The One That Got Away.

Never been a blogger myself but I am going though a bad time & some heartbreak so I figure why not.
Maybe if I write this down it will help some so here goes.
I fell in love with the most beautiful girl I had ever seen 21 years ago almost today. She was from Michigan & I was living in Florida. I had been working on this restaurant for over a year now third shift to be exact. She had dark hair & the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen before. Her name was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. I was a skinny 23 year old with big glasses on my face & I never thought she would notice me. She did for some reason we never dated I was too naive to see that she liked me she flirted with me but never really told me how she felt about me. I used to walk her home a lot because we worked third shift and of course I wanted to spend more time with her. I don't remember what we were talking about but I reached for her hand & held it the rest of the walk. I so badly wanted to kiss her but I was scared too. I wish I would of now thinking back about it. She had an 8 year old daughter then not that it matter to me I was in love & all was right with the world. She was only there for one year she left because her aunt was kicking her out & she had no other place to go. My world was destroyed & she was gone I was 24 when she left. For the first time I started drinking hard so hard there were times I wasn't able to remember my name. That went on for some 2 years. My mom called one day & said that my stepfather had died & she wanted to know if I'd come stay with her & help her out for a while. About two weeks before I had called this girl we talked & she finally told me how much she loved me & missed me. I left Florida to go stay with my mom in Ga. She & I kept in touch & talked everyday. She wanted to come down I was working again. Right before I left my dad had got out of jail, I won't go into what my dad did or anything just know he wasn't a good person not by any means. I was worried that now that he was out of jail he would find me & screw things up between her & I. Such was his way & he was VERY good at it! So I told her that I didn't think it would work out. It broke my heart to do this I had found her again & now I thought I was doing the right thing by getting her away from me. My dad never showed up. Go figure right? I tried to write to her & tell her I was a fool & that I loved her but she didn't want any part of me. For the next 20 years I dated even married a women that reminded me of her. I didn't see what I was doing at the time. One year ago after my wife walked out on me I had took in some room mates to help pay bills. I became very good friends with one of them & we started talking about the one that got away. I had just signed up for Face Book. He took the information & looked her up & messaged her I had no clue that he had done this. We started talking again. The sun had come back out & my life was good again & I had her back. She was unemployed & had been engaged to some guy for seven years he cheated on her. We've been talking for over a year now. She was supposed to come down last year but things didn't work out. A couple of days ago she said she wasn't sure if things were going to work out with us. She had more then one chance to come down but never did. So she started to question how she felt about me & asked herself why she can't seem to bring herself to come her even for a visit. So here we are she is having second thoughts about us. I know this is going to end bad for me. But I felt I needed to see this to help me thought i