I caught an old episode of the "Waltons" last night and it brought me back to my childhood. (Back to "simplier" times!)...My Dad used to call my younger son "John Boy" when he was small. My son loved it! (And remembered it all his life.)...You'd never catch my older son watching old reruns of the "Waltons" or "Little House on the Prairie." But my younger son loved watching these shows because they gave him a "window" into the past. And they were about families...My older son took pride in being a "modern" and "with the times" kind of guy! I'm sure he viewed the rest of us as "old grey mares" because we enjoyed telling "tales" from the past. And taking trips down "memory lane."...My younger son "ate" it all "up" and kept begging for "more" when we started sharing stories from the past. He said this gave him a chance to get to know us even "better." And he loved hearing about life back in the "old days."...Both of my sons are gone now along with my husband and parents and everyone else. I am the only "apple" left on my "family tree." Watching the old episode of the "Waltons" last night helped me feel like I was part of a family again. (And this was sure nice!)
Be careful about what you "say!"...Hidden rules and regulations in relationships!
Posted 04-28-2013 at 10:13 AM by CArizona
Are we looking for "yes people" when we hook-up with new friends? (People who will always agree with us?)...Or are we searching for some diversity? And challenges?...I spend most of my time as a loner. (Outside groups.) So everytime I step-out and dare to open my mouth I can come across as an "oddball."...I honestly believe that we have a great deal to learn from each other. But we can "block" new insights and knowledge from "coming in" if we surround ourselves with "like-minded thinkers." ("Birds of the same feather!") How do you feel about it?
Total Comments 153
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Some friendships (or marriages) just aren't destined to last forever...Everything may seem "peachy keen" and "picture perfect" in the early stages. But how long will the novelty or "honeymoon phase" last?...Starting a new relationship always reminds me of how I feel when I go shopping for shoes...A pair of shoes may feel great and wonderful and comfortable in the store. But once I bring the shoes home and start wearing them (on a regular basis) they might feel "too tight" or "too loose" or even create blisters!...What seemed like a "perfect fit" in the store turned out to be a "nightmare."...I was lucky when I met my husband because we turned out to be a "good fit" and "great match" for nearly 30 years...But there's no telling how things will "work-out" when we meet new people. (Friends or "love interests.")...Will the relationship be "rewarding?" And a "good fit?" Or not?Posted 09-19-2013 at 06:27 PM by CArizona
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Normally I only see or talk to friends once in awhile...I'm used to "going it alone" and dealing with issues in my life by myself...Every so often I "touch base" with friends to see how they're "doing." And I "share" what I've been "doing" (and going through) in my life too...I'm not really used to having "everyday friends."..Well, my husband and younger son were my "everyday friends" when they were alive. (And vica-versa.)...We were all part of the same basic "culture" and understood each other really well. It was nice!..I sure miss them!!Posted 09-21-2013 at 09:18 AM by CArizona
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I've tried not to "lump" all men or all women together in a "box." (As in gender stereotyping.)...I know we all receive a certain amount of "programming" based on our gender. (From birth.) And maybe we do "adopt" some behaviors and tendencies that are "gender-based." But still, I want to treat each person who crosses my path as an "individual."...I don't want to make "broad assumptions" that may or may not be accurate...As a mom I didn't want to have any built-in "negatives" towards my sons just because they happened to be males...Or make assumptions about the girls they dated based on the fact that they were females, etc...Maybe we can't shake-off all of our "programming" and "conditioning." But I don't want to get all caught-up in stereotyping when it comes to any group...I don't want to hate and avoid all dogs just because I ran into one dog who tried to attack me. (Which I did a few years back!)...All dogs are not "the same." And all men or all women aren't exactly "the same" either!!.. How do you feel about it?Posted 09-23-2013 at 07:09 AM by CArizona
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I've been a "drop-out" lately. ("Hibernating.")...I keep to myself most of the time. Make my own decisions. Process my "stuff" in private...Just "going it alone." And doing okay...But I miss "writing." So I decided to do some blogging again.Posted 10-08-2013 at 01:36 PM by CArizona
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I like to be around friends (and people) who still have somewhat of a "kid" left inside of them...I'm not talking about being reckless or self-destructive. Just a playful and fun-loving nature that always seems to "bubble-up" to the surface. (No matter what!)...I never want to be a total and complete "sour puss." Or a die-hard "cynic."...My parents went through "tough times" during the Depression and "Dust Bowl," etc. But they held-on to their sense of humor and "play." And this helped them get through situations that seemed like "hell on earth" at times or the "pit of despair," etc...I'm glad that I had good role-models when it comes to "picking" myself back "up." Or trying to find a little joy and humor in life despite all the "hardships," etc.Posted 10-25-2013 at 01:02 PM by CArizona
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Do you have people in your life who have a tendency to be "passive-aggressive?"...I don't consider myself "immune" from being "passive-aggressive." (At times.).. So I try to question myself about my behavior and my motives and intentions. (On a regular basis.)...I don't want to be "confusing." Or "play games" with the people in my life...It's so much better to be "upfront" and "crystal clear." Don't you think?..."Guessing games" can lead to assumptions and misunderstandings and "bad blood" in relationships. (Over time.)...I'd rather have trust and respect and "goodwill" versus "bad blood!" (And layers and layers of resentment!)Posted 10-27-2013 at 12:52 PM by CArizona
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It always ends-up the same way. Something always goes "haywire!"...Have you ever gone back to a former spouse or friend (or family member) expecting things to be different the next time around?..At first, things do seem better. But it doesn't take long before the old issues pop-up again. And you find yourself back in the "same boat!"...Nothing has changed. It's the very same "script" played-out over and over again. YUKKO!...How many "go-rounds" does it take to finally "wake-up?" Two, three, or four times?...Every once in awhile, a relationship can be "transformed." But it takes a lot of work and effort to avoid the old "traps." And it takes work and "mind-power" to chart a brand new "course" and direction..It's not healthy to wind-up in the same "old boat" over and over again. (Feeling like a "yo-yo!")..I'm a little bit leery these days when it comes to "rehashing" former relationships. (Relationships that turn "negative" after the "honeymoon phase" wears-off.)..No thank you! And no more!!Posted 12-12-2013 at 02:39 PM by CArizona
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I probably do best as a "loner." (Most of the time anyway.)...I wouldn't want to live all alone on an island in total isolation. YUK! But I don't want to become a "social butterfly" (either) and spend every waking moment surrounded by other people. This would just be "too much" for me. I'd feel "suffocated."...I grew-up as an only child so I'm used to "amusing myself" and being on my "own." Thank goodness I have these traits and qualities because my husband and sons and other family members died and left me "behind.".. I miss everyone "like crazy" but I know how to be alone and "survive."..I'm grateful for my friends and the people who are "still here." They give me a hug and "hello" every so often so I don't feel totally "all alone" (all the time) and completely abandoned...But the truth is, I need a lot of time by myself. This is just my nature. (I guess.)...And I'm glad that I'm not "pressured" or "prodded" to get together with friends all the time...I like to "call the shots" when it comes to socializing. But I'd "drop everything" and be there in a "flash" if a friend needed me. And I could "help" in some way...How about you? Are you a "loner" or "social butterfly?" Or someplace in the "middle?"Posted 01-02-2014 at 09:30 AM by CArizona
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I don't claim to be an "expert" when it comes to having friends. (Since I have a tendency to be more of a loner.)...None of us are exactly the "same." My "ways" may be the total opposite of someone else's "ways." (Or "wants" or "needs," etc.)...My thoughts and feelings and interests may bore someone else to death. (And vica-versa!)...So I know that I'm in for some "work" when I have friends. I want to understand the people in my life. (As much as possible!)...And it's nice when friends try to understand me. This way, we can all grow closer and closer over time..It definitely takes "work" and effort to get to know people on "deeper-levels." Don't you think?Posted 01-16-2014 at 09:47 AM by CArizona
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Life seems so much easier when we spend time with "like-minded friends." Don't you think?...I'm talking about friends who share our basic values and interests and points of view...Friends who take the time to try to understand who we are. And friends who value and appreciate us even though we're far from perfect and make mistakes and say the "wrong thing" once in awhile...Life is full of "fair-weather friends" who come and go and disappear...Some friendships have "shallow roots" or never really take "root" at all. Everything may seem "peachy keen" and "picture-perfect" right at the beginning of a relationship. But it can all be an illusion... Something "small" can cause a "rift" and "rupture" and lead to a "split." (Because the friendship wasn't built on solid ground or "deep enough" to withstand all of the "elements." Or ups and downs of life.)Posted 03-27-2014 at 11:24 AM by CArizona
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Have you run into friends who expect you to be their "side-kick?"...I can be a good "side-kick" friend at times. But not indefinitely...And vica-versa. I can't expect friends to be a "mirror-image" of me. (With no "self" or wants and needs of their own.)...How do we "juggle" all of it? How can we "be there" for others while retaining our own identity?...I feel like I'm back in kindergarten when it comes to friendships. I still have a lot to learn...But I'm trying! And each day I learn something "new." (Which is great!)Posted 04-03-2014 at 10:23 AM by CArizona
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Friend or foe? Nice or nasty?...Sometimes, it's hard to know how the people in our life will "react." (From moment to moment.)...Will they respond to something we say with sarcasm? Or a "snide-remark?" Or "put-down?"...If we catch them on a "good day," maybe we'll get a "pleasant response." And graciousness and consideration...Hard to tell. Hard to know (for sure) because some people can be "wishy-washy" and unpredictable. Inconsistent...Maybe it's best to say nothing or "very little" to avoid being "attacked." Or "put-down." Or the "butt" of someone's joke...It's so much nicer to be around consistent and predictable friends (or family members) who don't "swing" back and forth when it comes to their moods...It's definitely "safer." Don't you think?Posted 04-06-2014 at 03:14 PM by CArizona
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A friend tried to pull me into a "heated" political debate this morning...Thankfully, I managed to stay "calm, cool and collected" and didn't take the "bait!"...YUK! I didn't want to fight and get all "worked-up" or "frazzled!"...Eventually, my friend calmed down when she saw that I wasn't going to play "boxing-match."...The conversation became more friendly. And less "emotional."...My friend stopping trying to "wage" a "war!"...This friend complains about having high blood pressure all the time. Yet, she's "famous" for getting angry and all "worked-up" and "emotional" over the slightest little thing...Normally, she doesn't try to pull me into debates. But I guess her other friends were all busy today. (Her "hot-headed" friends! And "boxing-match buddies!")Posted 04-11-2014 at 02:09 PM by CArizona
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I think we all have an "agenda." (Of one kind or another.)...When we're at work, our boss (usually) sets the "agenda" for us...But what "drives" (or motivates) us during our "off-hours?".. What's "behind" what we say, or do, or want, etc.?...I try to take time "out" to examine my motives. What am I "after?" What do I hope to "gain?" (From my choices and interactions in life.)...And likewise, what do other people want and expect from me? What's their (possible) "agenda?"...Even my cat has an "agenda!" And wants and "wishes" of her own!Posted 04-11-2014 at 03:05 PM by CArizona
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I wonder if we've all developed shorter attention spans due to non-stop commercials on TV these days...What do you think?.. Just as soon as we get "engrossed" in a show or movie, everything "stops" for a commercial break. (Ongoing and repeated "breaks.")...I'm friends with a couple who have been avid TV-watchers all their lives. And they keep their TV on day and night. (Even when they have company.)...When I go to visit them, I know we're not going to do much talking. (Except during commercials.)...I love my friends and care about them a lot. But, I do get bored at times...They watch a lot of "crime-drama" and this isn't really my "bag." Oh well!Posted 04-13-2014 at 10:11 PM by CArizona
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How would you rate your "happiness?" Nobody is one hundred percent "happy" all the time...Sometimes, life throws us a few "curve balls." Or "crud" gets dumped on our lap...I think it depends on our ability to "bounce-back." And our desire to be "happy" as much as possible. (Even though we're going to face some "rough seas" and "crud" along the way.)...What do you think?...I don't want to be a "sad sack" forever. Or "waddle" in misery and self-pity. (Day and night!) This doesn't feel "good."...We can blame other people for making us "unhappy." But what about ourselves?.. I know I have to take responsibility for my "happiness" or "unhappiness" in the final outcome...A "magic fairy" isn't going to come to my "rescue" and sprinkle "happy dust" on me! My state of mind is my responsibility! And it's my "job" to keep "bouncing-back!" (No matter what!)Posted 04-17-2014 at 09:04 AM by CArizona
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Every now and then, I receive a lot of phone calls (in a row) from friends. (Especially on holidays.)...It's nice to hear from everyone. The calls can really "perk me up!" I'm alone and on my "own" most of the time. So, it feels good to have some "back and forth" with friends... But, all the phone calls (in a row) can "wear me out" too! And "drain" me! Phew!...I'm just not used to being a "motor-mouth" anymore. Or listening to other people talk non-stop, etc...It can be overwhelming! Too much of a "good thing!"...I'm glad my phone doesn't ring "off the hook" every single day! Nice to have "breaks" in between all of the talking!...Some phone calls can "last" 3 to 5 hours! I used to be able to do "marathon talking" but these days, I'm ready to say "goodbye" a little earlier...I guess I'm changing. I've been "all alone" and on my "own" for awhile now. (Since my family members died.) And I'm not used to constant and non-stop "chatter" anymore.Posted 04-26-2014 at 10:27 AM by CArizona
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Sometimes I wonder how people can justify being mean and "nasty." (On a fairly regular basis.)...Maybe they want to appear "tough" and "macho" so no one dares to "confront them." So no one tries to take advantage of them...Their "sharp tongue" and "belittling ways" serve as an "insurance policy" to keep others at "bay."...When I run into "nasty" people, I always think about the character Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz."...Dorothy didn't let the "wizard" scare her off with all of his "intimidation tactics." She had the guts and courage to pay the "wizard" a visit and put him in his "place."...A lot of people put up "smoke screens" and "growl" and "talk trash" to scare others away...But what's behind all of their "fake smoke" and "sound effects?" Usually, it's a person with a lot of fears and insecurities. Someone who doesn't always know how to mix and mingle and "play fair." Have you noticed this?Posted 04-27-2014 at 09:20 AM by CArizona
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I know that I'm going to have to deal with a wide assortment of "personalities" and "temperments" when I step-out into the world "at large!" Maybe this is why I stay "in" so much...It was different when my husband and sons and other family members were alive. I wasn't totally on my own! I had a little "back-up!"...Good that I know how to "go it alone" and amuse myself. I don't have to step-out into the "masses" every single day...I can do "small doses." (YEA!)...But there are times when I need a "social fix." Times when I need to feel "connected" to somebody! Can't play "hermit" day in and day out with no social interaction at all. (Ever!)...I spent the day with friends yesterday and got my "fix." So I'm staying "in" today...A little bit "here" and "there" seems to work best for me.Posted 04-27-2014 at 10:15 AM by CArizona
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"Why don't you do this? Or that?"...Sometimes I run into "well-meaning" friends who hand me unsolicited advice.. Or they "counter" what I say and turn the conversation into a debate about what I should (or shouldn't) do with my life!...All of this seems pretty weird to me because I'm used to "going it alone." I'm used to making my very own decisions about my life...No one else is "around" most of the time. Friends just "pop" in and out of my life every so often. (Once in a "blue moon!")...I don't think I "know everything!" I still have a lot to learn and I'm bound to make mistakes...But, I'm not a child! Or totally stupid either!...I'm not someone else's "project" in other words. And I don't want to get into debates about what I should or shouldn't do with my life.Posted 07-23-2014 at 10:23 AM by CArizona
