Exposed Part 12
Posted 08-08-2008 at 06:05 PM by Pam& Bill
Well Bill and I had a week to enjoy the nature in all its spiritual beauty. I feel as if I've barely caught my breath and the next crisis has arrived.
Yesterday, Bill had some serious swelling in places where no swelling should be. So around midnight off we all go to the ER. Good thing Bill had the forethought to pack a bag. Not only was he admitted, he was transported to a bigger hospital in Asheville that is a cardiac hospital.
The swelling was Congestive Heart failure, or the start. My emotions are all over the place. It isn't like I didn't know this was coming. But how do I walk the fine line between being positive and upbeat for bill, yet staying grounded in reality that his death will happen and we have 6 months or less? This is an unknown arena for me.
As much as anyone hopes or prays that things will change for Bill, it isn't going to happen.Now, I'm not being pessimistic or negative or dramatic, I'm being realistic.
Bill opted not to have the heart transplant for many personal reasons.I agree with his decision not to do it. Accepting this sentence we've been handed has not been an easy task at all.
Knowing how much time one has left isn't liberating at all. The knowledge doesn't set you free and make it all Mary Poppins better.
Yesterday, Bill had some serious swelling in places where no swelling should be. So around midnight off we all go to the ER. Good thing Bill had the forethought to pack a bag. Not only was he admitted, he was transported to a bigger hospital in Asheville that is a cardiac hospital.
The swelling was Congestive Heart failure, or the start. My emotions are all over the place. It isn't like I didn't know this was coming. But how do I walk the fine line between being positive and upbeat for bill, yet staying grounded in reality that his death will happen and we have 6 months or less? This is an unknown arena for me.
As much as anyone hopes or prays that things will change for Bill, it isn't going to happen.Now, I'm not being pessimistic or negative or dramatic, I'm being realistic.
Bill opted not to have the heart transplant for many personal reasons.I agree with his decision not to do it. Accepting this sentence we've been handed has not been an easy task at all.
Knowing how much time one has left isn't liberating at all. The knowledge doesn't set you free and make it all Mary Poppins better.
Total Comments 3
Comments
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You will fine the strength you need to get through whatever is ahead. Keep us posted and we'll all be keeping you and Bill in our thoughts.Posted 08-08-2008 at 09:07 PM by Wayland Woman
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My heart and thoughts go out to both of you. May you find peace and comfort together. Lots of love.Posted 08-08-2008 at 11:08 PM by mysticfire0213
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Pam, I think I understand Bills not accepting the transplant, knowing what an agonizing thing it is for the patient and his loved ones..Seems that every waking moment and every dream is about "waiting"..My friend went through that and finally took himkself off the list so that he could embrace with dignity and precious quality time with his family..He is miraculously still alive and making the best of each day as it may very well be the last..Prayers and hugs to Bill's strength and for your love and understanding of his wishes..Posted 08-09-2008 at 03:33 AM by Miss Blue
