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No.
The ones I know did not make excuses or hide behind the fact that they had issues.
They sought out - and got - help. And instead of blaming the dyslexia and wallowing, they rose above, and they read and they write.
Something you are unwilling to do.
Most of the ones who didn't make excuses were probably diagnosed as children and have been getting help all the while. When it wasn't a diagnosis, they did have to discover work-around's to keep from being labeled as "retarded." Dyslexia diagnoses, like ASD diagnoses, were not always around. A child who couldn't read would have to find creative solutions to avoid it, and that might include disrupting class or cheating on assignments. A child who can't socialize very well, might also try to compensate but in much stranger ways, including not participating in class discussions or asking questions in class, pretending not to be interested in most social activities, and complaining about assigned group work or offering to do all of the work himself or herself. Would you think of it as weird if a child intentionally misbehaved to avoid recess, for instance? What about if the other students seemed to hate him or her for some unknown reason? What if this child usually didn't speak or make eye contact when spoken to? What about if he or she seemed to have much higher intelligence than is developmentally appropriate and could sit with you after school and hold "grown-up" conversations? Would you really consider any of that a sign of a disability? My teachers didn't. ASD wasn't really known widely, then.
I do not know why you were not diagnosed as a child. While it is true that children who had high functioning autism sometimes slipped though the cracks, even 15 or 20 years ago, it still is puzzling why you were not assessed and diagnosed until much later.
Frankly, I disagree with your assertion that people meeting you do not notice that there is something "wrong" with you. The middle school students that you taught as a sub teacher immediately know that you have problems and I really doubt that most of them had a background in diagnosing adults with ASD.
They noticed something was "off," but an overly shy person might appear "off" to kids. I mean, if you don't like working with kids, why did you take a job working with kids? The reasoning goes. They sensed that I was shy and uncomfortable and pounced on it. Yeah, sometimes there were other hints, too.
Because I didn't exhibit enough symptoms to be diagnosed, and I wanted to avoid being labeled "retarded," so I did what I could to stay under the radar, including going to poor public schools that had too many problems to deal with to even worry about diagnosing their students. Of course, I didn't do this intentionally. I just requested to go there because a friend was going there. I did find that the social climate was better. It was easier to make friends in poor schools that had daily fights and low academic achievement than it was in rich schools that had lots of resources and over-achievers. I had a reputation for being creative and silly, just a "normal rebellious kid."
Most of the ones who didn't make excuses were diagnosed as children and have been getting help all the while. When it wasn't a diagnosis, they did have to discover work-around's to keep from being labeled as "retarded." Dyslexia diagnoses, like ASD diagnoses, were not always around
The point is that they WORKED on it, diagnosis or not.
They did not use it as an excuse or as something to hide behind.
I can tell you that I was having trouble finding work too. After the recession took hold, our company had layoffs, and I was only able to land contract jobs, which were very insecure, short term assignments, even if the agency claims that I might have a future there.
Luckily a neighbor kept hounding me to apply with the school district. I knew I'd have to take a huge cut in pay, but if you can hang on, raises happen so often because it's a union job that within a year or two you can recover. I had considered working two jobs until pay got better, but luckily in my circumstances, I didn't have to do that.
I'm not a teacher, I'm an accountant, but working for the school district means that after 5 years, I will be vested in a pension, unheard of in most other jobs. I knew I needed to think about my future too.
Growth is very hard and nearly always includes pain. I had to face my fears and be willing to take a huge risk to get where I wanted to go.
Now's the time to make your move before the next predicted recession hits in 2017! And there are many moves you can make within the district to better jobs once you are their employee!
Lest people think I'm being negative, I just don't want OP to be distracted by suggestions that won't help her until she is able to function as a socially appropriate, professional adult. This is what OP wants to hear, that she can solver her problems without having to dive off the cliff into scary and uncomfortable and hard self-work, she wants to hear that all she needs is another cert, or a better resume, or a wider range. That is the kind of suggestion she is comfortable with (and why she seldom mentions the ASD when she starts new threads or mentions it as an afterthought instead of the main issue), but won't help her in the slightest at this point. I do think a different career is going to be needed, but that is for later, after OP learns how to manage her disorder through medication and ASD-specific counseling/life skills help and vocational testing.
People are too busy making money to care genuinely about people outside of their immediate circle. That's unfortunate, and, in my opinion, foolish, but the most ironic thing is, even though people play this joke on each other every day, no one ever really gets mad. They just accept that is "the way things are" and go on with life. Personally, I don't understand why there isn't rioting in the streets with all of the corruption that goes on in every day interactions, especially business. I guess who ever is doing our mass mind control has trained us well, or maybe, as I've been told frequently, we're the ones who aren't quite right. Personally, I think the world would be a better place if there were many more people like us.
Yes and I get that somewhat. They don't have to be my friend for example because I'm kind of a loner myself but it's like if you're working at a job you have to care more than you have. I guess what I mean is care in the sense that I'm a human being.
Well there's certainly rioting now but I don't know why there wasn't before. I do and I don't. I mean if you're the only one doing it then I'm in the same boat. It's hard to fight when I feel like I'm the only one fighting (I also don't like being the center of attention so if I'm in a group it would be easier) but I don't know why people don't ban together. People in history would be ashamed of our country.
I know if I had a job in a retail store I frequent, I would be socially awkward sure but I've been in a customer's shoes so I would listen and do the best job I can. Now some of the employees are good I'll grant but seems like many others are not..at best they are careless.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick
The point is that they WORKED on it, diagnosis or not.
They did not use it as an excuse or as something to hide behind.
Well for me I didn't know I had a problem. I always assumed I was just quirky. It's impossible to work on something you don't know you have and without someone who can understand the way your mind works.
The point is that they WORKED on it, diagnosis or not.
They did not use it as an excuse or as something to hide behind.
Actually, some of them never learned, and it didn't stop them from being successful, either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickchick
Yes and I get that somewhat. They don't have to be my friend for example because I'm kind of a loner myself but it's like if you're working at a job you have to care more than you have. I guess what I mean is care in the sense that I'm a human being.
Well there's certainly rioting now but I don't know why there wasn't before. I do and I don't. I mean if you're the only one doing it then I'm in the same boat. It's hard to fight when I feel like I'm the only one fighting (I also don't like being the center of attention so if I'm in a group it would be easier) but I don't know why people don't ban together. People in history would be ashamed of our country.
I know if I had a job in a retail store I frequent, I would be socially awkward sure but I've been in a customer's shoes so I would listen and do the best job I can. Now some of the employees are good I'll grant but seems like many others are not..at best they are careless.
Well for me I didn't know I had a problem. I always assumed I was just quirky. It's impossible to work on something you don't know you have and without someone who can understand the way your mind works.
Exactly. This was my situation. I knew I was getting 'bullied," and hated school and life. That's what I knew. I didn't know what it was called or what I needed to "fix" to make it stop. I did develop a very rebellious streak, though, because I felt like I knew as much as the people advising me in some cases. That's normal for teenagers, but I rebelled against the very things that could have helped me a little, like keeping up my appearance and such. In my mind, it was compensation, a way to avoid being picked on. If I looked like a crazy person, they would leave me alone, and it did work. Now, I think I did inadvertently carry some of that with me into the adult world, though, and since I've started to learn the rules and the reasons for them, I have no excuse to continue to do these things.
Well for me I didn't know I had a problem. I always assumed I was just quirky. It's impossible to work on something you don't know you have and without someone who can understand the way your mind works.
But you do now, and you still aren't working on it!
It is not your lack of education that keeps you from getting a job. It is your lack of organization. Do not spend another second or another dime on more education. Work on what your real issues are.
You have 200 posts here offering advice. I haven't read anywhere that you are planning to take any of it.
There are many more posts by other people accusing me of X,Y,Z issue. I said that I would try to apply some of the advice a few times. I expect that this post will also be ignored or get lost in the ones that accuse me of having X,Y,Z issue and refusing to work on it. For those of you who have taken the time to read my posts and have offered real advice, thank you.
There are many more posts by other people accusing me of X,Y,Z issue. I said that I would try to apply some of the advice a few times. I expect that this post will also be ignored or get lost in the ones that accuse me of having X,Y,Z issue and refusing to work on it. For those of you who have taken the time to read my posts and have offered real advice, thank you.
Gawd, I didn't take the time to count how many were good advice and how many weren't. The point is, you have been given tons of advice and haven't said you are going to take any of it! You are still making excuses and not doing anything to help yourself. We can't help you. You have to help you!
I'm done too! Good luck!
And, YOUR'E WELCOME!
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Go back to teaching
I guess who ever is doing our mass mind control has trained us well, or maybe, as I've been told frequently, we're the ones who aren't quite right. Personally, I think the world would be a better place if there were many more people like us.
There are many more posts by other people accusing me of X,Y,Z issue. I said that I would try to apply some of the advice a few times. I expect that this post will also be ignored or get lost in the ones that accuse me of having X,Y,Z issue and refusing to work on it. For those of you who have taken the time to read my posts and have offered real advice, thank you.
