Wife lied to me about her past for 10 years
Posted 04-09-2023 at 08:49 AM by Aussieman87
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aussieman87
I've been with my wife for about 10 years now. Married for 7years. Have kids.
When we started dating we spoke aboit each others pasts and relationships and she told me she had a boyfriend. In conversations then i asked her if she had any terminated pregnancies or miscarriages and she said she hadnt had sex with her guy.
Fast forward to 4 years ago i found some old pics of her and her ex making out and asked her and then she said she had sex once with protection but it was more like an in out thing just to try, but never actually went ahead and didnt want to talk further about it because she didnt want to even try that but he asked to try but stopped there.
Fast forward to 2 nights ago, i was clearing our old usbs and find a letter of hers from 12 years ago to her friend stating she was not only dating the guy but was also engaged to him(which she denied to me when one of our common friend told us she was engaged in the past) and the letter also mentioned she had a miscarriage .
Im very hurt that she has lied to me especially when i have asked her about it. She addressed the engagement part and said it was just something they both spoke about and few friends knew but it wasnt official with any proposal. But she is diverting the miscarriage topic and blaming me for being disrespectful for asking .
I know it happened before my time and it doesnt affect me in any way but its the lies that is really bothering me and making me wonder that if she has lied to my face about such big stuff like miscarriage then what else has she lied about... (she even lied about it to doctor when they asked what number pregnancy we were at - we had 1 miscarriage 3 years ago and she would always count that).
Need advise and help how i should clear my head...
When we started dating we spoke aboit each others pasts and relationships and she told me she had a boyfriend. In conversations then i asked her if she had any terminated pregnancies or miscarriages and she said she hadnt had sex with her guy.
Fast forward to 4 years ago i found some old pics of her and her ex making out and asked her and then she said she had sex once with protection but it was more like an in out thing just to try, but never actually went ahead and didnt want to talk further about it because she didnt want to even try that but he asked to try but stopped there.
Fast forward to 2 nights ago, i was clearing our old usbs and find a letter of hers from 12 years ago to her friend stating she was not only dating the guy but was also engaged to him(which she denied to me when one of our common friend told us she was engaged in the past) and the letter also mentioned she had a miscarriage .
Im very hurt that she has lied to me especially when i have asked her about it. She addressed the engagement part and said it was just something they both spoke about and few friends knew but it wasnt official with any proposal. But she is diverting the miscarriage topic and blaming me for being disrespectful for asking .
I know it happened before my time and it doesnt affect me in any way but its the lies that is really bothering me and making me wonder that if she has lied to my face about such big stuff like miscarriage then what else has she lied about... (she even lied about it to doctor when they asked what number pregnancy we were at - we had 1 miscarriage 3 years ago and she would always count that).
Need advise and help how i should clear my head...
EDIT - the miscarriage wasnt true and something she made up to tell the friend because of some personal crap going on with her then. She was also not engaged officially but the ex used to tell his friends.
This opened a different can of worms where she admitted she was sexually active with him often, had a few drunk one night stands with some close friends after he ended up cheating on her and she was in a bad place and im in a dark mental space now knowing that she hid all this from me for almost 10 years even when i asked her about it when we would talk about eachothers pasts.
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