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Over the years I've had to start ignoring some neighbors, family members and coworkers. (Although, in the case of coworkers, I'll still be polite and communicate to get the job done.) This approach works for me.
Sometimes it's been a build-up over time of negative interactions, other times it's one major incident.
I've usually had to take the ignoring approach with people who more often than not have something smart*ss to say.
Do you put people on ignore?
If you do, what does it take for you to take that approach?
Absolutely! Life's too short to deal with negativity all the time, and sometimes ignoring people is the best course of action. Just like you, I tend to reserve it for those who consistently bring negativity or drama to the table.
There was this one family member who always seemed to find something to criticize, no matter what I did. Holidays were particularly stressful because of their negativity. Finally, I realized that my mental health was more important, and I started politely excusing myself from conversations or avoiding situations where I knew they'd be.
Of course, with coworkers, it's a different dynamic. You can't exactly ignore them completely. But you can definitely limit your interactions and keep things professional. Like you said, being polite and getting the job done is key.
I think the key to ignoring someone effectively is to be clear and consistent. Don't engage with their negativity, and don't feel obligated to explain yourself. If they try to pull you back in, a simple "Excuse me, I'm busy right now" or a polite nod and walk away can work wonders.
It's important to remember that ignoring someone isn't about being mean, it's about protecting your own energy. There are plenty of positive people in the world, so focus on building relationships with them instead!
You're talking about two separate issues: Low contact with family or friends who bug you and actually putting someone online on "ignore" because you don't want to read their posts.
I have done the former to attempt to live in peace, but I have never done the latter because I have a belief that all voices are needed in any serious conversation (and I'm not negatively affected by online opinions). Even when I'm maligned and/or "attacked" online, I would not put the maligner/attacker on ignore - I think it's childish to do so. I don't hide my head in the sand. I like to know what's going on.
I would text her to check on her (she has medical issues) and she wouldn't respond. We would be in the middle of a text conversation and she would just stop responding leaving me hanging. Then respond over a week later saying she forgot to press send.
There's a backstory of how we didn't talk for 8 years and reconnected again. Then this starts happening. There's a reason why I cut her off years ago.
less and less every day. I no longer rush to help family, who never help themselves. I've known for many years I am on my own when it comes to family and I'm good with that. The Piggy bank closed and so did the lines of communication. With friends too. I haven't spoken to a long time friend since November when I told her she needed to grow up and handle her responsibilities herself. She got herself into the mess she's in by herself and no one is going to swoop in and save her. She knows she's a hoarder but refuses to do anything about it. Refuses offers of help. I told her, when she falls and can't get up (and she will, she's slid down the stairs a couple of times- unhurt) when the Fire Department has to come in and rescue her, she'll be put under the eye of Senior Services and they'll visit frequently to make sure she's cleaning up. Or they'll determine she can't live on her own and she'll be forced to move in with one of her kids or a facility. she's seen this happen to 3 friends and knows it.
I don't want to listen to others self-caused problems as they expect others to take care of them.
My birthday was yesterday and she text me. I didn't respond. I haven't responded the last 5 times before this so I hope she gets the message that I'm done!
My birthday was yesterday and she text me. I didn't respond. I haven't responded the last 5 times before this so I hope she gets the message that I'm done!
Over the years I've had to start ignoring some neighbors, family members and coworkers. (Although, in the case of coworkers, I'll still be polite and communicate to get the job done.) This approach works for me.
Sometimes it's been a build-up over time of negative interactions, other times it's one major incident.
I've usually had to take the ignoring approach with people who more often than not have something smart*ss to say.
Do you put people on ignore?
If you do, what does it take for you to take that approach?
I don’t ignore folks (outside of a forum or relative to online nonsense), although there are certainly persons I will avoid or cut short the conversation. That said, ignore vs. avoid are two very different things; depending on context, ignoring people (especially friends, neighbors, family members and coworkers per your post) can be a power trip/manipulative tactic as a means to control the other person and trivialize their words/perspective. The exception, of course, is if you’re being stalked or harassed (in which case you’d want to take note and document such anyway).
In other words, I can’t imagine why you’d need/want to ignore so many folks ‘over the years’.
You're talking about two separate issues: Low contact with family or friends who bug you and actually putting someone online on "ignore" because you don't want to read their posts.
I have done the former to attempt to live in peace, but I have never done the latter because I have a belief that all voices are needed in any serious conversation (and I'm not negatively affected by online opinions). Even when I'm maligned and/or "attacked" online, I would not put the maligner/attacker on ignore - I think it's childish to do so. I don't hide my head in the sand. I like to know what's going on.
Yes, definitely two separate issues. As for online, I ignore NPCs (non-player characters). What are those? Those who fail to have an original thought. Ones who regurgitate the most obvious things.
Separately, also I ignore those (of any political/cultural persuasion) who think "their news" is the correct one. In reality, all the political/cultural type news is fake (or at the very least, all sources leave out important context). If they can describe the strongest arguments of both sides of a contentious issue, that is someone I want to listen to, especially if I disagree with the position they chose as the best one.
Seek out credible people, and mute the NPCs. You will be both happier and better informed.
I usually don't put people on ignore. What I return is silence during an interaction especially if I have made my position clear, or give a simple "no." Some have put me on ignore as a result.
The key thing is to remember why you put somebody on ignore. If you forget, then your boundary wasn't all that important or well-defined.
If you do, what does it take for you to take that approach?
They have to be breathing.
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