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Who cares?! We're all different as parents and it seems like you're trying to make an issue where there isn't one. Just be the best parent YOU can be and don't worry about what other people are doing!
I am not making an "issue", just wondering if anyone else out there felt like sometimes they don't do enough.. I am not insulting my cousin, I probably am, in some way, somewhat jealous of the fact that I DON'T do these things or enjoy them.
I do have to admit, that sometimes, I think it is a little over the top.
The slide shows & scrapbook displays at birthday parties seems , well, it just seems to be a "wow" factor.
I love her very much, accept her for who she is, wonderful talents and all!
I agree with everyone. You are reading way too much into everything. I have an incredibly creative sister. I'm not even remotely creative. I look forward to seeing what amazing things she creates. Doesn't cross my mind that she does any of it for show. She just loves to do it.
My sister was very crafty. She hand sewed her children's halloween costumes. She hand painted their furniture. She did all sorts of amazing things.
I'm capable of the same level of creativity, but I rarely had energy to do it on an ongoing basis. I always admired her creativeness and energy. It never bothered me.
If someone wants to be over-the-top, that's great for them. You just think it's over the top because you're jealous and beating yourself up.
As to sharing feelings inadequacy, mine wasn't with the crafts. Mine was with not playing games.
I went through a faze where I felt bad that I wasn't actively fun enough---playing catch, hopscotch, etc. That type of stuff just didn't stimulate my brain. I couldn't fake it.
I didn't compare myself to people who did. I was just thankful that my husband was more 'play' and 'fun' natured than me. I got over it and accepted myself for who I am.
So, I can relate to feeling like you're the nurturer, not the player. You just need to work through it and accept yourself for who you are.
I'm pretty crafty, and I used to make my kids' birthday party invitations. I don't think less of moms who send evites, though! I do it because I enjoy it, not to make other people feel bad. Really, I think you're a little hypersensitive about the issue because you don't feel as Martha Stewartish as your cousin, but it's not productive to compare. You do some things well, and your cousin does other things well. Imagine how boring it would be if we were all the same. Don't worry about it, and let your cousin enjoy her flair for artsy things. I will say that I am AWFUL at pretend playing with the kids. If they drag out Transformers or Barbies, my eyelids start twitching. I can do Yahtzee or badminton, but these little pretend games that only children understand? Forgetaboutit! So while I may proudly display my scrapbooks, I look like an awful mom when the kids pull out the dollhouse or whatever. We all have our strengths! :P
I am not making an "issue", just wondering if anyone else out there felt like sometimes they don't do enough.. I am not insulting my cousin, I probably am, in some way, somewhat jealous of the fact that I DON'T do these things or enjoy them.
I do have to admit, that sometimes, I think it is a little over the top.
The slide shows & scrapbook displays at birthday parties seems , well, it just seems to be a "wow" factor.
I love her very much, accept her for who she is, wonderful talents and all!
YES! I too often feel I don't do enough, and I don't even have a crafty cousin! But I do see other Moms doing crafty stuff and I cannot get into it! I'm sure that all Mothers go through times when we feel alittle inadaquate. What amazes me is the fact that I don't have time to get the laundry put away let alone make a scrapebook.
People like your cousin were put on earth to make the rest of us feel like total losers. Most women cannot possibly be as perfect as your cousin. She is in the minority. If it makes you feel better, her children will grow up resenting her for being so perfect
As someone who was recently on the other side of the "reading into" scenario you've got going on here, don't judge yourself or your cousin so harshly. I'm sure she sees all of your unique qualities, and I'm also sure that she's not trying to say anything by purchasing your children craft kits. Her children may even have picked them out.
If you're not crafty, don't worry. Do things your way.
It does seem like it's more about your insecurity than about your cousin.
I'm very crafty and get snide comments from various family members and even parents of other kids. *shrug* Whatever. My kids LOVE to do crafts and are both very creative. We scrapbook on and off. We try new things. I teach art once a month at my dd's school (which requires no 'craftiness', just the ability to read directions).
When I get the snide remarks and such, it really just tells me that the person doing it is insecure about herself. But their jealousy/envy doesn't make me feel inadequate. Just the opposite... don't judge your parenting skills based on WHAT your children enjoy (or what other mothers can/can't do), just on whether or not they are doing/trying new things and enjoy your time together. Do your children seem miserable? Do they look with longing at the things your cousin puts together? Has your child asked to do the craft kits only to be rejected by you?
It sounds like she's just crafty (and has an incredible amount of time on her hands). Things like scrapbooks and homemade invites take a crazy amount of time and energy, so it's only natural for the person to want everyone to enjoy it after they're done. I don't think it's so much her trying to make you jealous...it's sounds like you're just taking it personally.
The best thing you can do is focus on YOUR strengths. You may not like the "crafty" activities, but I bet your kids love when you read, do board games, and/or school activities with them. Focus on those things and continue to have fun with your children YOUR way. xx
I can be very crafty and creative when the mood strikes me. I made the 'mini chandelier' in my daughters room, for example.
But I work 3 jobs from home (that don't involve the kids or housekeeping or cooking- thats why I have hubby LOL) so at the end of the day... yeah- my creativity is nill- unless i am in just in one of my moods (which comes about twice a year)! LOL
I have had parties for my kids where i put in a great amount of effort- like my daughters halloween birthday party where i made a haunted house multi level cake and a bloody eyeball pinata - all from scratch - and ive had others where it was a grocery store cake and mickey mouse decos from walmart LOL... i can go both ways LOL
i have a feeling what your sister wants - is for you to tell her how cute, pretty, creative, (insert positive adjective here) the invitations are. I see no harm in telling her she did good. You can roll your eyes all you want, she cant see you
we all have strengths and weaknesses as parents. Me... I HATE board games. LOATHE them. (except trivial pursuit LOL). So... I dont play them. we dont have game night. some would be mortified to hear that but I HATE BOARD GAMES AND WILL NOT SUBJECT MYSELF TO 2 HOURS OF CANDLYLAND
LOL there i said it. i win the bad mom award
now wheres my coffee...
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Really, I think you're a little hypersensitive about the issue because you don't feel as Martha Stewartish as your cousin, but it's not productive to compare. You do some things well, and your cousin does other things well. Imagine how boring it would be if we were all the same. Don't worry about it, and let your cousin enjoy her flair for artsy things. I will say that I am AWFUL at pretend playing with the kids. If they drag out Transformers or Barbies, my eyelids start twitching. I can do Yahtzee or badminton, but these little pretend games that only children understand? Forgetaboutit! So while I may proudly display my scrapbooks, I look like an awful mom when the kids pull out the dollhouse or whatever. We all have our strengths! :P
