The power of words,light and darkness,ancient poetry
As once the winged energy of delight carried you over childhood's dark abysses, now beyond your own life build the great arch of unimagined bridges.
Rainer Maria Rilke
Got some nice advice from a friend "the universe is listening" she told me,don't relay doom was the message.I'm not sure I believe that - I'm a fatalist, I think everything is pre written, but I have known the witches themselves using words to conjure things into this universe,so it's true that words have tremendous power,and her kind words with me lifted my spirits.Gosh how people need so much support and love.No more regret over things I've done I felt,just the happiness of any given day.What point is there in me lamenting all day what befalls me? I must just use and love the day.Now I'm listening to some beautiful music.Dreamt last night about walking toward the sun and I was saying bright things all night trying to keep my head up.I feel I will rise out of this time and grow like I always do.Already I am learning to plant good thoughts.
Feel a little Christian when I get like this which can be at odds with my strong paganism,I want the wise riddles,mysteries and symbols, I've been reading a blog on symbolism,Jung etc all morning,but I want the light of heaven too.In my dream I walked toward the darkness for a moment and then back toward the sun,oh such duality how do we bear it.God knows! But what a jealous God,imagine worship none but him,and you can feel so hemmed in by Christianity as if you cannot really be,can't throw your hands up,dance in exctasy,it's all very hemmed in.I don't know that I want to be on best behaviour all the time, I want to be myself.But all loving,all embracing,gentleness,light,heavenly and pure things I do also revolve around that.Sometimes I need the hope of heaven,it can be a battle, I heard last night the most sickening cries of crows for ages and thought yes darkness,death and evil are puerile and disheartening to me.But I am within it too.
I'd like to have no troubles,I think I'd paint more,Id delve more into jungian things Id make little plans,I think I still will.Im starting to think there's nothing more left for me to do on this earth,there are the paintings I'd like to do but I've not the creative power I once had,there's poems I'd like to read and write,there were things unsolved in my heart and legends I wanted to know.But I guess I do not feel much passion for life today,I am not in my heights.I feel I could die very peacefully and feel I've seen it all and there is no more to see.I feel I've lived six hundred years.I think I'll make it my only mission for the month to complete the paintings on me and red as promised,to read more ancient poetry and nothing else beside, I can't recall what else moved me.So these two things stand tall.I guess when life throws us about its perfectly okay to let things lie and forget for a bit.I don't want to ask too much of myself "gently my child,gently".
Rainer Maria Rilke
Got some nice advice from a friend "the universe is listening" she told me,don't relay doom was the message.I'm not sure I believe that - I'm a fatalist, I think everything is pre written, but I have known the witches themselves using words to conjure things into this universe,so it's true that words have tremendous power,and her kind words with me lifted my spirits.Gosh how people need so much support and love.No more regret over things I've done I felt,just the happiness of any given day.What point is there in me lamenting all day what befalls me? I must just use and love the day.Now I'm listening to some beautiful music.Dreamt last night about walking toward the sun and I was saying bright things all night trying to keep my head up.I feel I will rise out of this time and grow like I always do.Already I am learning to plant good thoughts.
Feel a little Christian when I get like this which can be at odds with my strong paganism,I want the wise riddles,mysteries and symbols, I've been reading a blog on symbolism,Jung etc all morning,but I want the light of heaven too.In my dream I walked toward the darkness for a moment and then back toward the sun,oh such duality how do we bear it.God knows! But what a jealous God,imagine worship none but him,and you can feel so hemmed in by Christianity as if you cannot really be,can't throw your hands up,dance in exctasy,it's all very hemmed in.I don't know that I want to be on best behaviour all the time, I want to be myself.But all loving,all embracing,gentleness,light,heavenly and pure things I do also revolve around that.Sometimes I need the hope of heaven,it can be a battle, I heard last night the most sickening cries of crows for ages and thought yes darkness,death and evil are puerile and disheartening to me.But I am within it too.
I'd like to have no troubles,I think I'd paint more,Id delve more into jungian things Id make little plans,I think I still will.Im starting to think there's nothing more left for me to do on this earth,there are the paintings I'd like to do but I've not the creative power I once had,there's poems I'd like to read and write,there were things unsolved in my heart and legends I wanted to know.But I guess I do not feel much passion for life today,I am not in my heights.I feel I could die very peacefully and feel I've seen it all and there is no more to see.I feel I've lived six hundred years.I think I'll make it my only mission for the month to complete the paintings on me and red as promised,to read more ancient poetry and nothing else beside, I can't recall what else moved me.So these two things stand tall.I guess when life throws us about its perfectly okay to let things lie and forget for a bit.I don't want to ask too much of myself "gently my child,gently".
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