Paintings to behold,days beside death,visions and seers
Well I did some painting got my mind off things and to get my spirits up,I'm an artist but I no longer know whether I'm a good painter.I found it so tedious.A decade ago nothing was easier for me and without much trying I would bring to life great paintings now it seems it's been too long and I wonder about my creative power and how I did it.Just to get the faces flourishing,I draw them well but the paint itself is a patient pursuit.I began to draw red and me,but as I painted the face it turned into him,the other one who we shall call snow,as that is what I always call him.It was him looking peacefully over me,so strange but I suppose that is where my heart was.I still think writing is my larger love as I do it all hours,every hour but I love the idea of painting and being a painter too,it's such a thrill to see a finished painting,to bring something into being,I go wild for the patterns and good colours,and solemn faces.
But I admit I feel more pride in poems.Words first,paintings a sort of second.But I feel I need to paint and release things so when I have more colours and have watched some YouTube videos on portrait painting, I will complete this primitif piece.It all use to just flow out of me,It was so intuitive for me,It was if the brush was in command of everything,what colour next I knew and it was just a divine flow, I hardly had to put effort before, now I feel mystified,confused.But I've always been very loose and not perfectionist at all and that helps in painting to be carefree and spirited with things,it's a natural blessing that artists always have those traits.Painting helps you let go! and let loose.I took note in paintings it's the imperfections,the mistakes that give the painting it's character and soul I can't stand exacting work it seems to lack a life.I strive for this in myself now a chaos,imperfection,spirit and character.I have so many notions and emotions about the celts,red,snow,the mythology of my life,hidden russia,symbols,fate,the mysteries that I want to release and paint.But I've found it always just gives life to whatever it wants if you come to it open to receive.
I thought to myself I'm thankful to live so close to death and suffering everyday it takes you into the depths you don't live small,you don't do small talk,you don't waste your time on unimportant things,you grow in wisdom,you have days of great understanding and reward when you live close to death.I bought Celtic visions by Caitlin Matthews about seership,seers are those who have visions of the past, present,and future.I have some trouble processing what I read but I try.I feel a bit better today,I felt hopeful again for the morning.Hopefully it will last the day.On such poor sleep you're thinking is not the best to navigate life,you are half in the hedge;the otherworld and so are picking up energies and bewildering spirits.
Shamans and witches alike use to not sleep in order to enter the otherworld which the witches called hedging.To traverse the otherworld is truly magical.
Oh I have been using the web only a little and last night just dreamed over things instead,snow,Romeo and Juliet,everything antiquated and English,cotton day dresses,poems,I decided I'd start an Instagram to place all these things.I don't really like Instagram much but it might be nice to collect a little tableaux of my life.I feel always immersed in my own biography,the story of my self,you want to illustrate it.I think of myself as haughty,very english,antiquated,something mysterious and Russian,a celticist,old fashioned,girlish,romantic and poetic.Oh and something of a seer.I forget the mystic in me.It's so eroded by our society that has no place for it that I myself forget what I am.Im hoping this book on seership will teach me to wise up to my visions and dreams.Otherworld knowledge is so precious and sacred.I want to work on my boards on Pinterest today but who knows if I can still conjure and create,it all drives my soul but my mind can't rummage through it, I try my bestest everyday.Now for tea and well I wish somerset ponoma apple cake too.
But I admit I feel more pride in poems.Words first,paintings a sort of second.But I feel I need to paint and release things so when I have more colours and have watched some YouTube videos on portrait painting, I will complete this primitif piece.It all use to just flow out of me,It was so intuitive for me,It was if the brush was in command of everything,what colour next I knew and it was just a divine flow, I hardly had to put effort before, now I feel mystified,confused.But I've always been very loose and not perfectionist at all and that helps in painting to be carefree and spirited with things,it's a natural blessing that artists always have those traits.Painting helps you let go! and let loose.I took note in paintings it's the imperfections,the mistakes that give the painting it's character and soul I can't stand exacting work it seems to lack a life.I strive for this in myself now a chaos,imperfection,spirit and character.I have so many notions and emotions about the celts,red,snow,the mythology of my life,hidden russia,symbols,fate,the mysteries that I want to release and paint.But I've found it always just gives life to whatever it wants if you come to it open to receive.
I thought to myself I'm thankful to live so close to death and suffering everyday it takes you into the depths you don't live small,you don't do small talk,you don't waste your time on unimportant things,you grow in wisdom,you have days of great understanding and reward when you live close to death.I bought Celtic visions by Caitlin Matthews about seership,seers are those who have visions of the past, present,and future.I have some trouble processing what I read but I try.I feel a bit better today,I felt hopeful again for the morning.Hopefully it will last the day.On such poor sleep you're thinking is not the best to navigate life,you are half in the hedge;the otherworld and so are picking up energies and bewildering spirits.
Shamans and witches alike use to not sleep in order to enter the otherworld which the witches called hedging.To traverse the otherworld is truly magical.
Oh I have been using the web only a little and last night just dreamed over things instead,snow,Romeo and Juliet,everything antiquated and English,cotton day dresses,poems,I decided I'd start an Instagram to place all these things.I don't really like Instagram much but it might be nice to collect a little tableaux of my life.I feel always immersed in my own biography,the story of my self,you want to illustrate it.I think of myself as haughty,very english,antiquated,something mysterious and Russian,a celticist,old fashioned,girlish,romantic and poetic.Oh and something of a seer.I forget the mystic in me.It's so eroded by our society that has no place for it that I myself forget what I am.Im hoping this book on seership will teach me to wise up to my visions and dreams.Otherworld knowledge is so precious and sacred.I want to work on my boards on Pinterest today but who knows if I can still conjure and create,it all drives my soul but my mind can't rummage through it, I try my bestest everyday.Now for tea and well I wish somerset ponoma apple cake too.
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