Ignorance is this
Posted 07-26-2016 at 05:42 PM by homina12
I need to make a big change, and I worry that it's too late. My life is.....confused. Off course and in a thick fog. The fog won't lift on it's own, and I have four decades waiting that proves this is so. I have to burn through it somehow.
Somehow?
I don't have time or light to retrace the course I might have taken the past forty years, and I can't in one hazy moment leap across those 40 years either. If the answer lies back there I can't get to it, and besides, with it being so late and with me so far off course would knowing matter now anyway? Likely not.
And what if I learn now, at 59, what I needed to know at 19. That life isn't fair and that's OK because it has to be OK. That all I can do is set the best course I can, raise my sails and hope for a fair wind. What if knowing that clears the skies and lets me believe that???? But wait. What kind of cruel irony provides that answer today after all these years wasted hiding from that answer? WTF if I learn that simple lesson today when it's too late to apply it in any meaningful way? What if it's just too effing late?
And then that annoying voice in my head asks this.
"And what if it's not?"
Somehow?
I don't have time or light to retrace the course I might have taken the past forty years, and I can't in one hazy moment leap across those 40 years either. If the answer lies back there I can't get to it, and besides, with it being so late and with me so far off course would knowing matter now anyway? Likely not.
And what if I learn now, at 59, what I needed to know at 19. That life isn't fair and that's OK because it has to be OK. That all I can do is set the best course I can, raise my sails and hope for a fair wind. What if knowing that clears the skies and lets me believe that???? But wait. What kind of cruel irony provides that answer today after all these years wasted hiding from that answer? WTF if I learn that simple lesson today when it's too late to apply it in any meaningful way? What if it's just too effing late?
And then that annoying voice in my head asks this.
"And what if it's not?"
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Comments
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hello
my name is GENERAL PATRICIA HOROHO i saw your profile i diside to contact you please write through my private email [ [email]patricia.horoho12@yahoo.com[/email] ]so that i can tell you about my self don,t be offended for writing you i realy want to discuss with youPosted 07-27-2016 at 12:59 PM by patriciahoroho12
