Tomorrow is a new day
Posted 06-03-2010 at 10:05 PM by EmmyNoether
Ever feel like you just can't deal anymore? Today I did. Sometimes I feel like I get to the end of the road and don't know how to contemplate moving forward. And the funny thing is, my life isn't that hard.
After a frustrating day of research (yesterday), I was burnt and really didn't accomplish very much at all. I worked, don't get me wrong, but I just didn't get anything tangible done - nothing that I can say: "tada! THIS was finished." In addition, I feel like all I do is play nurse. I love my mom, however this packing her wound is getting a bit old. Today, in particular, I lost it. She decided that the dressings were causing too much itching and cut them off by her self, scraping up the other part of her arm. I was on the phone at the time, and I got very very upset when I walked back into the room and noticed band-aids on an arm that should be wrapped, where it should have been wrapped. Of course, the packing that the ****-poor example of a nurse did fell out and I was struggling with repacking it. We made an agreement that if I didn't wrap it immediately with gauze (for her arm to breathe and stop itching), she was not to move. I take my eyes away for about 10 minutes, and she's holding up her arm commenting as to how my packing wasn't falling out... now, what she couldn't see is some of it was. I went berzerk. That's when I stormed out slammed the door and almost punched a wall. (I'm thinking at this point I'll be a terrible mother.) Then, in true form, broke down crying. I repacked it completely for the second time... and held back from screaming at my mom because by that point she was a basket case from me being upset with her.
Nonetheless, today I feel like just giving up. Which is what I'm doing. I'm going to stop writing, close the computer and go to bed. Tomorrow is a new day. And that is part of a good defense, recognizing that each day is a new golden day of glorious opportunities.
After a frustrating day of research (yesterday), I was burnt and really didn't accomplish very much at all. I worked, don't get me wrong, but I just didn't get anything tangible done - nothing that I can say: "tada! THIS was finished." In addition, I feel like all I do is play nurse. I love my mom, however this packing her wound is getting a bit old. Today, in particular, I lost it. She decided that the dressings were causing too much itching and cut them off by her self, scraping up the other part of her arm. I was on the phone at the time, and I got very very upset when I walked back into the room and noticed band-aids on an arm that should be wrapped, where it should have been wrapped. Of course, the packing that the ****-poor example of a nurse did fell out and I was struggling with repacking it. We made an agreement that if I didn't wrap it immediately with gauze (for her arm to breathe and stop itching), she was not to move. I take my eyes away for about 10 minutes, and she's holding up her arm commenting as to how my packing wasn't falling out... now, what she couldn't see is some of it was. I went berzerk. That's when I stormed out slammed the door and almost punched a wall. (I'm thinking at this point I'll be a terrible mother.) Then, in true form, broke down crying. I repacked it completely for the second time... and held back from screaming at my mom because by that point she was a basket case from me being upset with her.
Nonetheless, today I feel like just giving up. Which is what I'm doing. I'm going to stop writing, close the computer and go to bed. Tomorrow is a new day. And that is part of a good defense, recognizing that each day is a new golden day of glorious opportunities.
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