Marriage & Relationships

sexuality is a beautiful gift. each of us , have within us to express that sexuality in the most enjoyable & meaningful way, physically, emotionally & spiritually

the connection between a man & a woman is a special one-its a gift.

what I will try to do in this thread is to try to explore this gift & how it can be utilized in the best possible way

in order to do so, I am required to be transparent of my own view. I respect all views that differ from mine, understand that there can be many legitimate perspectives on every subject-especially sexuality. & at the same time , a lot can be gained from the perspective that I will share even if at the end of the day many of you may differ & follow a different course. That is ok. we can all nevertheless learn from each other to take the good ideas & apply them to make our lives better & richer

the ultimate beauty of the man & woman relationship is the one is a monogamous relationship when 2 souls connect as one-physically, emotionally & spiritually & here in healthy marriages sexuality is vibrant, beautiful & exciting & can remain so all through their lives-& they are best friends too. deep friendship & true love go hand in hand..

that being said, there is a gentleness & gift of friendships outside of marriage. That also can include deep friendships between a man & a woman. But as I will demonstrate over the course of this thread, those deep friendships only last & is sustained when it is non-sexual because only then can you see that person without the complicated tangle of sexual feelings that can inhibit that deep friendship (why marriage is different & why in marriage sexuality is deeply crucial to that dynamic while sex is counterproductive in other male/female connections will also be discussed)

a healthy approach when there is male /female interaction is to determine early on if you feel this person can indeed become your husband or wife. if its clear at the outset, that this person is a wonderful person but not for me to marry, it is then that you can develop a deep friendship in a non-sexual way that can be deeply satisfying & rewarding, without unhealthy emotional dependency & at the same time emotionally healthy & rewarding

this concept can be hard to grasp but it is very simple. there is a deep caring for a friend, including a friend of the opposite gender, that can be very healthy without unhealthy strings attached. you may feel a physical attraction but you will not exploit it, you may enjoy that person's wit or status or wealth or ability, but its not of these things that are the real reason you want to be in their lives-you love them for who they are. & in most cases, infusing sexuality into such a relationship can hurt it deeply while respecting the borders paradoxically strengthens the real love of that friendship...