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3) color your hair if you have greys (I don't know why women let their greys show - it is very aging).
You were on a roll until you said that.
For what it's worth, they actually did a study on older people with natural hair and colored hair. They asked people to guess their age, and guess what? No one was fooled into thinking the ones with colored hair were younger.
They could tell the age accurately regardless of hair color. This is because people look at more than hair color to gauge someone's age.
A person with a young face and gray hair, is still going to look younger than someone with an older face and colored hair.
For what it's worth, they actually did a study on older people with natural hair and colored hair. They asked people to guess their age, and guess what? No one was fooled into thinking the ones with colored hair were younger.
They could tell the age accurately regardless of hair color. This is because people look at more than hair color to gauge someone's age.
A person with a young face and gray hair, is still going to look younger than someone with an older face and colored hair.
3) color your hair if you have greys (I don't know why women let their greys show - it is very aging). Test strand first!
Some women look distinguished or elegant with some grey coming in, depending on how it comes in. And salt-and-pepper hair can look very cool, depending on the woman. And having some grey show can give those perennially baby-faced women some credibility; a hint of age is not always a bad thing.
a beautiful attitude and smile are ageless. Go that route.
Try lessening the conceit, it can give you a natural glow of joy.
I think a nice smile works wonders, I've done little else or more of the worse and though, I look my age, I'm hardly ever without favorable comments in real life. Not conceit, I just think more often than not it can just be luck. I'm certainly no great beauty, I'm fat, out of shape, but, at least once a week someone walks up to me and tells me I'm really pretty, stunning or some such silly thing. I smoked, sunned, though I very rarely did any drinking and especially not drugs and sure the looking haggard thing caught up the past few years, mostly I believe due to medications I've had to take, so I don't know. I do have my crappy days when I'm sure I leave the house and it looks like I was hit with a wall of bricks and I don't know what some people see to make them walk up to me in the strangest of moments at grocery stores or on the street and throw a compliment, but, I am certain my smile is a major contributing factor it sure ain't my body or my weekly workout routines. Menopause, schitmentopause
I have thought about going grey, still thinking on it, but really, only my roots get a tinge of grey so I just touch them up ever so often. I wear some makeup, but spend very little time putting little on for when I leave the house, but what I do take with me most everywhere is a smile when most people come my way.
Just mention myself, because letting some know, you don't have to be the conventional type to be considered attractive to everyone even when you're my age.
What worries me (as a not yet menopausal 48 yr old female) is that the science behind beauty is in general agreement
that biological fertility is what controls certain beauty "markers" for women.
Waist:hip ratio is one such "marker" & I've heard several women say that even though they were fit & trim they lose their
waist. I know this won't be the popular sentiment here but I'd rather stay fertile till I'm 80 if thats whats going to happen.
Very true! Men are hard-wired to propagate the species. You'll find Helen Fisher's "Anatomy of Love" interesting. Or disheartening.
That's sort of what I meant by thinking that HRT would be the fountain of youth, but apparently it doesn't quite work out that that.
I tend to eat mostly "okay" and am naturally pretty active (not to lose weight; just to enjoy life), but I could never be much bothered with hair and makeup or even clothes, so I can't see myself putting a lot of effort into it now. I've always been a natural, low-maintenance girl, and it would be completely out of character for me to apply makeup to go to the mailbox, keep up with the roots of my hairs, pump iron all day in an expensive gym, starve myself on a low-calorie diet forever, etc.
Still, I honestly wondered if there were actually older women out there eating like p-I-g hogs and keeping their skinny stick arms anyway. I would hate that! But, if so, what is their secret?
As for this, which I hear a lot: "I personally like doing this because it makes me feel good about myself."
I could start another thread. My position is that you're not doing it for yourself because you can't see yourself (at least not your face, unless you're looking in a mirror) and yourself wouldn't care what you look like were it not for what other people think of what you look like. If you were alone on a desert island, would you care? No. So it IS for other people because, when they like what they see, you feel accepted/acceptable and therefore "better" about yourself. I've also never much cared what others think, so that's probably yet another problem...
Last edited by otterhere; 07-11-2016 at 01:31 PM..
a beautiful attitude and smile are ageless. Go that route.
Try lessening the conceit, it can give you a natural glow of joy.
I'm not "conceited"; I'm just stating that fact that I never (until now) had to "do" anything to be considered attractive by the opposite sex. It is what it is. I mean, WAS...
I'm not "conceited"; I'm just stating that fact that I never (until now) had to "do" anything to be considered attractive by the opposite sex. It is what it is. I mean, WAS...
I understand what you're saying and I don't think you're being conceited, for what that's worth.
It IS hard to feel you're "losing it," whatever "it" is, or was. The aging process isn't always easy. Not for every single person. Yes, I know, there are thoroughly enlightened, evolved women who embrace their golden years and blah blah. That's awesome and amazing. I would love to be one of them but I admit to have had a few growing pains along this journey.
I don't know whether I'm "hot." My husband says I am. But he has to...he signed the paper! AFAIK he's legally obligated to tell me I'm hot. I dress young but not trampy-young or Forever 21 to prove a point or anything like that. Just contemporary and fun and yes, body-hugging to an extent (again, not sprayed on). At the same time I am embracing some "classier" touches lately. I feel that's "hot" in its own right.
I do work out. I'm amazed at how my body has reshaped since I began working out. I have always been an apple when heavy or a rectangle when slender. In other words, a comparatively non-defined waist. Now, I'm seriously dipped in at the waist and my stomach is flat, and the cellulite on my butt disappeared. (That was amazing.) My thighs are shaped. I mean they're Wonder Woman shaped instead of just the same width all the way down, LOL. (They're not as big as Wonder Woman's, though. I just mean that shape, the curvy shape.) My calves have that little sexy bump instead of up and down. It's just such a difference. I would recommend it, personally.
Hair: I don't go crazy on the hairstyles, I don't like the upkeep, but I do adopt fun styles. Right now I love the two little twists on either side of the forehead going back look (or sometimes I do it with little braids). I also love those fan buns.
I'll never be young again and pretending to be would be futile, but I try to stay "aware" in general and that's translating to fashion. It might not for everybody, but it does for me. I think seeming to be "in the loop" is a youthful thing in general (not just in looks, obviously, but in all ways). That *may* translate to hot or its post-40s equivalent, LOL. I wish I could tell you for sure. I can't. But I can say I have people tell me I look good (unsolicited) so there's that.
There's something to that comment that "less naturally attractive" women developed skills and got in the habit of upkeep from an early age. When you never have to, you never do...
I'm interested in the hormonal angle; there's no question that my pre- and post-menopause face, hair, and body are like night and day. The HRT keeps the hot flashes at bay, but it's no miracle cure for the rest of it!
I may have to look into that aspect. My thyroid tested normal, BTW.
There's something to that comment that "less naturally attractive" women developed skills and got in the habit of upkeep from an early age. When you never have to, you never do...
I'm interested in the hormonal angle; there's no question that my pre- and post-menopause face, hair, and body are like night and day. The HRT keeps the hot flashes at bay, but it's no miracle cure for the rest of it!
I may have to look into that aspect. My thyroid tested normal, BTW.
Yes, I think hormones change things. Or rather, they shift them...so to speak. Ratios change. And these show.
You can take two women with NO wrinkles at all, zero, with a 20-year age difference, and on inspection, generally, you'll be able to tell that one is in her 20s and one isn't. There are definitely subtle changes that don't involve "typical aging" signs such as wrinkles, sun spots, uneven tone, uneven texture or sagging. It's hard to define but it shows. It shows at different rates (cue the "I'm 40 but people think I'm a teenager!" replies, etc.) but it does show...if we're honest about it.
But I DON'T think that means you can't be hot at an older age. I just don't. When I turned 40 I'm sure people could tell I wasn't 20 but I got come-ons galore anyway. And just this past year or two, when I finally began to have period irregularities five years after I was told my hormonal panel showed I was already perimenopausal, I have noticed a "maturation" look. I don't have one single wrinkle more (actually, I don't have any deep wrinkles at all...I have tiny cross-hatches under my eyes when I smile if you look close up, that's about it), nothing physically on inspection has changed but...there's maturity. So hard to explain but yes. It happens.
And other, non-facial changes happen. Your hands age, your neck ages.
Don't try to be 20, and don't think only 20 can be hot. Hormones definitely happen (or stop happening, LOL...or rather, slow down/decrease dramatically). Hormonal shifts have been occurring all your life. Now here's another one. Stay hot, and I don't mean flashes.
If you're on HRT I'd suggest reading the Suzanne Somers book(s?) about bioidentical. I'm not familiar but she's been gung ho talking about it for over a decade that I know of.
And if you only had a thyroid screening (TSH T3 T4) - a full panel is better but if you have no history of thyroid/symptoms it's probably a waste of $350.00.
I assume you have had a recent complete series of bloodwork? AND a bone density. HRT or not. And having your HRT levels analyzed.
I woke up one day at age 51 and thought I had wrinkles from being sleep deprived with my seriously ill dog for months. My BF said "Uh, no that's been happening now for a long time. About 2 mos later menopause started. HAHAHA
My mother was a zealot about applying moisturizer, liquid foundation etc her entire life. Her skin was impeccable until she died at 76. It was kind of obvious because her limbs looked very different - tan from freckles merging.
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Menopause, schitmentopause 
But, if so, what is their secret? 
