Quote:
Originally Posted by Tennesseestorm
Personally the 1991-1992 Chevrolet Caprice Classic is one of my favorite cars... always has been. I was in the 9th grade when they came out in late 1990. My uncle bought one new. I wanted one from day one, but I was always a goofy kid. lol.
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You are right. You are a goofy kid. This was without a doubt, THE ugliest Caprice ever made. It reminds me of a large suppository on wheels....almost reminiscent of a 1940's olds....ugly to the bone. That, and the living room like interior, circa 1970 cinches it....only needs to borrow Ricardo Montalban from Chrysler and call it, ""fine Corinthian leather""...it didn't work for Chrysler, won't do any better with GM.....
It also reminds me a drunken rental car episode when I had the luck to rent one of these late model GM land yachts, load up a few cases of beer with my mates and test the ""off-road"" capabilities of the 1990 ish jelly bean known as the Chevy Caprice...here's my Caleb Car and Review of this piece of Shiite made by GM...it happened in the fall in Northern Ohio....
""After sending the Caprice through it's many paces, it was apparent that the handling characteristics were a bit wallowy for our taste. True, we had 6 passengers of moderate proportions as well as 3 cases of beer for a thorough test drive". We of course, elected for the excessive insurance at the rental car and yes, it was Hertz. Exactly. Sooooo, after sending it sailing across all the chuck-holes that Cleveland and Akron roads have to offer, we felt that the transmission and suspension were warmed up enough to put it through the parking lot slalom.
Understeer is the word here. As it literally listed to port and starboard with every excessive oversteer, we felt the jelly bean asset of this boat was starting to break and had to lay off the gas and brakes in order to bring the USS minnow back under control. This coupled with the front and rear couches borrowed from grandma, offered no lateral or arterial support whatsoever. You had as much luck holding on to this heap as one would holding on to the standing strap in a subway or bus. There is little to no feedback save the chuckholes when navigating this gem through the streets and parking lots of said run down industrial towns.
Despite GM's best efforts to offer nothing and charge plenty, it did have one redeeming quality. It took curbs with aplomb until of course, we literally chipped and broke the ""mag"" wheel on our final lap around ""the block". They just don't cast that aluminum like they used to....sigh.....no matter, between neutral slams and rolling slides, we determined the transmission, like the rest of this soon-to-be-rusting hulk, were no better suited to longevity as any other domestically made automotive product so the parts were indeed matching in their planned obsolescence as serenely as the rest of the grandma comforts and appointments afforded this "piece of GM transportation"so often found in fleets and of course, rental lots.
As it turned out, opting for the Hertz mac daddy insurance was fortuitous. It, unlike the carprice, served us well. After further researching the badge, Caprice, we were able to determine it originated from the Haitian name, Capiece...or as some would say, a piece...of what? you fill in the blanks...I think its swahilli for what a piece of Shiite you paid too much for.
You don't own an old Caprice. You rent it. Be it through long-term loans or outright ignorance, this thing should have NEVER left the design room. The guy that came up with this thing deserves an outright asset whooping. The doors are as long as a city block and damn near as heavy. To open one around a corner and hang on is inviting outright suicide. Those rounded tail cues are what? Oldsmobuick in nature with about as much taste as one would find on the end of my p-nis. Shameful comes to mind.
It is to the early 90's what the Prius is today. In a polite way, transportation. But who in the f would EVER want this heap in their driveway? If you do, you are probably the guy that patches your car with duct tape, wear brown oxfords, and see no reason why you shouldn't wear black socks, wingtips, and plaid shorts while you cut your grass. Sure, you'll get the job done but, believe me, you will forever known as ""that guy"". And ""that guy" never, ever gets laid unless he pays for it.
One big Tylenol on wheels. Whoa! Can you say outrageously ugly??? I'd rather own a pinto and act proud that be seen this cabin cruiser. Only the Plymouth fury (and I am NOT talking about the Clint Eastwood model) could rival this in styling, or lack thereof, cues.
The engine was "throaty" to any aggressive gas pedal commands (including rolling smoothly away from stop signs). The brakes were better served when I held FIRMLY to the wheel and literally STOOD on them when testing the 80-0 brake test....between the smoke and desperate and drastic moves with the wheel to keep the good ship lollipop stopping in a somewhat straight-line, I found the brakes "lacking"overall in both responsiveness and strength. Similar to a 10-speed bike of the era when the wheels were wet and the stop sign was 30' feet ahead with traffic rolling left to right and vice versa.
Unnerving.
To buy one of these says,
"I surrender, I give up" and nooooo one is EVER going to take you seriously again. That thing might work well for troopers of the day but, hey, they carry guns so who in their right mind is going to laugh at them? This is something your dad took you to in church and by doing so, forced you to stay extremely low in your seat for fear of your friends spotting you and unloading with a fit of laughter that rivals an epileptic seizure in public. No one really, really needs that.
By the time the wrecker took this sled back to the hertz lot all we could determine was, why oh why would anyone want to own one of these? While GM and Ford have given us ALL plenty of models to regret, this one holds a special place in the halls of GM's hail mary pass of producing models in a desperate attempt to do ANYTHING to look different. Mission accomplished. It's different alright. Area 51 wouldn't even take a crack at this thing.
The 90ish caprice was simply an oddity that thankfully rarely comes along. The Edsel, Pinto, Vega, and perhaps Corvair all share that hall of shame award for mindless and spiritless design on a napkin over lunch award while stoned to the bejeezus belt and yet, actually made it to production. This one holds a special place in my heart when you consider the enormous amount of metal and plastic that went into it. Someone actually signed off on this design. How I would love to meet him/her and laugh in their face.
The only good that ever came out of this prize was the fun 6 of us had renting it so long ago and testing the curb jumping appeal and performance we had hoped so much to achieve. If the Russians were scoring it, they would have given us a 4.5......and that would have been generous.....between the transmission giving up the ghost in 100 miles of abuse and the engine making noises that those who speak in tongues would recognize, I was left with the feeling that a fraud was being perpetrated on the general GM buying public at large and it was my duty to put an end to it. Or, at the very least, and end to this one. Hey, I'm one man...there is only so much I can do.
I had hoped for more. I really thought this thing would have the chimichangas to go the distance like the 68-72 models did. A little loose in the turns but, they kept going and going and going....not this energizer bunny. If you were stupid enough to buy one of these tugs, you should have had the brains to have crossed your fingers and prayed every day you came home safely.
If you ever see one coming down the road, walk the other way or, throw a harpoon in its side and beach this whale once and for all.
THAR SHE BLOWS!!!!
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Besides a lack of some chrome trim, I really don't see much of a drastic difference between the two in terms of styling.
LOL that 91-92 Chevy Caprice Key fob is the size of a modern I-Pod
