"Plenty of fish in the sea"... That depends.
My response to a thread asking about the truth to the saying that "there are plenty of fish in the sea".
I don't believe there are many/plenty for me considering the following figures against me:
I'm a black American woman. The majority of men anywhere nearby are non-black and not as attracted to black women as they are to non-black women. I'm attracted to all kinds and cultures of good men, but most of them are not attracted to me.
I'm atheist. The majority of people are theists and I find no spiritual happiness with someone who doesn't share or understand my beliefs and who I can't comfort because I don't share theirs.
I'm an INTJ personality, only about 1% of women are. An overwhelming majority of people find me to be incompatible with their personality. Although the majority of INTJ people are men, but sameness doesn't necessarily equal strong romantic compatibility.
I'm overweight. The majority of women anywhere but Samoa are not, and this creates more competition. Most men don't prefer overweight women as their ideal, even though they may find us attractive.
I'm scarred. Most men will not find this to be attractive, but disgusting, considering it to be abnormal compared to most women who have finer complexions. It will be a very rare guy who will accept scars on a woman, not plenty.
I refuse to straighten my hair. My genetics are programmed to grow coily spirals in the shape of the golden spiral that rules symmetry in the universe, from the roots of my head. Although it is magnificent, most men are not attracted to this look on a woman. The majority of women in the world have less magnificent, frail, ribbony hair strands, and that is what most men find more attractive and feminine.
Therefore, I don't mathematically have "plenty of fish in the sea" so the saying is false in relation to me. I will eventually have to settle once I start dating. But I suppose it wouldn't be settling if the guy accepts me as I am and thinks I'm extraordinary, the best thing on this here yonder of the universe, because that would be who I want. Or, to go through "plenty," I could stress myself out trying to fit into the mould of a woman who's slender with perfect skin, narrow features and ribbony hair... become common.
We don't need plenty to choose from, just a few of the best fits for each of us.
I don't believe there are many/plenty for me considering the following figures against me:
I'm a black American woman. The majority of men anywhere nearby are non-black and not as attracted to black women as they are to non-black women. I'm attracted to all kinds and cultures of good men, but most of them are not attracted to me.
I'm atheist. The majority of people are theists and I find no spiritual happiness with someone who doesn't share or understand my beliefs and who I can't comfort because I don't share theirs.
I'm an INTJ personality, only about 1% of women are. An overwhelming majority of people find me to be incompatible with their personality. Although the majority of INTJ people are men, but sameness doesn't necessarily equal strong romantic compatibility.
I'm overweight. The majority of women anywhere but Samoa are not, and this creates more competition. Most men don't prefer overweight women as their ideal, even though they may find us attractive.
I'm scarred. Most men will not find this to be attractive, but disgusting, considering it to be abnormal compared to most women who have finer complexions. It will be a very rare guy who will accept scars on a woman, not plenty.
I refuse to straighten my hair. My genetics are programmed to grow coily spirals in the shape of the golden spiral that rules symmetry in the universe, from the roots of my head. Although it is magnificent, most men are not attracted to this look on a woman. The majority of women in the world have less magnificent, frail, ribbony hair strands, and that is what most men find more attractive and feminine.
Therefore, I don't mathematically have "plenty of fish in the sea" so the saying is false in relation to me. I will eventually have to settle once I start dating. But I suppose it wouldn't be settling if the guy accepts me as I am and thinks I'm extraordinary, the best thing on this here yonder of the universe, because that would be who I want. Or, to go through "plenty," I could stress myself out trying to fit into the mould of a woman who's slender with perfect skin, narrow features and ribbony hair... become common.
We don't need plenty to choose from, just a few of the best fits for each of us.
Total Comments 2
Comments
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In order to have what you have never had you have to do what you have never done.
The first step I would take is to get rid of the profile picture that you have and put one up that actually shows what you really look like, because you don't look overweight in this pic. Your insecurities will only subside once you face who you really are. The best thing you can do is be 100% real.
Second, you need to separate yourself from your male friend that you mentioned in your last blog post. Your love and infatuation for him is continuing to contribute to your emotional unavailability. No man wants to compete with another for your heart.
Third, stop staying that there are not enough fish out there. There are plenty of men that will gladly SLEEP with you. However, as many women are discovering....men are even more picky when it comes to setting down.
The best thing you can do is deal with your insecurity and take some time to learn how men think and what it will take to land a good one. I could go on an on. Message me if you want some resources. I know where you can get more clarity.Posted 03-18-2015 at 02:56 AM by usamathman
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Thanks for your comment. Im sorry I didnt notice your comment until now, but I would like to respond.Quote:Originally Posted by usamathman
In order to have what you have never had you have to do what you have never done.
The first step I would take is to get rid of the profile picture that you have and put one up that actually shows what you really look like, because you don't look overweight in this pic. Your insecurities will only subside once you face who you really are. The best thing you can do is be 100% real.
Second, you need to separate yourself from your male friend that you mentioned in your last blog post. Your love and infatuation for him is continuing to contribute to your emotional unavailability. No man wants to compete with another for your heart.
Third, stop staying that there are not enough fish out there. There are plenty of men that will gladly SLEEP with you. However, as many women are discovering....men are even more picky when it comes to setting down.
The best thing you can do is deal with your insecurity and take some time to learn how men think and what it will take to land a good one. I could go on an on. Message me if you want some resources. I know where you can get more clarity.
Im not insecure about my looks. I have scars, I have deformities, my hair tangles into knots at the ends, my breasts point directly to the ground and Im overweight although it might be particularly difficult to classify me as fat. Im no slender lady, and thats okay with me.
I dont mention imperfections as self deprecation, I mention them to facilitate perspective and honesty, having comfort with them by being able to talk about them as being real instead of pretending to only have commonly adored features. I accept theyre a part of me.
Im not crying because Im scarred up, Im crying because I havent found anyone drawn to me who wants me enough to not care about the scars or the fat or the deformities, and I dont shy away from truths merely because theyre not flattering. I dont have a boyfriend because no one Im interested in is attracted to me. Not because I dont accept who and what I am.Posted 06-21-2015 at 08:02 AM by Yiuppy
