ON: (Is Seattle a) Good city for an introvert?
Quote:
Originally Posted by skidamarink
Is introvert just a nicer way of saying socially inept? Because that's mostly been my experience here, and no they are not all software geeks. I would like to know where you guys are meeting your friends if you claim you have such a large social network here. I've been attending Meetup.com events mostly and tend to find that the people who go to them are either not interested in hanging out outside of the Meetup event or they are extremely weird. And by weird I do not mean the cool, eccentric creative types. I mean people who don't know how to smile or laugh, just stare at you with this deer in headlights look the entire time. They could be autistic, but I doubt it I think they're just socially inept. But I come across A LOT of people like this in Seattle, from cashiers at stores to the people at Meetups. At first, I thought there was something wrong with my appearance or maybe I came off too strong but then I met a few normal girls at the Meetups and they all told me they feel the same about people here. I wish I could just meet more normal friends.
Uh, no, obviously not. Inappropriate stereotype. We drilled into this deeply in business school, our Managing & Leading in Organizations (MLO) profs went through all the tropes thoroughly, debunking some and explaining others in-detail over the course of a semester.
Sometimes is that stereotype correct, though? Absolutely! If Aspies is still on the DSM....I'm not really sure, now that DSM V is out...there are plenty of introverted people who find it almost literally painful to interact. That, to me, is rather-subjectively Aspergers or Schizoid Apathy. From a layman's perspective.
I'm closer to that end of the spectrum then not, manifested by "enjoying solitude" and "preferring privacy". Those are several root factors of what they generically call introversion; clearly there are others as-well.
* An introvert who wishes to socialize but cannot (for whatever reason) is one thing: socially anxious.
* Another type, polished and presentable but not really enjoying interacting with others, something else entirely: content to be alone, sometimes struggling with society's perceived "need" to draw us out into a realm we don't like.
I'm in the latter category. It drains me to interact with people too much or too often.
In my job, however, I do in-fact enjoy getting out and enjoying peers in-person, when IM/email/calls won't get the results. Amazing what one can learn, by popping in or scheduling small and to-the-point meetings. Spending a half-hour with our executive team during quarterly "meet the leadership" events illustrates the point to the nth-degree: all our leaders are dynamic and engaged. How they really feel about interacting with others is not revealed, as well it shouldn't be: leaders lead, via a certain set of known-effective behaviors. Moles remain individual contributors (IC) and that's that, for the most part.
To the question, I personally believe the BUSINESS culture of the dominant industries in Seattle support introversion: aircraft design and heavy manufacturing (plus associated industries), and information technology. Engineers, aerospace and computer, tend to be focused people. Focus requires quiet and solitude.
I look around at my place of business, and the overwhelming majority of us are "introverts". Most at a management level, like me, make a strong effort to engage with others though the subtle signs are clearly there that is not our respective preferred way to communicate.
Circling to OP, I only agree with the "Seattle Freeze" to the point that there are one, very many introverted people here; and two, an introvert trying to interact with other introverts can be like pulling teeth. I have made all the friends I need via shared interests, one of the ways men in-particular meet people.
Total Comments 0
