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At 31 ,my husband and I owned a home and had 2 kids and jobs. This person is lost. Running back home is really a scapegoat. Running from reality and responsibility.
The girl needs to get a trade. She may hate school but she will not get anywhere in life without showing the world she is willing to put in the hard work. Otherwise it will be the dead-end jobs forever.
With my (and other family members assistance), she moved back home from across the country. It has been a month. We have paid for the shipping of her items, gas, phone, car note, insurance, etc. She has been looking for work but nothing has panned out as of yet. Lots of interviews but no job. I feel this is largely because she does not have a college degree or certification. Her jobs have been in the service and hospitality industry. During our talks, she said she has no intention of pursuing an education at this time because she does not want to deal with student loans. But I think her anxiety around school is due to her not being a good student - she barely made it out of high school.
She has convinced herself that she has a learning deficit (ADHD) and that further education would be a waste of time, money, and energy. Conversations with her include tears, attitude, and frustration. When I ask her about her passions, and interests - things that she loves to do, she says she doesn't know. I feel like I'm talking to a 12-year-old at times. She has everything going for her - a great support system, attractive, good personality but her self-confidence is lacking and it is holding her back.
Before she moved back home she'd go weeks without talking to me if my conversations turned to more serious topics like life choices, financial planning, and her long-term goals and I don't want that to happen again.
We live in a major metropolitan city with lots of jobs and a great public transportation system. There are a lot of opportunities here.
I fully realize that whatever she does is ultimately her choice but I want to help her in ways other than paying her bills.
*sigh* not looking for advice - just needed to vent.
At 31 ,my husband and I owned a home and had 2 kids and jobs. This person is lost. Running back home is really a scapegoat. Running from reality and responsibility.
The girl needs to get a trade. She may hate school but she will not get anywhere in life without showing the world she is willing to put in the hard work. Otherwise it will be the dead-end jobs forever.
So did I, but I'm not under any delusions that my 30-something kids are living in the same world I did when I was their age. They have always had jobs but one will probably be a forever renter and the other is living with me, saving his money, and decided where he'll have to move to afford something. Most of their peers are in the same boat and multigenerational living is popular now. I agree with your about everything else though.
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