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Texas can make it without the United States, The United States cannot make it without Texas.
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
3. They are cattle and oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-20 and I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.
4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
7. Yeah, we eat catfish and crawfish. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.
10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Picante Sauce! !Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... It AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chili was born and bred in San Antonio .... and real chili never met a tomato!
12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
13. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.
15. Colleges? Try Texas Tech, Texas A-M or University of Texas They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.
16. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines, than any other state, so "Don't Mess with Texas ," If you do, you will get whipped by the best.
17. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston once said: "Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas !"
Out of all the states I've lived in, Texas takes there state seriously. If you are a Texan, you are proud.
Rule #9 -Not everyone holds the door open for me but some people are jerks anyway.
Rule #6- Most people in Texas are more obsessed with there cell phones than they are with doves.
Location: Prescott Valley, Az (unfortunately still here)
2,543 posts, read 4,914,999 times
Reputation: 1521
Rules in Texas:
1. Respect your neighbor and everybody else (you'll get appreciated better and get better service when you are nice and friendly).
2. No, there's no vegetarian side of the menu (got to love your steaks to come to Texas).
3. Shorts and tank tops are a must (when it comes time to Bar-B-Que parties and such, just be comfortable. You'll be there ALLLLL day long. No need to get all dressed up).
4. As a Texas woman: you always carry some makeup on you in your purse (you never know what will be happening. You always try to look your best no matter what).
5. As a Texas woman: you always respect your man, no matter what his mood is (but as a born Texan, you know exactly what to do to make a man happy again).
6. Keep our highways and parks beautiful (DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS!! Please, don't litter).
7. Football is king in Texas (so please be a football fan when you visit).
8. Respect the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders (it's one of the hardest squads to join. And none are dumb bimbos!! Yes, they get quizzed on football history and how the game is played. And do a thorough background check on each lady. So, dumb bimbos, NEED NOT APPLY. Only intelligent, hard working, beautiful, talented, athletic women only).
9. Please don't drink and drive (Texas is very harsh when it comes to this. You may spend a year in jail on a 2nd DUI already).
10. Don't murder anyone (we believe what the Bible tells us; thou shall not kill. So, what we do with murderers? WE PUT THEM ON DEATH ROW!! Beware! Pay back's a *****, isn't it?!).
11. Don't make fun if you meet someone who uses all 3 names (it's just tradition that makes us different from most. I go by all 3 of my names).
12. No, not all people are like in the show "King Of The Hill" (very intelligent folks in Texas. So, please, respect, huh?).
We've lived in many states and I have to say, I have never been more proud to live in the great State of Texas. People for the most part, are proud of their country and state. Most show a huge respect for each other and are welcomed. And this from a "Yankee"! I was welcomed with open arms!
In Iowa we call it the Farmer's Wave and any native worth their salt uses it. For those who are confused it's holding up two or more fingers as you hold on to the top of the steering wheel. "Howdy, neighbor!" Make sure it's at least two fingers or you might see someone pulling a U turn behind you...
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
3. They are cattle and oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-20 and I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.
4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
7. Yeah, we eat catfish and crawfish. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.
10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Picante Sauce! !Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... It AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chili was born and bred in San Antonio .... and real chili never met a tomato!
12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
13. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.
15. Colleges? Try Texas Tech, Texas A-M or University of Texas They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.
16. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines, than any other state, so "Don't Mess with Texas ," If you do, you will get whipped by the best.
17. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston once said: "Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas !"
I think I'd like to winter in Texas and spend summers traveling the northern mid west. Now to convince my wife.
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I was welcomed with open arms!
