emotionally stuck

It's been 9 months since he left with tears in his eyes. Last words were, " I don't want this to be over. I love you Tricia." Sporadic texts, minimal calls that quickly became almost no calls, and lead to no calls. Regardless of what I try to share with him about my life, I don't feel any interest from him in it. A few times I got a question or two on something I've shared, but follow up or letting me unload my feelings with what is going on doesn't happen. I ask for updates on what he is doing, family wise, free time, plans, with us, anything, but also I am left begging to be part of his life and feeling like I don't exist. I ask, I call, I text, I ask again, but get zero answers on what he wants or is planning. I have shown this man I love, over and over again, that he can disregard my needs, feelings, trust, and time because I will continue to let him. Why? Yes I love him so much and believe we can succeed and be amazing with effort and desire from both of us, but that's not why. It's because I treat myself worse and feel I deserve even less than he does apparently.