Giving Bullies an Additional Chance
Posted 05-07-2019 at 09:04 AM by jbgusa
Most bullies' lives don't turn out well. It is easy to pick on people when they are young; the only consequence is possible discipline. In life though these people don't retain jobs. People just don't want to work with them.
Even though I applauded (softly) I really wish the story had a happier ending.As a bankruptcy lawyer I take pride in giving people second chances and in rehabilitation. And in many ways I am sad to hear Charlie died of drug abuse. I would rather he would have turned himself around. Two examples:
Michael:
For example this story had a better though not perfect ending Michael bullied me when we were in junior high school together, from about 1967 to 1971. We really didn't have contact until 1988. That summer he and others from our junior high school were playing beach football. I was brought into the game by Dave, someone who I'd been friendly with in junior high school and then from 1984 on. When we were in junior high school I was not athletic, making me easy to bully. Dave knew that had changed since he remains a close friend; Michael didn't.
During the 1988 beach football game, he was assigned to guard me. He was only half-watching, since he didn't expect I would be passed the ball. David, knowing my current abilities, passed me the ball. I caught itl and of course started running toward the goal. I was about 20 or 30 yards down the beach before Michael noticed anything. To salve his humiliation he challenged me to tennis. I beat him 6-0, 6-1 in tennis, on a 96+° day. Two summers later I was dating my girlfriend, now wife. He asked to be assigned a cabin room in our cabin. He sheepishly apologized and "hoped QRS was behind me." I said, "of course." We have continued to be acquaintances.
We have seen each other fairly often, usually in conjunction with Dave. While Michael criticizes my weight there is not a shred of the garbage of Junior High School.
I wish that would happen with everyone.
Bobbie
Bobbie and I first became acquainted with each other in October 1964 after a Halloween party my parents threw for my second grade class. After the other guests left we had a rousing crabapple fight in the driveway. A good time was had by all. Unfortunately, he also had serious psychological problems, and had frequent fights. But also good conversations even if his ideas, especially on science were a little warped.
In September 1971 we started High School, merging into a much larger class. We were both a bit unsuccessful socially and we needed friends. That October I cycled over to his house and we had a good time. I borrowed record albums from him, including, if I recall correctly, an album by Ten Years After including "I'd Love to Change the World" and Poco's album "Delivering." It wasn't long before his problems resurfaced. I brought the albums back to school in my backpack. He stole the backpack, took the albums out and left the backpack in my home room. I had to pay him for the albums he had stolen. Talk about mentally ill.
Fast forward a year later. By that fall Bobbie looked horrible. Me and some other friends (I was more socially accepted by then) discussed whether he had taken up drugs. One rainy night in that very rainy October 1972 my mother, father and myself were driving home from Scarsdale High School adult classes. Certain of those were open to students. Bobbie's name came up and I said "Dad, I'm worried about him, really worried. He looks pockmarked and terrible." My father said "I detect a note of concern, Jimmy." I said I was concerned.
Summary
I always have wanted and will want people to turn out for the better. If they make no effort to help themselves, though, and they have hurt me badly, I am not too saddened at their death. But again, I always want people to turn themselves around.
Even though I applauded (softly) I really wish the story had a happier ending.As a bankruptcy lawyer I take pride in giving people second chances and in rehabilitation. And in many ways I am sad to hear Charlie died of drug abuse. I would rather he would have turned himself around. Two examples:
Michael:
For example this story had a better though not perfect ending Michael bullied me when we were in junior high school together, from about 1967 to 1971. We really didn't have contact until 1988. That summer he and others from our junior high school were playing beach football. I was brought into the game by Dave, someone who I'd been friendly with in junior high school and then from 1984 on. When we were in junior high school I was not athletic, making me easy to bully. Dave knew that had changed since he remains a close friend; Michael didn't.
During the 1988 beach football game, he was assigned to guard me. He was only half-watching, since he didn't expect I would be passed the ball. David, knowing my current abilities, passed me the ball. I caught itl and of course started running toward the goal. I was about 20 or 30 yards down the beach before Michael noticed anything. To salve his humiliation he challenged me to tennis. I beat him 6-0, 6-1 in tennis, on a 96+° day. Two summers later I was dating my girlfriend, now wife. He asked to be assigned a cabin room in our cabin. He sheepishly apologized and "hoped QRS was behind me." I said, "of course." We have continued to be acquaintances.
We have seen each other fairly often, usually in conjunction with Dave. While Michael criticizes my weight there is not a shred of the garbage of Junior High School.
I wish that would happen with everyone.
Bobbie
Bobbie and I first became acquainted with each other in October 1964 after a Halloween party my parents threw for my second grade class. After the other guests left we had a rousing crabapple fight in the driveway. A good time was had by all. Unfortunately, he also had serious psychological problems, and had frequent fights. But also good conversations even if his ideas, especially on science were a little warped.
In September 1971 we started High School, merging into a much larger class. We were both a bit unsuccessful socially and we needed friends. That October I cycled over to his house and we had a good time. I borrowed record albums from him, including, if I recall correctly, an album by Ten Years After including "I'd Love to Change the World" and Poco's album "Delivering." It wasn't long before his problems resurfaced. I brought the albums back to school in my backpack. He stole the backpack, took the albums out and left the backpack in my home room. I had to pay him for the albums he had stolen. Talk about mentally ill.
Fast forward a year later. By that fall Bobbie looked horrible. Me and some other friends (I was more socially accepted by then) discussed whether he had taken up drugs. One rainy night in that very rainy October 1972 my mother, father and myself were driving home from Scarsdale High School adult classes. Certain of those were open to students. Bobbie's name came up and I said "Dad, I'm worried about him, really worried. He looks pockmarked and terrible." My father said "I detect a note of concern, Jimmy." I said I was concerned.
Summary
I always have wanted and will want people to turn out for the better. If they make no effort to help themselves, though, and they have hurt me badly, I am not too saddened at their death. But again, I always want people to turn themselves around.
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