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I’m a 66 y.o. single woman and I’ve noticed an increasing discomfort when I’m out and about and I feel like avoiding many public spaces filled with strangers. I work part time and go to the Senior Center and I am comfortable in both places for the most part. But I can imagine becoming a recluse at some point because I don’t feel that comfortable in the world anymore. I used to live in a city and go far and wide on the buses and felt pretty comfortable so I don’t know what’s wrong with me now or if it’s part of getting older. The outside world appeals less and less to me and I often feel irritated by people around me - loud cell phone talking, parents letting kids run wild etc. I’m curious if anyone else feels this way and if so how they deal with it.
IME the inclinations/preferences we might have in our earlier years tend to get magnified with age.
Add to that if you are dealing with newer physical limitations that can make you feel more vulnerable or less risk tolerant.
Well I’ve always been someone who doesn’t really like crowds or that much noise. It just seems to bother me more now. I feel more alienated from the people and life that I see around me. I don’t have any real physical limitations at this point and I don’t feel unsafe. But I do feel increasingly intolerant which isn’t pleasant. I suppose I notice things more because I’m usually alone. Also I moved back to the area where I grew up and I thought I would feel more at home here but it doesn’t feel the way it used to because it’s changed as I guess everything does.
I remember my mother having a touch of agoraphobia when she was about my age so maybe it’s something like that...I think as we get older the world doesn’t feel as comfortable because it doesn’t feel like “my world” anymore. But I can understand becoming reclusive.
Our faculties get old,hearing,seeing,feeling,eating!
It is part of aging.
Undoubtedly but I don’t think that quite explains what’s going on with me. But maybe the changes with aging make me feel less comfortable in the world and more vulnerable. But I suppose I have often felt alienated but when I was younger it didn’t feel as bad because I had family and more people around.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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For my wife and I, it's not being around other people, it's no longer having the patience to deal with waiting for a table, in a line at an event. No more concerts, or even movies for that reason. If we go to a restaurant and there is a line at the door we move on to another. This is why so many of us older folks go out to dinner at 4:30-5:00.
OP
I'm close to your age and public spaces don't beckon me much. Perhaps because my house and garden are enjoyable, also because Covid made us much more aware that strangers could be dangerous to our health. I caught Covid from the hearing aid tech at Costco, they called to tell me about my possible exposure and by that time I and my husband were feeling ill and went immediately to get tested.
Cost-benefit analysis tells me there are fewer benefits to public places for me. My spouse, slightly older, however needs more social contact than I do so he's been doing more grocery shopping and he's more virus-avoidant than me.
We didn't like movie theatres before Covid. Am trying to think of something I really miss of a public nature and it's a blank.
I’m a 66 y.o. single woman and I’ve noticed an increasing discomfort when I’m out and about and I feel like avoiding many public spaces filled with strangers. I work part time and go to the Senior Center and I am comfortable in both places for the most part. But I can imagine becoming a recluse at some point because I don’t feel that comfortable in the world anymore. I used to live in a city and go far and wide on the buses and felt pretty comfortable so I don’t know what’s wrong with me now or if it’s part of getting older. The outside world appeals less and less to me and I often feel irritated by people around me - loud cell phone talking, parents letting kids run wild etc. I’m curious if anyone else feels this way and if so how they deal with it.
Well, the world has changed since you lived in a city and ranged far and wide on transit. For most of your life,cell phones didn't exist,and very few,if any, parents let their kids run wild in stores, restaurants, crowded, busy sidewalks, etc. Sometimes, irritation over trivial matters can be a sign of depression, but in your case, I think the irritation is justified. So it's not you, I would say, but...the world. Or parts of the world; changing times.
Seek out spots that tend to be more quiet. Public libraries these days can be wonderful refuges. Some even have a coffee shop corner. Parks or quiet neighborhoods for strolling, that have nice views or are lined with beautiful gardens. Museums. Some coffee shops are pretty quiet, full of customers working on their computers instead of talking loudly on phones. Bookstores are great for passing the time exploring books and running into like-minded people.
Find your niches, and enjoy them. Such niches do exist. 66 is too young to give up and hole up.
OP
I'm close to your age and public spaces don't beckon me much. Perhaps because my house and garden are enjoyable, also because Covid made us much more aware that strangers could be dangerous to our health. I caught Covid from the hearing aid tech at Costco, they called to tell me about my possible exposure and by that time I and my husband were feeling ill and went immediately to get tested.
Cost-benefit analysis tells me there are fewer benefits to public places for me. My spouse, slightly older, however needs more social contact than I do so he's been doing more grocery shopping and he's more virus-avoidant than me.
We didn't like movie theatres before Covid. Am trying to think of something I really miss of a public nature and it's a blank.
I can understand how you would prefer to be at home with a house/garden - sounds heavenly. I've usually had a small apt in a city and thus spent a lot of time out and about seeking out those "third places." And now they don't have the allure they did and I actually don't enjoy most of them.
I can't say I worry much about catching illnesses when out so that's not my problem. But I guess the world just isn't that appealing to me anymore - the outside world that is. Too much bad behavior (IMO) which grates on my nerves and leaves me feeling alienated. And as I mentioned in another post, I guess I've always been that way to a certain extent and it's gotten worse with age.
Well, the world has changed since you lived in a city and ranged far and wide on transit. For most of your life,cell phones didn't exist,and very few,if any, parents let their kids run wild in stores, restaurants, crowded, busy sidewalks, etc. Sometimes, irritation over trivial matters can be a sign of depression, but in your case, I think the irritation is justified. So it's not you, I would say, but...the world. Or parts of the world; changing times.
Seek out spots that tend to be more quiet. Public libraries these days can be wonderful refuges. Some even have a coffee shop corner. Parks or quiet neighborhoods for strolling, that have nice views or are lined with beautiful gardens. Museums. Some coffee shops are pretty quiet, full of customers working on their computers instead of talking loudly on phones. Bookstores are great for passing the time exploring books and running into like-minded people.
Find your niches, and enjoy them. Such niches do exist. 66 is too young to give up and hole up.
Thanks for corroborating some of my feelings/perceptions. I do think it's not all me but maybe these things bother me more than they might someone else. I don't like the changes in the world and I guess I'm having trouble adjusting. Your suggestions are good ones and maybe I need to seek out some quiet spots - ironically my local libraries are quite noisy - the people that work there talk and laugh very loud all the time. There are a couple with quiet areas though not as close to me. I don't have any bookstores nearby but maybe I can find one somewhere. Maybe I'm going through something and will adjust although always will need more peace and quiet than some. But I really don't care for the world much anymore and I can't imagine that changing. But need to create more of my own world somehow.
I work in retail (not with customers though) and I see so much bad behavior there and maybe that's affecting my perception too. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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IME the inclinations/preferences we might have in our earlier years tend to get magnified with age. 
