Growing wisdom,the dark embrace,the mythologist
Well I woke in total grief this morning but I journaled for an hour in a new journal I was given and got everything out and breathed a sigh of relief.Then I read Sharon Blackies Art of enchantment (a blog) she's a mythologist she wrote about the death mother,morrigu, and the winter solstice - the crux behind Christmas, and it was a complete elixir for me I came alive again after days of mindless drivel from YouTube.I cannot go back to these mindless empty days, though it will be hard as my mind can't remember things I must search out the better wisdom and knowledge I so love and believe in.
She writes "Turn on the radio or the TV, and we’re deluged by ads urging us to buy, buy, buy. Burn the planet, so that for one lunatic day of the year we can wear red hats and snowflake-embroidered sweaters and drink and eat more than is moral, frankly, and imagine everything is perfect and there’s nothing wrong with us – we’re all quite sane, honestly, and we’re sure the planet will be just fine. But we don’t need to ask for whom the jingle bells toll: they’re tolling for us – have been for decades – and still we can’t seem to help ourselves. Buy, buy, buy."
And "Our ancestors may have lived in the long-ago faraway, but the great cycles of the planet and the great cycles of the natural world are just as relevant to us today as they ever were. ‘Modern’ as we imagine ourselves to be, there is something in each of us which still fears the long dark, and Death seems always to stalk us here, in these shadowy days between Samhain and Imbolg. Once we understood these patterns, and the teachings which follow the rise and fall of the year. But once we were married to the land, and understood many things which now are lost."
I didn't agree with everything she wrote I think sweet handmade gifts are precious to give at Christmas,and that the birth of Christ is symbolic of the birth of light,literal birth of the sun over winter, it is a solistice celebration.But much of what she wrote ran deep for me and reminded me of who I was before this damage took me away from all I love.Normally I find her disdain for things a bit tiresome but today it was totally transformative,a seething destructive power like that of the death mother that burns away false things and brings great renewal, I am not surprised she dreams of the dark goddess the morrigu.Toko pa (tokopa.com) too speaks today about the dark guests of illness and suffering.As I'm in such a relationship with death at the moment and dark times I really needed to know this time has transformative power and knowledge for me.
I have, since being medicated had that whole spiritual world switched off and I think it's the greatest dearth that can be imagined to not pass through it,I miss it mournfully.I have also been so busy with wanting the Christmas glee and fairy lights that I missed what this time was teaching me,and how it was making itself known.I think a lot of people miss their life and it's deepest lessons,the wisdom of their days in pursuit of an always better one day.I normally feel tentative at the darkness but today I felt at total ease with its embrace maybe because I am facing such a neccesary dark passage in my life,maybe it is coming into my sphere.I think though I will always be a person who floods herself with light also,as my world bellows around me I never ever truly succumb to it ,I become suicidal but there's always a complete light of heaven or hope even when I do.I have my light aspect and my dark aspect.I battle between the gods of light and dark which is usual for this time of year.Ive had many dreams and intuitions that I belonged to death and darkness,that I was the witch crow,the horned goddess,mara,the black mother,many different things all from the long dark as blackie calls it and the deep,in many ways to ever reject that is to reject myself fully.But I have my light aspect,a bright daisy,dreams of mother Mary and heaven and I belong to that too.I suppose we must be equal parts,I'm not entirely sure maybe one day I'll have the wisdom and answer.
But to feel assured again that I was connected to a vast universe that had all the answers was all I needed this morning, and I think if people embraced that themselves instead of busying about their lives they would come to know their souls and stories again.Dont you think? I'm a lucky one, I've had such a rich life.Im ready to revel in the mysteries again as much as I can to feel the presence of that world as it waits for me to enter life or enter death.
She writes "Turn on the radio or the TV, and we’re deluged by ads urging us to buy, buy, buy. Burn the planet, so that for one lunatic day of the year we can wear red hats and snowflake-embroidered sweaters and drink and eat more than is moral, frankly, and imagine everything is perfect and there’s nothing wrong with us – we’re all quite sane, honestly, and we’re sure the planet will be just fine. But we don’t need to ask for whom the jingle bells toll: they’re tolling for us – have been for decades – and still we can’t seem to help ourselves. Buy, buy, buy."
And "Our ancestors may have lived in the long-ago faraway, but the great cycles of the planet and the great cycles of the natural world are just as relevant to us today as they ever were. ‘Modern’ as we imagine ourselves to be, there is something in each of us which still fears the long dark, and Death seems always to stalk us here, in these shadowy days between Samhain and Imbolg. Once we understood these patterns, and the teachings which follow the rise and fall of the year. But once we were married to the land, and understood many things which now are lost."
I didn't agree with everything she wrote I think sweet handmade gifts are precious to give at Christmas,and that the birth of Christ is symbolic of the birth of light,literal birth of the sun over winter, it is a solistice celebration.But much of what she wrote ran deep for me and reminded me of who I was before this damage took me away from all I love.Normally I find her disdain for things a bit tiresome but today it was totally transformative,a seething destructive power like that of the death mother that burns away false things and brings great renewal, I am not surprised she dreams of the dark goddess the morrigu.Toko pa (tokopa.com) too speaks today about the dark guests of illness and suffering.As I'm in such a relationship with death at the moment and dark times I really needed to know this time has transformative power and knowledge for me.
I have, since being medicated had that whole spiritual world switched off and I think it's the greatest dearth that can be imagined to not pass through it,I miss it mournfully.I have also been so busy with wanting the Christmas glee and fairy lights that I missed what this time was teaching me,and how it was making itself known.I think a lot of people miss their life and it's deepest lessons,the wisdom of their days in pursuit of an always better one day.I normally feel tentative at the darkness but today I felt at total ease with its embrace maybe because I am facing such a neccesary dark passage in my life,maybe it is coming into my sphere.I think though I will always be a person who floods herself with light also,as my world bellows around me I never ever truly succumb to it ,I become suicidal but there's always a complete light of heaven or hope even when I do.I have my light aspect and my dark aspect.I battle between the gods of light and dark which is usual for this time of year.Ive had many dreams and intuitions that I belonged to death and darkness,that I was the witch crow,the horned goddess,mara,the black mother,many different things all from the long dark as blackie calls it and the deep,in many ways to ever reject that is to reject myself fully.But I have my light aspect,a bright daisy,dreams of mother Mary and heaven and I belong to that too.I suppose we must be equal parts,I'm not entirely sure maybe one day I'll have the wisdom and answer.
But to feel assured again that I was connected to a vast universe that had all the answers was all I needed this morning, and I think if people embraced that themselves instead of busying about their lives they would come to know their souls and stories again.Dont you think? I'm a lucky one, I've had such a rich life.Im ready to revel in the mysteries again as much as I can to feel the presence of that world as it waits for me to enter life or enter death.
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