a lot has happened
So last night you sent me a text that you aren't with brittany anymore. I don't know what I'm supposed to say to that, because it had nothing to do with me. I am just hoping that you saw how negatively it affected our son, and gave him the wrong impression on what was ok and not ok. She was not a stranger to him, and the lies you told about her and you two being together, while choosing her over him time and time again, were so hurtful to him. So, I am glad in that aspect. Of course, I don't know that this will be your final decision, and you didn't offer anymore information on the matter to go on, and I'm not asking. Mostly because you don't answer me when I ask about anything to do with her, but also if you did, I don't have any trust in what you say anymore. So looks like we are both single again, since the guy I was seeing, just kinda quit interacting with me, but seems to think it is I that stopped talking to him. Oh well, what do ya do.
Thanksgiving was so so very rough. I was told by you that you would be moving over the holiday, so I would have JC. I had planned on packing, and since I had him Halloween, according to your every other holiday deal, he was to be with you. I resigned that I would have to celebrate this holiday since he would be with me, but wasn't in the holiday mood. So I had four different invites for him and I, and was deciding which one to accept, when you said you were then going to have him on Thanksgiving. Ok, I turned down all invites, and was sad, but knew he would have a good time with you making dinner. I then find out that you plan on him spending Tday with Gibbons. Not you and Gibbons, just Gibbons, so you can spend it with Brittany and her family at your new apt Jacobey was so excited to be at with you. WHAT THE ****? You take him from me for the holiday, after you have only spent 15 minutes in the last two weeks with him, just to NOT even spend it with him? And have her and hers there the very first day in your apt after telling me you plan on spending some alone time to work on your feelings and such. Damn, that is cold hearted ****. So when you call me on Tday, I confront you and you say that it has changed again, because, (shocking) Jc tells you he wants to spend the holiday with you and not away from family all together. You acted like this was unexpected. How can you really be that clueless? OF COURSE, HE WANTS TO BE WITH YOU. So now your other statement from the the previous weeks of keeping him and Brittany away from each other for his sake, is also a lie. You tell me that there is nothing you can do about it, they are already coming over. REALLY? YOU CAN'T SAY, MY SON IS SPENDING IT WITH ME, AND HES MOST IMPORTANT? Nope, not you, you want your cake and eat it too like always. So now Im alone,; no son, no family, turned down all my plans, and get to sit thru the day knowing this family holiday is getting spent without me, with a different family and our son and my husband.. Very ****ing nice, but in your famous words, "i had no intention of hurting you>" wow, that excuse, along with "sorry and I love you" means ****. You have got to start taking responsibility for your own choices and words. Grow up, please. So I am shaking and crying, and want to go beat the **** out of her, only because I can't beat the **** out of you, and tell you I am on my way to get my key and garage opener from you, then as I am in Wal mart, I calm down enough to tell myself, she is not worth jail or possibly losing my son, so I will go get the opener and get to give JC a hug for the holiday. So what do you do? Leave your house, because you are so intent on protecting on that snatch, and your intentions seeem to be exactly right with her, and take the keys and opener to my house and drop them off, so now I don't even get to hug my son. So now I want to kick her head in again, but at 90 plus miles an hour, I pass the exit to your festive party home, and keep driving and end up in Reno to save myself from jail, and from ruining JC's Thanksgiving. So I spend the next three days in Reno drinking myself to oblivion. Can't wait to see what fun you have for me on Christmas. Tho, I don't plan on having Christmas this year either, with no tree, cuz I gave it to you for JC, no presents, and no Christmas spirit for sure. I am barely hanging on to reality, and need this to be over so I can attempt to move on, since it is inevitable anyways. I tried everything in my power too stop all this, but you jsut got meaner and meaner with every attempt, so I am left with no recourse. I can say to my son one day that I did all I could to stop it, and before you left, I was still trying to do different things to fix it. I have that anyways. I hate that he won't have the things you had in your life, but he has more than I had, just with having a Dad that is around and a Mom and Dad that love him. I know I do everything I can to put him first, I can't say that about you, but you do love him and do your best most of the time, so I am grateful. He came back after Tday angry and hurt by you, saying you love Brittany and Cee Cee more than him. I told him that was NOT TRUE at all, it just feels like it right now because you are in dating mode, and can be yourself with him, but not with them yet. He didn't buy it, and it broke my heart. Of course I know you don't love them more, if at all, but I also know how it feels to have you treat others so much better. He says the morning of Tday, you yelled at him, told him to shut up and you didn't want to hear it, all in mean yelling tones. Then when Brittany and Cee Cee were talking and making noise as well, you were sweet and hugged them, but still grumpy to him. That is what gives him the perception that hurts him. But you know these things, and CAN control your temper with others or when others are around, but don't with him. It breaks my heart to see him hurt. It hurts me to see him go through the same thing I did and have for years from you.. Which is why I feel responsible.
Thanksgiving was so so very rough. I was told by you that you would be moving over the holiday, so I would have JC. I had planned on packing, and since I had him Halloween, according to your every other holiday deal, he was to be with you. I resigned that I would have to celebrate this holiday since he would be with me, but wasn't in the holiday mood. So I had four different invites for him and I, and was deciding which one to accept, when you said you were then going to have him on Thanksgiving. Ok, I turned down all invites, and was sad, but knew he would have a good time with you making dinner. I then find out that you plan on him spending Tday with Gibbons. Not you and Gibbons, just Gibbons, so you can spend it with Brittany and her family at your new apt Jacobey was so excited to be at with you. WHAT THE ****? You take him from me for the holiday, after you have only spent 15 minutes in the last two weeks with him, just to NOT even spend it with him? And have her and hers there the very first day in your apt after telling me you plan on spending some alone time to work on your feelings and such. Damn, that is cold hearted ****. So when you call me on Tday, I confront you and you say that it has changed again, because, (shocking) Jc tells you he wants to spend the holiday with you and not away from family all together. You acted like this was unexpected. How can you really be that clueless? OF COURSE, HE WANTS TO BE WITH YOU. So now your other statement from the the previous weeks of keeping him and Brittany away from each other for his sake, is also a lie. You tell me that there is nothing you can do about it, they are already coming over. REALLY? YOU CAN'T SAY, MY SON IS SPENDING IT WITH ME, AND HES MOST IMPORTANT? Nope, not you, you want your cake and eat it too like always. So now Im alone,; no son, no family, turned down all my plans, and get to sit thru the day knowing this family holiday is getting spent without me, with a different family and our son and my husband.. Very ****ing nice, but in your famous words, "i had no intention of hurting you>" wow, that excuse, along with "sorry and I love you" means ****. You have got to start taking responsibility for your own choices and words. Grow up, please. So I am shaking and crying, and want to go beat the **** out of her, only because I can't beat the **** out of you, and tell you I am on my way to get my key and garage opener from you, then as I am in Wal mart, I calm down enough to tell myself, she is not worth jail or possibly losing my son, so I will go get the opener and get to give JC a hug for the holiday. So what do you do? Leave your house, because you are so intent on protecting on that snatch, and your intentions seeem to be exactly right with her, and take the keys and opener to my house and drop them off, so now I don't even get to hug my son. So now I want to kick her head in again, but at 90 plus miles an hour, I pass the exit to your festive party home, and keep driving and end up in Reno to save myself from jail, and from ruining JC's Thanksgiving. So I spend the next three days in Reno drinking myself to oblivion. Can't wait to see what fun you have for me on Christmas. Tho, I don't plan on having Christmas this year either, with no tree, cuz I gave it to you for JC, no presents, and no Christmas spirit for sure. I am barely hanging on to reality, and need this to be over so I can attempt to move on, since it is inevitable anyways. I tried everything in my power too stop all this, but you jsut got meaner and meaner with every attempt, so I am left with no recourse. I can say to my son one day that I did all I could to stop it, and before you left, I was still trying to do different things to fix it. I have that anyways. I hate that he won't have the things you had in your life, but he has more than I had, just with having a Dad that is around and a Mom and Dad that love him. I know I do everything I can to put him first, I can't say that about you, but you do love him and do your best most of the time, so I am grateful. He came back after Tday angry and hurt by you, saying you love Brittany and Cee Cee more than him. I told him that was NOT TRUE at all, it just feels like it right now because you are in dating mode, and can be yourself with him, but not with them yet. He didn't buy it, and it broke my heart. Of course I know you don't love them more, if at all, but I also know how it feels to have you treat others so much better. He says the morning of Tday, you yelled at him, told him to shut up and you didn't want to hear it, all in mean yelling tones. Then when Brittany and Cee Cee were talking and making noise as well, you were sweet and hugged them, but still grumpy to him. That is what gives him the perception that hurts him. But you know these things, and CAN control your temper with others or when others are around, but don't with him. It breaks my heart to see him hurt. It hurts me to see him go through the same thing I did and have for years from you.. Which is why I feel responsible.
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