D minus 4 weeks and counting down......
Posted 09-04-2008 at 08:46 PM by aiangel_writer
Well, it was that time once again. I dreaded it more than going to the dentist, and guys, I HATE GOING TO THE DENTIST! ! !
I had only done this twice before and it was just as hard then as it looked like it was going to be this time.
I thought and thought about how to go about it this time, asking my dh what he thought, how he thought I should handle it. He said I needed proof, a simple statement of facts.
SIMPLE...sure, easy for him to say. But deep down, I knew he was right. I had to approach this with no emotion, I had to plan well and lay out a strategy that was easy to read, to the point and true.
Time consuming? You bet cha? But would it be worth it? More than I can say.
So, I sat down for one month and calculated, counted, kept records and jotted down notes to help me gather my facts at the end of the month.
Then, when the time was right, I started on a proposal that in the end would mean a raise or none for this year.
It took me a week to complete, and in the end, I was still not satisfied with it, but my time had run out. It was now or wait another month.
The night of the monthly meeting crept upon me way too fast and I was nervous.
I presented my proposal to the board, explaining the pros and cons of my job, showing records of how much the job had grown in the three years since my last raise. I stumbled over words and wondered where that had come from!
Questions were asked to me and I found myself calming down, answering them with ease, feeling more normal with each new question.
In the end, I got my raise, not what I had hoped for, but it was within the baseline I had laid out. I also got the promise that my pay would be evaluated each year and a raise according to job growth and cost of living increases.
It simply amazes me that I can get up in front of people, lay out technical issues and not break a sweat, but let it be about something like a raise and I suddenly feel inadequate and almost want to apologize for even asking.
Anyone else ever feel this way?
I had only done this twice before and it was just as hard then as it looked like it was going to be this time.
I thought and thought about how to go about it this time, asking my dh what he thought, how he thought I should handle it. He said I needed proof, a simple statement of facts.
SIMPLE...sure, easy for him to say. But deep down, I knew he was right. I had to approach this with no emotion, I had to plan well and lay out a strategy that was easy to read, to the point and true.
Time consuming? You bet cha? But would it be worth it? More than I can say.
So, I sat down for one month and calculated, counted, kept records and jotted down notes to help me gather my facts at the end of the month.
Then, when the time was right, I started on a proposal that in the end would mean a raise or none for this year.
It took me a week to complete, and in the end, I was still not satisfied with it, but my time had run out. It was now or wait another month.
The night of the monthly meeting crept upon me way too fast and I was nervous.
I presented my proposal to the board, explaining the pros and cons of my job, showing records of how much the job had grown in the three years since my last raise. I stumbled over words and wondered where that had come from!
Questions were asked to me and I found myself calming down, answering them with ease, feeling more normal with each new question.
In the end, I got my raise, not what I had hoped for, but it was within the baseline I had laid out. I also got the promise that my pay would be evaluated each year and a raise according to job growth and cost of living increases.
It simply amazes me that I can get up in front of people, lay out technical issues and not break a sweat, but let it be about something like a raise and I suddenly feel inadequate and almost want to apologize for even asking.
Anyone else ever feel this way?
Total Comments 5
Comments
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gosh i guess i am the only one in the world to feel this way. !
Posted 09-07-2008 at 12:39 PM by aiangel_writer
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I've always had a difficult time speaking in front of a group, no matter how well prepared I am.Posted 09-07-2008 at 04:30 PM by East Coast Wanderer
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I do believe we are the only ones who seem to have this problem njmike.
thank you for your comment..Posted 09-10-2008 at 11:33 PM by aiangel_writer
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Here's what I think that feeling may come from: Perhaps you ultimately feel that you shouldn't even have to put a big project of evidence together to justify getting a raise. You know you deserve it and they should have already recognized it and rewarded you without your having to ask for it. Maybe that inadequacy and apologetic feeling comes from the dent in your self-esteem because you actually had to ASK for a raise in the first place.Posted 09-12-2008 at 10:17 AM by busybody
