End of My Rope (almost)
Posted 04-10-2010 at 12:24 PM by soulsurv
Yeah, I'm pretty much there. Haven't slept for the last few nights due to Mom's calling me constantly...pretty much every half hour-on-the-hour. So I'm pretty punchy. It feels like some kind of freakish nightmare. Most of the time she just wants to know where I am. Sometimes we cry together...sometimes I give her pain meds or mild sedatives if she needs them. She's just fading away, and it is utterly HORRIBLE to watch. I now often lower the rail to the hospital bed, and gather her in my arms and talk softly of Heaven and of meeting our Saviour. She is very happy to go.
I went to purchase new sneakers the other day during my time "off" and burst into tears without even knowing they were coming. They're sneaky that way
I was thoroughly embarrassed and had to leave the store.
More and more often I find myself daydreaming of quiet, hidden beaches....walking along with Luna, the Doberman...a cool, crisp day with the ocean breeze blowing and the wonderful salt air. It's my mental escape.
I went to purchase new sneakers the other day during my time "off" and burst into tears without even knowing they were coming. They're sneaky that way
I was thoroughly embarrassed and had to leave the store.More and more often I find myself daydreaming of quiet, hidden beaches....walking along with Luna, the Doberman...a cool, crisp day with the ocean breeze blowing and the wonderful salt air. It's my mental escape.
Total Comments 3
Comments
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I must say that I understand how you are feeling. My Mom died in 2004 from pancreactic cancer, she was in in pain constantly and from hospice to a nursing home. My Mom just lived a month after that. I know the pain that you are experiencing. You need to find something, anything to focus on. Try to get a day or so, an hour or so just to clear your mind. Spend time with her, but give yourself a break too. you will be crushed once she dies,allow your self and feel the pain, but you are going to need some quiet time for yourself too. Otherwise, you will find it difficult to go on without her.Posted 04-10-2010 at 01:19 PM by Karnita
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I can say i know how you are feeling. I watched as my mom slowly slipped away and there was not a thing that i could to, except give pain pills or hugs. My mother passed 2 years ago and I still feel that I should of done more. I was with her when she passed, it was hard but I wouldnt of missed seeing the smile on her face as I knew that she was at peace, without the pain, that helped alot. You do need your time though just to regroup and so you dont get burned out. Just remember that you are doing everything possible for her even if its just sitting there. Hang in there, but get some time for you.Posted 04-11-2010 at 02:35 PM by torrington native
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Thanks so much to both of you. Greatly appreciate you sharing and support
Posted 04-12-2010 at 05:48 AM by soulsurv
