you?
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