Becoming yourself,hopes and dreams,Russian woods
Such shaping fantasies, that apprehend
More than cool reason ever comprehends.
The lunatic, the lover and the poet
Are of imagination all compact
- Shakespeare
Well Im feeling good,very woodsy and antiquated libraries,scarves,song birds,mysterious Wales,I have been collecting lots of images of everything that conjures and speaks to me so I have a place to go forth from,just to inspire me.It ended up looking very old world,full of depths and character.I don't know red is still inspiring me toward some other becoming,toward something rich and detailed,but I remember I always told myself that would be the case when I found him.But daemon spirit he still is.I find myself believing the words "haunt me,drive me mad but don't leave me here in the abyss where I cannot find you".Im in a somewhat Russian mode which I'm been trying to bring back and have been looking at Slavic fairy tale illustrations.
I'm longing again to return to some little Russian village in the forests and prize open little Russian chocolates wrapped in Cyrillic with pictures of bears, with the babushka walking down the path.
Im wanting again to write articles and I have the one for exemplore on soulmates I want to do,but I'm thinking about writing an article for the mighty about my time in a psyche ward,some of the women I most admire were put in asylums from opal Whiteley to Leonora Carrington...just so many artists,writers,poets end up in them.Those same creative spirits that turn your work also turn you asunder!
I have good memories of it all surprisingly,dancing wildly with the red headed boy I met there.Talking in a British accent all lofty about the halls.Long conversations with the beautiful male nurse and his man bun about things as strange as the goddess of the Thames to Auden poems.I really would not undo my life if I could.Though truly I have longed for a normal life.I think I'll write an article about famed women put in asylums and one on my own experience.
I've been making small milestones or things I want to achieve,despite everything. I am less fatalist than I was,I think many people have a particular fate and I read on wryrd this morning the old Norse/Anglo Saxon ideas about how everything is woven and connected but I still think we have alot of will over our own lives now,that we can make of them much that we wish.There are many people who conjure a life for themselves and fulfil it.I kept my hopes small and doable,one was to go to a Viennese like cafe here for torte and tea,the other was to start my wistow cottage blog(I prefer to call it journal,blog what a hideous word like bog).The next to complete my three articles,maybe just learn to write articles.Lastly to do something with my Celtic Studies.I still bemoan everyday that I can't study Celtic studies at university.I also want a pretty journal maybe gilt or leather or floral and to do journal prompts for it everyday.It really heals me to write down these hopes and move toward them I think It would heal anyone,I will read some blogs on goal setting etc.It was always hard with my illness,sleep,and the rest to build any sort of life,but I must try and I think my hopes are achieveable for me.Now for tea and finishing my articles.
More than cool reason ever comprehends.
The lunatic, the lover and the poet
Are of imagination all compact
- Shakespeare
Well Im feeling good,very woodsy and antiquated libraries,scarves,song birds,mysterious Wales,I have been collecting lots of images of everything that conjures and speaks to me so I have a place to go forth from,just to inspire me.It ended up looking very old world,full of depths and character.I don't know red is still inspiring me toward some other becoming,toward something rich and detailed,but I remember I always told myself that would be the case when I found him.But daemon spirit he still is.I find myself believing the words "haunt me,drive me mad but don't leave me here in the abyss where I cannot find you".Im in a somewhat Russian mode which I'm been trying to bring back and have been looking at Slavic fairy tale illustrations.
I'm longing again to return to some little Russian village in the forests and prize open little Russian chocolates wrapped in Cyrillic with pictures of bears, with the babushka walking down the path.
Im wanting again to write articles and I have the one for exemplore on soulmates I want to do,but I'm thinking about writing an article for the mighty about my time in a psyche ward,some of the women I most admire were put in asylums from opal Whiteley to Leonora Carrington...just so many artists,writers,poets end up in them.Those same creative spirits that turn your work also turn you asunder!
I have good memories of it all surprisingly,dancing wildly with the red headed boy I met there.Talking in a British accent all lofty about the halls.Long conversations with the beautiful male nurse and his man bun about things as strange as the goddess of the Thames to Auden poems.I really would not undo my life if I could.Though truly I have longed for a normal life.I think I'll write an article about famed women put in asylums and one on my own experience.
I've been making small milestones or things I want to achieve,despite everything. I am less fatalist than I was,I think many people have a particular fate and I read on wryrd this morning the old Norse/Anglo Saxon ideas about how everything is woven and connected but I still think we have alot of will over our own lives now,that we can make of them much that we wish.There are many people who conjure a life for themselves and fulfil it.I kept my hopes small and doable,one was to go to a Viennese like cafe here for torte and tea,the other was to start my wistow cottage blog(I prefer to call it journal,blog what a hideous word like bog).The next to complete my three articles,maybe just learn to write articles.Lastly to do something with my Celtic Studies.I still bemoan everyday that I can't study Celtic studies at university.I also want a pretty journal maybe gilt or leather or floral and to do journal prompts for it everyday.It really heals me to write down these hopes and move toward them I think It would heal anyone,I will read some blogs on goal setting etc.It was always hard with my illness,sleep,and the rest to build any sort of life,but I must try and I think my hopes are achieveable for me.Now for tea and finishing my articles.
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