A Whole New Dilemma
Posted 11-13-2023 at 06:56 PM by ExNooYawk2
Quote:
Originally Posted by L00k4ward
Julia Child was in one like that in CA…and her last meal request there was French onion soup.
Hope they made it well for her..
Agree with the others: you have to allow yourself to stop feeling guilty.
Have a conversation with your husband and give him a choice - he goes to a nursing home or makes it easier on you to care for him.
How?
- reduce the number of his medical appointments - it is completely unnecessary at this point and extremely burdensome on you.
- Make him comfortable so he could spent some time alone in the house - figure it out how.
Using the urinal bottle instead of the bathroom?
Using the sponge bath, wipes, etc and only taking a shower 1 or twice a week? They don’t give them showers everyday in the nursing homes.
Check your elder care authorities - pretty sure he is entitled to a few hours of home care at his age.
Too bad he isn’t amenable to someone giving him a shower - he has no choice as you are physically may not be able to do it any longer(hint-hint)
-Check your options geographically where you are: there are programs available to some with the particular diagnosis.
Respite care, limited nursing care at home, daycare - so you could get to your own doctors and lunches with friends, some personal shopping.
You can’t continue like you do.
It is inhuman for him not to accept help if available.
Ask him what would happen to him if something happens to you?
Taking care of your own needs - physical, emotional and psychological - is taking care of him.
He has no choice unfortunately…
Wish you could find a way to stay in your home: sounds that it makes you happy..
Figure out if you could.
Hope they made it well for her..
Agree with the others: you have to allow yourself to stop feeling guilty.
Have a conversation with your husband and give him a choice - he goes to a nursing home or makes it easier on you to care for him.
How?
- reduce the number of his medical appointments - it is completely unnecessary at this point and extremely burdensome on you.
- Make him comfortable so he could spent some time alone in the house - figure it out how.
Using the urinal bottle instead of the bathroom?
Using the sponge bath, wipes, etc and only taking a shower 1 or twice a week? They don’t give them showers everyday in the nursing homes.
Check your elder care authorities - pretty sure he is entitled to a few hours of home care at his age.
Too bad he isn’t amenable to someone giving him a shower - he has no choice as you are physically may not be able to do it any longer(hint-hint)
-Check your options geographically where you are: there are programs available to some with the particular diagnosis.
Respite care, limited nursing care at home, daycare - so you could get to your own doctors and lunches with friends, some personal shopping.
You can’t continue like you do.
It is inhuman for him not to accept help if available.
Ask him what would happen to him if something happens to you?
Taking care of your own needs - physical, emotional and psychological - is taking care of him.
He has no choice unfortunately…
Wish you could find a way to stay in your home: sounds that it makes you happy..
Figure out if you could.
He has been wearing his Depends because I told him I'd stay in my room until he put them on. So far, so good. He hates when I'm in my room, lol.
As for staying in my house, it's too large for me to remain in it. Expensive to run. I don't want to be tied to it and I'll cry all the way to the moving truck, lol.
While I am alive, we live on his SS and my small one. If I go, he loses my small one. If he goes, I give up my small one. We have two small pensions. If I go first, nothing changes. If he goes first, the pensions are cut in half. We don't live high on the hog right now but I'll have to adjust. Cutting household bills will be a must.
Maybe I won't buy anything; will get in my travel van and just... go....
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