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Boomer parent here. Yes we had car seats. We didn’t have special seats for older kids, but we definitely had seats for babies.
We have followed all rules for car seats for our grands. I follow all instructions from parents, whether from my adult child or spouse. As kids have gotten older, rules are more relaxed. I do not discipline grands, although I have admonished them a very few times. I wanted my parents and in laws to respect my child rearing, and that is how I treat the next gen. My kids are Gen X.
I am surprised at the notion boomer parents didn't use car seats. Maybe some didn't, although I don't remember any of my friends not using them. There is no way I would have allowed my children to be in a car without a car seat, and I'd be shocked if either of my children would allow my grandchildren into a car without a car seat either. I particularly agree with your comment "I wanted my parents and in laws to respect my child rearing, and that is how I treat the next gen."
I am surprised at the notion boomer parents didn't use car seats. Maybe some didn't, although I don't remember any of my friends not using them. There is no way I would have allowed my children to be in a car without a car seat, and I'd be shocked if either of my children would allow my grandchildren into a car without a car seat either. I particularly agree with your comment "I wanted my parents and in laws to respect my child rearing, and that is how I treat the next gen."
What years were you using car safety seats for your children? Not booster seats.
They weren't commonly used until the late 80s. Most states didn't even have laws requiring them in the mid 80s.
I guess I forgot that the group called "boomers" includes those born up to 1964. So relax, gran.
Yes, as a Boomer I used car sets for my kids born 1979 and 1984 on LI. I grew up in Manhattan myself so it wasn't even a issue. My parents did not own or drive a car.
My older Gen X daughter with a 7 month old is not in the least fussy about the baby, but that seems to be her wife's Latino culture. Take baby anywhere and everywhere. They need to be exposed to life all around them.
Younger Millennial daughter has two sons, 5 and 3. Younger son has epilepsy and autism. She is in the middle of a divorce. I worked in public schools with special needs children, including seizures and autism. I now keep hearing, "Mom you have to come help me". No. I will advise you on how to handle him, but he is YOUR SON and YOUR RESPONSIBILITY and you need to learn how to live with him all alone. You cannot call 71 year old Grandma from 100 miles away to come and take care of him when it gets too much for you.
I do not think I am wrong on this. Enthusiastic? Overbearing?
I'm not getting the idea that boomers didn't strap their kids into car seats? Or that they invented helicopter parenting ( that term was coined in 1990's long after our children were born) ? DId we somehow miraculously miss all this LOL! Seems to me there are some mass generalizing going on here, and the promotion of a stereotyped view of boomers filled with assumptions.
You said : "I saw a comment that actually said she expects her parents to obey her rules about car seats for the children." I should hope so? What is wrong with a mother expecting this, or is it that the mother is presuming the grandparents don't know to do with already or have a history of not following car seat rule?
I have never seen any trend with current parents expecting grandparents to pay for grandchildren's college.
from Wikipedia
Quote:
The metaphor appeared as early as 1969 in the bestselling book Between Parent & Teenager by Dr. Haim Ginott, which mentions a teen who complains: "Mother hovers over me like a helicopter..."[2]
and
Quote:
Generational demographer Neil Howe describes helicopter parenting as the parenting style of Baby Boomer parents of Millennial children. Howe describes the helicopter parenting of baby-boomers as a distinct parenting style from Generation X parents. He describes the latter as "stealth-fighter parents" due to a tendency of Gen X parents to let minor issues go, while striking without warning and vigorously in the event of serious issues. Howe contrasts this to the sustained participation of Boomer parents of Millennials in the educational setting, describing these parents as "sometimes helpful, sometimes annoying, yet always hovering over their children and making noise." Howe describes baby boomers as incredibly close to their children, saying that in his opinion, this is a good thing.[8][9]
I am surprised at the notion boomer parents didn't use car seats. Maybe some didn't, although I don't remember any of my friends not using them. There is no way I would have allowed my children to be in a car without a car seat
When we boomers were kids, you do remember that the cars didn't even have seat belts? When we'd drive cross country for vacation, my mom would hold my baby brother or sister the whole way.
When my oldest was born in 84, the car seats were required up to a certain weight. She was a big girl so she was out before she turned two. Times change, requirements got stricter. Now it seems like they need special seats until high school, well, kind of joking.
The metaphor appeared as early as 1969 in the bestselling book Between Parent & Teenager by Dr. Haim Ginott, which mentions a teen who complains: "Mother hovers over me like a helicopter..."[2]
In other words, Boomers invented helicopter parenting even if the terminology didn't become more widespread until later
In 1969, the oldest of the Boomers (b. 1946-1964) were just dipping their toes into parenting at age 23. The youngest were just starting kindergarten at age 5. We didn't invent this "helicopter" stuff. Someone who was a teen in 1969 was born 1950-1956, a Boomer him/herself. The parents would be Silents(1925-1945), or even Greatests (1910-1925).
My mother was born in 1913 and trust me: If she was a helicopter she'd have to be a Blackhawk, lol
I remember one of the few occasions when my parents allowed themselves to argue in my hearing (because of course that was thought unacceptable), my dad accused my mom of always treating me "as if I was made of glass."
'Overprotective' didn't even begin to describe my mom.
Let's put it this way: She actually convinced the pediatrician to write a note every year during grade school AND junior high, saying that I should not be allowed to participate in gym class because I had asthma.
I've never had asthma in my life, which the doctor knew quite well. But I did have a mom who was so afraid I'd get hurt, or "pick up germs" from shared athletic equipment, that it was easier for the doctor to just give in, LOL
When we boomers were kids, you do remember that the cars didn't even have seat belts? When we'd drive cross country for vacation, my mom would hold my baby brother or sister the whole way.
When my oldest was born in 84, the car seats were required up to a certain weight. She was a big girl so she was out before she turned two. Times change, requirements got stricter. Now it seems like they need special seats until high school, well, kind of joking.
Same. I had my son in 1984 and always used a car seat and would switch it out into my mom's vehicle whenever she took care of him for me.
I do remember there were no seat belt laws when I was a kid... I have vivid memories of riding in the back window-sill of my mom's Rambler station wagon all the time. Sometimes, the dog was back there with me.
Last edited by leftcoastie; 01-18-2020 at 06:46 PM..
Reason: Doh! My bad...
Same. I had my son in 1984 and always used a car seat and would switch it out into my mom's vehicle whenever she took care of him for me.
I do remember there were no seat belt laws when I was a kid... I have vivid memories of riding in the back window-sill of my mom's Rambler station wagon all the time. Sometimes, the dog was back there with me.
In the early 60’s, I used to ride in the back windowsill of my parent’s Impala. I especially enjoyed riding up the Parkway after a day at the Jersey Shore. I loved looking up at the stars through the window. It was magical. The dog and I miraculously survived many of those trips!
Are boomer grandparents enthusiastic or overbearing?
Well lots of Australian grandparents are currently just exhausted.
We have one more week of our summer school vacation to go. Most of the parents got back to work last week or today. The children who are school age are being entertained and supervised as well as the parents can organise. Where possible this involves the grandparents.
So last week I had three grandkids to stay for a few nights. Took them to a LEGO afternoon at the local library. All but one of the attendants were brought there by grandparents. Today I traveled across the city by train to mind two for the day. Took them to the city, a museum tour for kids again had nearly all the kids accompanied by tired looking grandparents. Then travelling home, train meltdown because of severe hailstorms (following on from our summer of bushfires!) and DH had to come and collect me.
It is not as if the parents do not make an effort. Same kids will be going to a nanny tomorrow, at a cost of about $US200.
School vacation care on Wednesday, tennis camp on Thursday and Friday. I am happy to help out a little but these grandkids have more energy than me.
Come next Wednesday, everyone will be so happy to see those teachers!
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