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Thank you for everyone's responses so far! I was so afraid ASP was only for abuse and neglect. Trust me, my niece is the kindest sweetest person and loves her mom. Even when she lived out of state she called her every day! Of course a 5 minute phone call to say I love you does not make the situation clear, but they've always had a strong bond. She is utterly heartbroken she can't take care of her they way she wanted. I told her her mom will be safe and that she would NOT want her daughter going through this if she were aware.
Most respite programs are available in the states- ( well except for Tennessee because they give the middle finger to any federal funds)
There are indeed some folks that are inept at tending to a plant much less a living breathing human. So I often support the idea of approaching this serious responsibility with a bit of experience . I sense your niece is green behind the ears . The Senior Center does carry courses - ( usually once or twice a month) on tips and safety measures when tending to family at home. And yes they have a day Center for the afflicted that while the caring member is learning skills , the senior can still be in a safe place for the brief time.
Thank you for everyone's responses so far! I was so afraid ASP was only for abuse and neglect. Trust me, my niece is the kindest sweetest person and loves her mom. Even when she lived out of state she called her every day! Of course a 5 minute phone call to say I love you does not make the situation clear, but they've always had a strong bond. She is utterly heartbroken she can't take care of her they way she wanted. I told her her mom will be safe and that she would NOT want her daughter going through this if she were aware.
You have been a wonderful source of strength and moral support for your niece - that means more than you can possibly know. She is heartbroken, grieving the loss of the mom that she once knew and feeling completely overwhelmed by her mom's situation. That is actually VERY normal for a person in her shoes. She has done nothing wrong and, no, she will not get into trouble for taking a little money to buy food for her mom and herself.
I am so sorry that your family is dealing with this.
Please continue to give us updates. I am sure that your niece is not alone in dealing with something like this, so whatever reports you can give to us might be very helpful if any of us are ever forced to deal with a similar situation.
You have been a wonderful source of strength and moral support for your niece - that means more than you can possibly know. She is heartbroken, grieving the loss of the mom that she once knew and feeling completely overwhelmed by her mom's situation. That is actually VERY normal for a person in her shoes. She has done nothing wrong and, no, she will not get into trouble for taking a little money to buy food for her mom and herself.
I am so sorry that your family is dealing with this.
Me too.
Adult Protective Services is the first call. Explain she cannot safely care for her mother who has Alzheimer's, and stays up 40 hours straight. The Seroquel isn't any help, and the caregiver never showed. She needs help right now.
Depending on how overwhelmed and/or dedicated they are, most will send out either police or a couple of social workers to assess the situation within a few hours. 24 hours at most. Luck of the draw on whether they will have the resources to move her into a memory care facility on an emergency basis, but it's a good place to start.
If that leads nowhere, the next time she falls, take her to the nearest hospital ER for assessment, then refuse to take her home. Explain that it is not safe. She lives alone.
Legally, they cannot discharge her without a place to go, so at some point, a hospital social worker will be on the phone finding her a place to stay and working out the emergency Medicaid funding paperwork.
Absolutely, do not bring her home. Not even temporarily.
Adult Protective Services is the first call. Explain she cannot safely care for her mother who has Alzheimer's, and stays up 40 hours straight. The Seroquel isn't any help, and the caregiver never showed. She needs help right now.
Depending on how overwhelmed and/or dedicated they are, most will send out either police or a couple of social workers to assess the situation within a few hours. 24 hours at most. Luck of the draw on whether they will have the resources to move her into a memory care facility on an emergency basis, but it's a good place to start.
If that leads nowhere, the next time she falls, take her to the nearest hospital ER for assessment, then refuse to take her home. Explain that it is not safe. She lives alone.
Legally, they cannot discharge her without a place to go, so at some point, a hospital social worker will be on the phone finding her a place to stay and working out the emergency Medicaid funding paperwork.
Absolutely, do not bring her home. Not even temporarily.
It is not safe for either of them.
The bold has been discussed "countless" times, but I really do wonder and dread what will happen when the Boomers (of which I am one) reach an average age of 85! There are only so many social workers and so many facilities for the old, and so what will happen to those who need care and cannot provide it for themselves 15 years or so from now?
(Just a comment and not a 'real' question -- I don't want to derail this thread.)
My niece put a call in to ASP. Someone is going to call her tomorrow.
I think she might be worried too that she's suddenly "responsible" for her because she went to a notary to get POA for her mom so she could get some money from the bank to buy food!!
Your niece is NOT obligated legally or morally to take care of her. A POA is a revocable voluntary document unless its been recognized in a court case (i.e., appointment as a legal guardian). If she starts hitting obstacles, go the ER route. Please tell her to not sign anything at the hospital or give them the POA..
I'll pile on with the next time she falls call an ambulance and have them take her to the hospital. Then do not pick her up. But do visit and work very closely with the social worker on placement. Explain you are in from out of town and that her husband died and now there is no one at home to take care of her.
Try to get a list of possible places and then check their reviews and visit the ones you like if you can. The social worker we worked with for my mom's placement into skilled nursing after she got covid was extremely grateful to be working with a family member who cared. She said most people just dumped the senior and didn't care where they got placed.
In fact she held my mom a few extra days until a bed opened up at our preferred skilled nursing facility which was run by Cleveland Clinic and had good reviews. A number of places that would take her right away had horrible reviews for being dumps and having bad care. She didn't have to hold my mom as the covid patients needing placement were numerous and the need for the hospital beds was intense. However, I think she empathized with us trying so hard to find a good place for her.
Edit: For those reading a POA obtained from an advanced Alzheimer patient is probably not valid so get yours done before it is needed.
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