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My eldest has a friend (who I would call a frenemy) who has always copied him.
When they were around 5 he had to have the same toys, the same bicycle. If he saw my had something he didn't then he made his parents buy it for him. At that age it is probably normal but he never stopped and they are now 14/15.
My son told this boy he liked a girl in his class last year (we now know this was a lie as my son has never been interested in girls) but guess who this boy then decided to date?! I find it strange and if I had a girl friend like that at that age I don't think we'd be friends for long. Are boys just more tolerant of this? And has anyone else experienced it?
Why would your son lie about who he was interested in? Why are you this involved with the goings-on of your teenager's friends? Often a bunch of boys or a bunch of girls will have a crush on the same person. Not unusual at all, IMO. I would just stay out of it. I certainly don't micromanage my kids' relationships with friends to the degree that I know who has a crush on whom. And the fact that your son tried to set up his friend to see if he was a copycat shows that your behavior is rubbing off on him. Just let it go.
Children mimic to learn and kids will copy as a mode of learning and socialization i.e. to fit into a peer group. Sometimes this can veer into a new territory where one person will copy another person who's considered a role model, then take it to an extreme. Maybe it's a way to try on an identity as part of forming self identity (maybe child psychologists can chime in here?) but it can turn into copying everything another person does or wants.
I'm not sure if this is a "boys more tolerant v. girls of this behavior", or a matter of your kid noticing this and deciding for himself how much he's bothered by this behavior. Why not ask your son what he thinks of this friendship without adding any judgment and see what your son says?
Why would your son lie about who he was interested in? Why are you this involved with the goings-on of your teenager's friends? Often a bunch of boys or a bunch of girls will have a crush on the same person. Not unusual at all, IMO. I would just stay out of it. I certainly don't micromanage my kids' relationships with friends to the degree that I know who has a crush on whom. And the fact that your son tried to set up his friend to see if he was a copycat shows that your behavior is rubbing off on him. Just let it go.
Maybe because he was not comfortable with letting his whole class know he was gay?
I enjoy talking to my children and this child has been in his life since he was so little!
The girl is definitely not one many boys would have a crush on (small and shy and geeky) and definitely not this type of boy.
I don't think he was trying to do that - he told me he had to say something since his friends were saying who they liked. It is a good lesson though, I'd feel sorry for him if he really liked her and his "friend" did that to him.
All kids are copycats. When you walk through a high school, they're pretty much dressed in groupings, copying each other in their social group.
I'm curious - what's bothering you about this relationship where you call the boy a "frenemy"?
When other kids have copied my kids, I kind of think great . . . my kid is a leader and is admired!
This^^^^
Do you really think this boy is not a true friend because he likes the things your son does, says and wears? People often dress and act like people they admire. It's human nature.
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