Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
What exactly is "text before calling"..... it's a warning that you are about to receive a phone call. I thought the ringing was that warning. Not sure about everyone else, but when my phone rings something in my brain snaps that there's a call on the way.
Well, except for the first day after I change my ringtone. Then my brain says, "What the hell is that?"
What exactly is "text before calling"..... it's a warning that you are about to receive a phone call. I thought the ringing was that warning. Not sure about everyone else, but when my phone rings something in my brain snaps that there's a call on the way.
So I often text my sister before I call "you busy" because she is often busy at home, canning or quilting or she is outside doing stuff and dosen't carry her phone up her butt. This way if she is not busy she will text or call me. If she does not respond I know she is busy and will try later or when she checks her phone she will respond. Yes I could call and let it go to voicemail hoping her mail box is not full and possibly making her stop what she is doing to rush to her phone.
She will often text me first also, especially if I am at work. Sometimes I am busy and sometimes I am not.
Good article. Maybe the OP should send that to her daughter.
I sympathize with the author somewhat. Not near as bad but my grandson and I still text quite often. He is going on 22 and I raised him since he was 12. He also lives with me at least part of the time when he is not staying with his gf or his buddy. He will text me if he is not coming home or going to be late or randomly to tell me about something exciting in his day or news, but it is short and sweet. I enjoy getting those. Yesterday he text me a photo he took of an eagle he saw while working.
It is sweet, and to me that's what "normal" communication looks like. It's not all day and night, at all hours, or expressly against your wishes for communication.
Yes I get that. I mean if I am going to answer it. Just as one would stop what they are doing to answer their door, if they chose to answer it. I was comparing the two.
I very often do not answer my phone, not at work unless its my grand, not when I am in a business, or conversing with someone or when I am busy and sometimes not if I dont want to talk to the caller, thats what caller ID is for.
***************
isn't that the greatest, especially when your watching TV and a name comes up that you don't want to talk to, le' machine, do your thing
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kimmie
Bit of a back story here. 21-year-old daughter (in college 100 miles away) and I are close, and I am going through a very hard time personally and physically right now. She knows. I explained to her that I love to talk with her, but need to be in a comfortable spot first (mentally and physically). Hard to describe autoimmune brain fog, but I am telling the truth. I ask that she please just text first. If the phone rings without a text I will assume it is an emergency and always answer.
She keeps breaching this. I need this boundary right now for the sake of my own sanity and health. I have explained to no avail. We text all of the time, I just saw her a few days ago, and often when she calls it is just her going on and on about things such as what she ate for breakfast... Each time I answer without a text first, my heart is in my chest because it just has to be an emergency because no text first, right? WRONG. So often now, I do notanswer. I will text back right away and ask if all is well, and it always is.
Tonight she called at almost 11 pm just as we were getting in from our son's ball game. Seeing the time, I definitely answered, wanting to know what was wrong. Almost 11 pm, mind you. She says nothing is wrong just wanted to chat. She already called her Dad today and talked, plus we have texted today. I asked her if it wasn't urgent, could it wait til tomorrow? I am tired, it is late, etc. She acted offended and got off the phone. I have never been a cold person and resent that I am being treated as if I am. My feeling is that they are not used to me having boundaries. I try to explain them very carefully first, and I only have a few, but I need to take care of myself right now. There is enough of me to go around if I conserve my energy, but just not "on demand." Am I in the wrong here?
I personally see nothing wrong with what you did. As a manager who works on a job that requires communication skills, I find a text before a call the most respectful thing you can do to respect someone’s schedule. If I don’t get a text back saying it’s ok to ring them, no biggie, it can wait.
People who want to get in touch with either my husband or me have to reach us by landline phone, which means a phone call, not a text. They can leave a message on our answering machine if we don't pick up the phone. The few people I call to chat with have the same setup, even if it's via a smartphone. There's no need to pick up right away or to be disturbed by a voice phone call.
Where in the world do you get that idea? Go back and read the OP.
Per the OP. She and her daughter talk all the time, text all the time. The daughter regularly calls randomly to chat, throughout the day, late at night. The daughter expects her mother to answer and chat about what they had for breakfast, etc. on demand. The OP set boundaries, please text before you call. Part of the reason for this was there were times when she suffered symptoms of her disease she described as autoimmune brain fog.
She does not fear phone calls. She explained to her D that although she wants her to text before calling to chat she will answer the phone if it is an emergency. The daughter ignored her request and continued to call without texting. Since the OP said "I will answer if it is an emergency" when the phone rang she thought it was an emergency. IMO that is logical. Until the daughter continued to call just to chat. At that time she stopped answering the phone, util it rang at 11pm and she thought this late it must be an emergency. Surly she wouldn't call at 11pm just to chat so she answered. She told her D that she was tired and did not want to chat and her D got miffed at her.
How in the world you read that as her having a fear of phones is beyond me.
How is setting boundaries a bad thing? I set a boundary with my DL "DONT CALL ME BEFORE 8AM ON SATURDAY AND SUNDAY" because I wanted to sleep in not chat with her about what she was going to wear that day or cook for breakfast.
I probably got caught up in a spin off of the original post. Not only that, but when I read the OP's first post, I perceived it different than you. Other people read it as I did, and I got caught up in a post that changed subject I guess. I'm not on here to be mean but others felt like I did. No need to bash me either.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
