Heaven on earth,Marion's marriage and the Madonna
Still listening to Lana del Rey my gosh - video games,if you're not floored by her beauty in that song you will be taken in by the sighing melody.And they call this song anti feminist of course,because it describes doing sweet things for her boyfriend and being quite submissive,heaven forbid we act feminine.Heaven forbid we lie in with ancient feminine principles.If I haven't said it before I can't stand modern feminism.I love how she created and invented herself I really would have liked to do the same.
I had a sad night last night just a whole day where I couldn't feel much due to the damage,even this morning I felt nothing at the sounds of my beloved birds chirping.It was really a go down the river and weep day.I fell out of love with him last night,that was strange...I could not seem to bring my feelings back, though today he's dear to me again.Sometimes love simply dies,it cannot be replenished though I did think you should let it cycle through different changes and little deaths, bumps and grooves.You withstand many things together.But me I feel in my soul that red is the only one and I must honour that feeling.The thing that left me confused is that I have a dear friend who is a seer/psychic/intuitive whatever you want to call it,and she is a great one at that, who can often read my mind - she told me red was not good and a dark influence and that has bothered me.I do feel his darkness.Do I know better, I just know the certainty of him never shifts,the most solid ground I've ever walked on.I find all the words when I'm thinking on him.
I watched a documentary on Marion Woodman - 'Dancing in the flames' on Vimeo,she is a well known jungian analyst and figure that speaks on the divine feminine.I was most mesmerised by her husband talking of their marriage how they'd had four marriages,each time allowing their union to die and be reborn.They still spoke together as if they were entirely fascinated with one another despite being in their eighties,deep but easy conversing, and spoke of their mutal destiny with each other.How he made her a globe with excerpts from all the letters she had written him in her journeys.She had wanted to leave him once but looked at his hand that had been through so much with her and it flooded her with feeling enough to stay.It completely inspired me toward what a marriage could be.
She also spoke of her encounter with the dark mother - The black Madonna and how it healed her,how she became humble to her as matter and earth.I feel that is a state I'm drawing near to myself, but still avoiding that relationship somewhat and feel okay in doing so.I have endured so much,my trauma it is almost endless that to lay on even more dark bleak material would be more than I could bear.But perhaps it is neccesary to endure all that has been killed off in me and everything I have undergone.To use it in a way that magnifies its wisdom and carries out the grief which I still cannot feel.Still my heavenly self too always wants to move away from earthly things,even symbols like the dark mother,from the implied decay and destruction that plagues earthly life and earthly things.But my gosh is their wisdom and renewal in death and all her dark material.
Marriage,painting by Wyeth.
I had a sad night last night just a whole day where I couldn't feel much due to the damage,even this morning I felt nothing at the sounds of my beloved birds chirping.It was really a go down the river and weep day.I fell out of love with him last night,that was strange...I could not seem to bring my feelings back, though today he's dear to me again.Sometimes love simply dies,it cannot be replenished though I did think you should let it cycle through different changes and little deaths, bumps and grooves.You withstand many things together.But me I feel in my soul that red is the only one and I must honour that feeling.The thing that left me confused is that I have a dear friend who is a seer/psychic/intuitive whatever you want to call it,and she is a great one at that, who can often read my mind - she told me red was not good and a dark influence and that has bothered me.I do feel his darkness.Do I know better, I just know the certainty of him never shifts,the most solid ground I've ever walked on.I find all the words when I'm thinking on him.
I watched a documentary on Marion Woodman - 'Dancing in the flames' on Vimeo,she is a well known jungian analyst and figure that speaks on the divine feminine.I was most mesmerised by her husband talking of their marriage how they'd had four marriages,each time allowing their union to die and be reborn.They still spoke together as if they were entirely fascinated with one another despite being in their eighties,deep but easy conversing, and spoke of their mutal destiny with each other.How he made her a globe with excerpts from all the letters she had written him in her journeys.She had wanted to leave him once but looked at his hand that had been through so much with her and it flooded her with feeling enough to stay.It completely inspired me toward what a marriage could be.
She also spoke of her encounter with the dark mother - The black Madonna and how it healed her,how she became humble to her as matter and earth.I feel that is a state I'm drawing near to myself, but still avoiding that relationship somewhat and feel okay in doing so.I have endured so much,my trauma it is almost endless that to lay on even more dark bleak material would be more than I could bear.But perhaps it is neccesary to endure all that has been killed off in me and everything I have undergone.To use it in a way that magnifies its wisdom and carries out the grief which I still cannot feel.Still my heavenly self too always wants to move away from earthly things,even symbols like the dark mother,from the implied decay and destruction that plagues earthly life and earthly things.But my gosh is their wisdom and renewal in death and all her dark material.
Marriage,painting by Wyeth.
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