Things Ive learned since I got married..
In less than month, My wife and I will celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary. Really for the life of me Idk how she has put up with me for this long. Probably because we both find humor in things. Usually I laugh at something else and she laughs at me. One of my favorite things to do is to catch my wife taking a drink of something and try to make her laugh. If I do it just right, I can get her to spit soda or tea or whatever out everywhere. I know, it doesnt take much to amuse me-lol.
Anyway..a few things Ive learned the hardway...
1. you cant vacuum up pine needles from Christmas tree with wifes new vacuum-it will make a loud noise, one so loud you cant possibly say it was just a commercial and then it ( the vacuum not the wife) will smoke and it wont work anymore.
2. you cant leave new pans in the oven with nothing in them and forget the oven is on. they get a really nasty look and turn black. (unlike wife who gets a really nasty look and turns red.)
3. dont leave ink pens in pockets of pants and then do laundry...no matter how nice you were trying to be, said niceness is voided if ink is on wifes new pants.
4. red clothes will still fade on wifes clothes even if said clothes are not "all the way wet" (I layed a red shirt on top of wifes pants by mistake, only the sleeve was wet and it wasnt in the washer..who knew?)
5. always..and i repeat..ALWAYS turn water off before even thinking of taking apart anything to do with plumbing, no matter how small the screw is.
6. when installing a new shower..always test new shower before asking wife to test by taking a shower, hot water side may suddenly quit and wife will get a ice cold surprise.
7.never try and put a large cat behind an appliance to catch mouse when wife is standing on chair. said cat will be scared by wifes (cause entirely IMHO here) shreiks and not want to chase mouse. mouse then rans out from behind stove and across foot (mine). cat thinks my big toe is mouse and attacks with force of a full grown mountain lion.
8. never put ages on a birthday cake or a balloon to anyone over the age of 18
9. never volunteer to cook supper for in-laws when the only thing you know how to cook is hot hot chili and they dont like tomatoes or hot things and it turned out..and you only have 30 minutes because you stayed too long in the woods looking for a tree stand.
10.be slow to get mad, fast to forgive and really really fast to admit it probably, more than likely, okay it was entirely MY fault. (even if it wasnt)
Anyway..a few things Ive learned the hardway...
1. you cant vacuum up pine needles from Christmas tree with wifes new vacuum-it will make a loud noise, one so loud you cant possibly say it was just a commercial and then it ( the vacuum not the wife) will smoke and it wont work anymore.
2. you cant leave new pans in the oven with nothing in them and forget the oven is on. they get a really nasty look and turn black. (unlike wife who gets a really nasty look and turns red.)
3. dont leave ink pens in pockets of pants and then do laundry...no matter how nice you were trying to be, said niceness is voided if ink is on wifes new pants.
4. red clothes will still fade on wifes clothes even if said clothes are not "all the way wet" (I layed a red shirt on top of wifes pants by mistake, only the sleeve was wet and it wasnt in the washer..who knew?)
5. always..and i repeat..ALWAYS turn water off before even thinking of taking apart anything to do with plumbing, no matter how small the screw is.
6. when installing a new shower..always test new shower before asking wife to test by taking a shower, hot water side may suddenly quit and wife will get a ice cold surprise.
7.never try and put a large cat behind an appliance to catch mouse when wife is standing on chair. said cat will be scared by wifes (cause entirely IMHO here) shreiks and not want to chase mouse. mouse then rans out from behind stove and across foot (mine). cat thinks my big toe is mouse and attacks with force of a full grown mountain lion.
8. never put ages on a birthday cake or a balloon to anyone over the age of 18
9. never volunteer to cook supper for in-laws when the only thing you know how to cook is hot hot chili and they dont like tomatoes or hot things and it turned out..and you only have 30 minutes because you stayed too long in the woods looking for a tree stand.
10.be slow to get mad, fast to forgive and really really fast to admit it probably, more than likely, okay it was entirely MY fault. (even if it wasnt)
Total Comments 11
Comments
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Great blog.
These are tips that every married man should know and life will be much easier. I tell my husband all the time "if you listen to me your life would be much easier!". LOLPosted 07-29-2008 at 07:33 AM by Acevaz
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LOL, Arguy, I love this blog..Especiallu the part about the cat behind the fridge with the mouse..I have a story about the mountain rat behind the fridge and a cat.Posted 07-29-2008 at 08:46 AM by Miss Blue
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Arguy,
I think you are on to something here....
Great blog!
PamPosted 07-29-2008 at 09:25 AM by Pam& Bill
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Truer words were never spoken! We need to start a club for us husbandsPosted 07-29-2008 at 09:27 AM by mams1559
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Now, I must ask you, when do you go on your speaking tour, I wanna sign my hubby up! Great one arguy.Posted 07-29-2008 at 09:34 AM by aiangel_writer
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Ill be speaking on tour..um..Ive got too much going on to go on tour..ill just record a late night infomercial with that guy from oxyclean. and Ill sell my tapes for 19.99 plus shipping and handling..oh and throw in a 3x mirror, a set of steakknifes and a handy dandy flower pot that waters itself..for free-lolPosted 07-29-2008 at 02:11 PM by arguy1973
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I will remember your advice for when I get married someday.lolPosted 07-29-2008 at 03:16 PM by JoshB
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awwwww i loved this blog arguy ...... your really one of kind .. its good u two have that special bond plus humor ... she loves ya .. with all your crazy humor haha ..great blog again ...Posted 07-31-2008 at 01:21 AM by brenda starz
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That is quite a list, arguy! Glad you're still married after all that. LOL
In my mind, a sense of humor is one of the best things a husband or wife could have, and it sure sounds like you've got one!Posted 08-04-2008 at 01:58 PM by PhotogGal
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Ha Ha, some of these sound too familiar! Some I haven't tried yet so thanks for the warning!Posted 08-08-2008 at 03:04 PM by cg81
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Great list. Can't believe it. We both had a German shepherd husky mix named Bear, and we've both been married for 13 years. We're celebrating our 13th on Sept. 1st. I was just thinking the other day, how can I love this man even more now than when we 1st got married (and I thought I was so much in love then)? I guess the love just keeps growing over the years and experiences you share together. Happy anniversary arguy.Posted 08-09-2008 at 12:32 PM by emeraldsky
