This blog is an open detailing of my recovery from an intense emotional affair. It has been said that in order to recover from an affair, whether physical or not, one must not be afraid to write down feelings. By being open with my feelings and not hiding them anymore, I am making a effort to hold myself accountable for my affair. This is an ongoing recovery and I have no clue how it will play out. But I need to share, to process what I've done, and to learn how to forgive myself.
I'm Not Ok
Posted 10-29-2015 at 07:46 PM by April R
I'm not ok. I've hit the lowest point since this whole thing started. I am a bad person. I realize I don't deserve happiness. I can't make anyone else happy either. Everything I want is wrong. What is the point in staying and making everyone miserable with my presence? I not a good wife, I'm not a good mother, I'm not a good person.
Total Comments 2
Comments
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Keep telling yourself that, eventually you'll believe it.
You're in a marriage that is at least as good, if not better than most. It sounds like your hubby is very understanding and forgiving.
You have kids. Not everyone has that chance.
I don't get the feeling you are a bad person, just someone in search of...something.
You need an outlet - someone to talk to about what you perceive to be the issues in your life. You chose the wrong person before, but you have an opportunity to make the right choice moving forward. Not everyone hits a homerun every time they step to the plate.
I'm sure you already know this, but there are waaay more people in worse shape than you.Posted 10-30-2015 at 08:29 AM by reds37win
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I do know that I am very lucky, which makes my actions even more inexplicable and upsetting.Quote:Originally Posted by reds37win
Keep telling yourself that, eventually you'll believe it.
You're in a marriage that is at least as good, if not better than most. It sounds like your hubby is very understanding and forgiving.
You have kids. Not everyone has that chance.
I don't get the feeling you are a bad person, just someone in search of...something.
You need an outlet - someone to talk to about what you perceive to be the issues in your life. You chose the wrong person before, but you have an opportunity to make the right choice moving forward. Not everyone hits a homerun every time they step to the plate.
I'm sure you already know this, but there are waaay more people in worse shape than you.
And I don't think OG is the wrong person at all, I think we let ourselves cross a very scared line, but it's not the end of our friendship. We had a long talk today and worked a lot of things out. We both agreed no more crossing that line.
I don't think we need to stop talking altogether, we do really care about each other and want the best for each other and that can't be a bad thing.Posted 10-30-2015 at 08:28 PM by April R
