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Thank you so much for posting this. I guess none of these other parents have dealt with bedwetting other than on occasional accident here or there. Unfortunately for some kids there is no amount of training, shaming, punishing, etc that will cure their problem. Only time and allowing there bladder, and hormones to mature will stop this. Those that say we should make this my kids problem and make them pee all over themselves every night and them make them shamefully drag all there wet bedding thru the house to the washer simply has never dealt with this before or if they have I feel really really bad for there kids. My boys know they WILL outgrown this with time. And yes they know having a wet diaper in the morning is not exactly normal for some but it is our normal, they know everyone is different, and every family is different. They know if there bed is wet it creates more work, and they know when there actual bedding is wet is when they come to tell us there bed is wet and they are usually crying when that happens. If your child had a issue that was totally out of there control, and you had an option to make them cry and get upset and make them drag there problem thru the house, or had a solution that would keep them happy and healthy, what would you choose? We choose happy and healthy. I'm glad most of you have kids that didn't have to deal with this but we do and this is what keeps my kids happy and healthy. Will we continue to try pull up style diapers and alarms, and other things periodically dang right but until those work better for MY kids, and keep MY kids happy and healthy, we will stick to whaworks for MY kids.
I think you're doing a good job with them. People always have the perfect solutions for problems that they don't have.
What we did (1) no liquids two hours before bed. (2) Going to the bathroom twice (five minutes apart) before bed. (3) We set an alarm for midnight or one o'clock am. We woke our child up, walked him to the bathroom. He was half asleep! However, his body adjusted to this schedule. He stop wetting his bed.
It's not acceptable that an 8-year-old cannot put on his own undergarments, whatever type they may be.
I still would like to know what potty training techniques you tried, OP, or did you assume they had the same issue their father had and just not try anything?
Your posts, when you are not busy throwing it back in our faces for daring to ask you clarifying questions, make it sound like you just gave up and keep them both in diapers because it's easier for you and doesn't make them cry.
I'm glad it worked for you but we tried it on the oldest last year and both boys slept right thru it. Only people the alarm woke up was DH, baby, and myself. They never even budged.
Lots of older kids wet the bed, it's hereditary and not much you can do about it. There is a drug they can take but it has some pretty concerning side effects so we don't use it. Until they out grow it we just minimize the effects our routine and help the boys get a good night sleep.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
It's not acceptable that an 8-year-old cannot put on his own undergarments, whatever type they may be.
I still would like to know what potty training techniques you tried, OP, or did you assume they had the same issue their father had and just not try anything?
Your posts, when you are not busy throwing it back in our faces for daring to ask you clarifying questions, make it sound like you just gave up and keep them both in diapers because it's easier for you and doesn't make them cry.
In my post that I quoted above I did say we have already tried the alarm, they slept right thru it. We have also tried limiting drinks after dinner, taking them to pee before we go to bed, they are checked out every year by pedestrian and have been to urologist.
And yes the 8 yo has tried a time or 2 to put on his own diaper. He just doesn't get it correct and tight enough that it doesn't leak. But the simple fact is he is still uneffected by the bad body image that most instill in there young kids. Feeling embarrassed is a learned behavior. 2 yo, 4 yo, 8 yo why should one be embarrassed about being diapered but not the other? They are all little kids who wear a diaper for the purpose they were designed for.
Do they still drink out of baby bottles as well? Those items have a purpose, but once a child can control his body, the parent trains him to use an independent method to feed himself.
An alarm is not a potty TRAINING technique. It’s a remedial tool.
How did you try to teach them to pee in the toilet (instead of in their diapers) when they were 2-3?
In my post that I quoted above I did say we have already tried the alarm, they slept right thru it. We have also tried limiting drinks after dinner, taking them to pee before we go to bed, they are checked out every year by pedestrian and have been to urologist.
And yes the 8 yo has tried a time or 2 to put on his own diaper. He just doesn't get it correct and tight enough that it doesn't leak. But the simple fact is he is still uneffected by the bad body image that most instill in there young kids. Feeling embarrassed is a learned behavior. 2 yo, 4 yo, 8 yo why should one be embarrassed about being diapered but not the other? They are all little kids who wear a diaper for the purpose they were designed for.
I won't lie. I wonder if you don't have some other motivation here.
Do they still drink out of baby bottles as well? Those items have a purpose, but once a child can control his body, the parent trains him to use an independent method to feed himself.
An alarm is not a potty TRAINING technique. It’s a remedial tool.
How did you try to teach them to pee in the toilet (instead of in their diapers) when they were 2-3?
What method did you use?
Daytime potty training has nothing at all to do with staying dry overnight. An 8 year old has presumably been daytime potty trained for 5 or 6 years. Anecdotally, my son was daytime trained before he turned 3. My daughter took until she was about 3 1/2, but she stopped wetting the bed soon afterward, before she was 4. Again, you are someone who has never dealt with this and has not consulted pediatricians about the issue. It is very different when it is your own child and not a hypothetical situation.
Daytime potty training has nothing at all to do with staying dry overnight. An 8 year old has presumably been daytime potty trained for 5 or 6 years. Anecdotally, my son was daytime trained before he turned 3. My daughter took until she was about 3 1/2, but she stopped wetting the bed soon afterward, before she was 4. Again, you are someone who has never dealt with this and has not consulted pediatricians about the issue. It is very different when it is your own child and not a hypothetical situation.
For myself, I am not unsympathetic in the slightest. But there are questions that make sense for a parent to ask themselves. This situation is a bit strange not that the child wets the bed. But there seems a vigorous desire to maintain a baby-like state for the child. Appeasing upset so as to stay in diapers vs pull ups for instance when the volume of urine to overwhelm a nighttime pull up would be pretty unusual. The idea that someone barely older than themselves would be bathing them... The sum of these certainly does raise differing advice on a board which is very often used for parenting advice.
For myself, I am not unsympathetic in the slightest. But there are questions that make sense for a parent to ask themselves. This situation is a bit strange not that the child wets the bed. But there seems a vigorous desire to maintain a baby-like state for the child. Appeasing upset so as to stay in diapers vs pull ups for instance when the volume of urine to overwhelm a nighttime pull up would be pretty unusual. The idea that someone barely older than themselves would be bathing them... The sum of these certainly does raise differing advice on a board which is very often used for parenting advice.
The bathing thing was out of the ordinary, to be sure, and I can't comment on that. But a minor developmental anomaly that is known to resolve itself within a set timeframe is really not a big deal. Obviously parents get these things checked out. Of course I mentioned this issue to our pediatrician, who assured me it was not uncommon. Then we moved and I talked to our next pediatrician about it and she said the exact same thing. Also, my MIL confirmed that my husband had gone through the same issue. So I would guess that the doctors probably know better than some random message board posters... and in our case, things progressed as expected and as both doctors had predicted. Would it have been better to put my son through a list of "fixes" for the problem that we knew would fix itself and that wasn't causing him any distress? No, it would not. Other parents are free to do whatever they want, but in our case, and in the case of many other families dealing with this, just letting nature take its course is the right answer even if internet strangers disagree.
The bathing thing was out of the ordinary, to be sure, and I can't comment on that. But a minor developmental anomaly that is known to resolve itself within a set timeframe is really not a big deal. Obviously parents get these things checked out. Of course I mentioned this issue to our pediatrician, who assured me it was not uncommon. Then we moved and I talked to our next pediatrician about it and she said the exact same thing. Also, my MIL confirmed that my husband had gone through the same issue. So I would guess that the doctors probably know better than some random message board posters... and in our case, things progressed as expected and as both doctors had predicted. Would it have been better to put my son through a list of "fixes" for the problem that we knew would fix itself and that wasn't causing him any distress? No, it would not. Other parents are free to do whatever they want, but in our case, and in the case of many other families dealing with this, just letting nature take its course is the right answer even if internet strangers disagree.
I am glad everything worked out for you! Did anyone suggest the OP should roll over and take advice given despite it not making sense to her? I did not see it.
In this case, I think the fixes are less important than the balance of the situation. It seems TO ME like the issue with the "babysitter" highlights a bigger issue with being 8 where this child is at. Different strokes.
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People always have the perfect solutions for problems that they don't have.
Daytime potty training has nothing at all to do with staying dry overnight. An 8 year old has presumably been daytime potty trained for 5 or 6 years. Anecdotally, my son was daytime trained before he turned 3. My daughter took until she was about 3 1/2, but she stopped wetting the bed soon afterward, before she was 4. Again, you are someone who has never dealt with this and has not consulted pediatricians about the issue. It is very different when it is your own child and not a hypothetical situation.
