Random Thoughts & Feelings
Posted 06-16-2008 at 09:27 PM by mams1559
My thoughts are muddled, cloudy and disconcerting. Focus is no where to be found. Life swirls around, faster and faster. What have I accomplished? What have I done? Will my efforts go unnoticed? Will I be missed when I'm gone? Questions without answers ... or with answers I don't want to hear.
My beliefs are ridiculed and I am ostracized. Home is no haven and work is hostile. Where can I rest? Who can I turn to for support? My foundation is strong, but so are the winds that are tearing me apart, mostly from within. Storms of anger and bitterness roll over my mind, and a sharp tounge unsheathed harms those around me. Can I make it right? Can I take it back? What if I were to leave and never come back; will they be better off and have a better life? Questions without answers ... or with answers I don't want to hear.
I know He hears me when I call and wants me to draw near, but far away is what I truly feel. Warmth and comfort are too fleeting to last. I know He is my strength, but lately I feel weak. Concerns for my family and their health and well being consume my every thought. How can I provide; is it enough? Have they learned what I have taught them, do they know what's important? Will they leave me or will I leave them before the work is done? Questions without answers ... or with answers I don't want to hear.
I am tired .. so, so tired. When may I rest?
My beliefs are ridiculed and I am ostracized. Home is no haven and work is hostile. Where can I rest? Who can I turn to for support? My foundation is strong, but so are the winds that are tearing me apart, mostly from within. Storms of anger and bitterness roll over my mind, and a sharp tounge unsheathed harms those around me. Can I make it right? Can I take it back? What if I were to leave and never come back; will they be better off and have a better life? Questions without answers ... or with answers I don't want to hear.
I know He hears me when I call and wants me to draw near, but far away is what I truly feel. Warmth and comfort are too fleeting to last. I know He is my strength, but lately I feel weak. Concerns for my family and their health and well being consume my every thought. How can I provide; is it enough? Have they learned what I have taught them, do they know what's important? Will they leave me or will I leave them before the work is done? Questions without answers ... or with answers I don't want to hear.
I am tired .. so, so tired. When may I rest?
Total Comments 5
Comments
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Matt 11:28-30 "Then Jesus said, come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly and the burden I give you is light".
Jesus said learn from Me, let Him teach how to give your burdens to Him. Trusting Jesus means giving it ALL to Him, ALL the fears, anxiety's, doubts. He know what heart ache is like. Sometimes the trials we go through are to help us to trust Him more, but you are never alone, He will never leave you or forsake you. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it!Posted 06-16-2008 at 09:53 PM by I LOVE NORTH CAROLINA
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Sometimes it seems that those who love Him and serve Him the most are those whose storms are the most violent..Hugs and prayers, dear Mams..Posted 06-17-2008 at 01:24 AM by Miss Blue
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I can tell you, my brother, that your life IS making a difference. Praying for you and your family, Mark.Posted 06-17-2008 at 12:03 PM by kaykay
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Those are good scriptures and comments for you my dear friend. Just remember, satan loves to attack us when we are tired and will plant tiny seeds. Resist him and be strong, for God our Savior is with you always. You will come out of this, and you will be much wiser and stronger in your walk dear brother. I know you know this, and can understand the tiredness. Rest in His arms and give it all to Him. Your faith is great. aiangelPosted 06-17-2008 at 10:04 PM by aiangel_writer
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Dear mams1559,
More people than you know feel exactly like you have described in your post. Nothing is wrong with you and you are more normal than you know. Most people tend to keep this side of things hidden from everyone for the fear that they will seem abnormal or weak, needless to say, these would be the people that aren't on my friends list. These are the people that are usually genuine hypocrites. Anyway... A girlfriend of mine sent me an e-mail the other day and she told me about this book that she has just started reading, it's called[SIZE=3]"The ROPE OF HOPE" Strength for when you're hanging on by a thread. by Bishop Jim Bolin. She says that it is an excellent read. She shared 2 [/SIZE][SIZE=3]things she has found[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]profound in the book. 1. Hell shuts down when hope comes in. WOW! So to stop the devil I think I need to be making sure my Hope is in the LORD>>>right? and 2. Stay connected to hope-givers. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]For me, these are my girlfriends.... they are[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]the positive people in my life. The people that love me no matter what. [/SIZE][SIZE=3]The people that help me pick myself up and look at what is right with the picture. She says that the whole book has been like that for her. We have so much to be thankful for and we need to look at what is right with the picture. Don't you know that old devil hates that.[/SIZE]
Well I'll stop talking for now, I tend to get carried away, but maybe I gave you something positive to think about, hang in there, your outlook will change and things will get better, keep praying, be intentional, and most of all keep the faith. God loves you and wants you to feel peace and happiness!!!Posted 06-27-2008 at 09:02 AM by HParr
