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Over Christmas I saw some relatives I hadn't seen in a decade. One relative, who is in her 70s, kept asking me the nosiest questions about things that I did not want to share, certainly with an entire group of people staring at me --- questions about my financial status, or a my personal life.
A few times I was able to divert the questions, and I resorted to "If I told you I'd have to kill you." (which she should have understood given that her son was in the military!) And then I responded, "Well that's nobody's business...(hint hint.) But she kept asking these privacy-invading questions.
Has anyone come up with a good, polite way to deflect questions like this without being rude? Otherwise I like this lady and I wouldn't want to alienate any of my relatives.
Ann Landers came up with the answer to this long ago.
Look at the person, smile, and ask "Why do you want to know?"
Another thing I like to do is look at them and say, "Hey, how 'bout them Bears?"
You can substitute your own favorite sports teams for Bears if you like.
Whenever I am in an uncomfortable situation I retort to joking. I'd say "It's all good" and then make a joke. Changing the subject is also a good tactic. She must be just old and curious. You shouldn't feel offended or pressured to say anything. I usually treat very old people who ask silly questions just like kids who ask silly questions. If your 7 year old niece or nephew would have asked the same questions you would have known what to reply, right?
Over Christmas I saw some relatives I hadn't seen in a decade. One relative, who is in her 70s, kept asking me the nosiest questions about things that I did not want to share, certainly with an entire group of people staring at me --- questions about my financial status, or a my personal life.
A few times I was able to divert the questions, and I resorted to "If I told you I'd have to kill you." (which she should have understood given that her son was in the military!) And then I responded, "Well that's nobody's business...(hint hint.) But she kept asking these privacy-invading questions.
Has anyone come up with a good, polite way to deflect questions like this without being rude? Otherwise I like this lady and I wouldn't want to alienate any of my relatives.
"I refuse to answer that on the grounds that I don't wanna."
I am completely shocked at how closed the original posters and the responds are!
Has anyone read the book, "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie? He says in the book the best way to make friends is ask people about themselves. Why are you so private, these are relatives just trying to be nice.
I wish my relatives would ask questions about what I am up to. I could not picture any question they would ask would be that confidential. Loosen up!
I am completely shocked at how closed the original posters and the responds are!
Has anyone read the book, "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie? He says in the book the best way to make friends is ask people about themselves. Why are you so private, these are relatives just trying to be nice.
I wish my relatives would ask questions about what I am up to. I could not picture any question they would ask would be that confidential. Loosen up!
They are asking about things that are NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS.
It is obvious the OP does not want to give the requested information.
Just say, "That's none of your effin' business. Now shut the eff up." Except don't really say eff. When she tells someone and they ask you about it, get a concerned look on your face, deny everything and ask if she's shown other signs of dementia.
"I refuse to answer that on the grounds that I don't wanna."
That's also very good. I might change the wording slightly to something like, "I'm afraid I can't answer that because I don't want to." ---with a smile and chuckle. If someone doesn't get the message after that, then they're a dumboldt and don't even deserve further attention.
There's so many good suggestions here, I should have made a multi-quote....I thank you all
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