My Inquiring Mind...

... wants to know why others think the way they do. At times I feel like I understand someone and can relate to their point of view. Then something changes and that spark is gone. What has changed, me or them?

Have I offended or caused mis-trust to make them turn from me? Did they reveal their true self to my distaste for me to avoid them? My inquiring mind wants to know.

My inquiring mind wants to know are the bonds forged here true and lasting? Are they more than fair-weather friends behind those screens? I believe they are, but can I be certain? Perhaps not. I choose to believe they are and conduct myself accordingly. Friends without faces (in most cases ) are better than none at all. Do you agree? My inquiring mind wants to know.

My inquiring mind wants to know have I done something to a friend unknowingly callous or rude? I tend to fail at nurturing friendships, which is why my RL is devoid of all but a small few. I'm transparent and honest and what you read is what you get. I don't play games or prestige try to invent. But I admit I can be insecure and kind of clingy. So then I do a 180 and try to be aloof. I don't like to pressure or persist. I maintain contact once, twice or three times without a reply. Then I think I'm pushy and they want left alone. Maybe I do it all wrong and that's why folks leave me on my own. My inquiring mind wants to know.

I've re-read dozens DMs as of late ... many boosted my spirits from last night's low, although I feel I've much further to go. They were reassuring and reaffirming and helped remind me why I'm here. They said they were glad I was back from my last absence, but have now virtually disappeared. Many Internet friends who say lovely things. But that prompted the questions above for which the answers my inquiring mind wants to know.

My inquiring mind wants to know maybe I am just too insecure or stuck on myself. I know there are true friends out there in the cyber world. Perhaps I'm lamenting over something of small significance. If I am I apologize in advance. No intent to offend or hurt, it's just answers I seek to quench a thirst.

My Lord, my God, my Savior - Jesus Christ - knows who I am. He is my friend for the rest of my life and that should suffice. But He made us creatures who desire friendship and interaction and companions in this race we call life. The ones I've made here I honestly do like and wish to continue as long as possible, if they would like.

Have I done it again... have I overstepped my bounds? My inquiring mind wants to know.